So I was all like...
Then she was all like...
Then I was all like...
And then she was all like...
So then I was like, BECAUSE I SAID SO, PEEPERS. MOUSES!
Well let's just say, that didn't go over too well. MOUSES!
To tell you the truth, I'm not quite sure why. It's not like I didn't say, because I said so, nicely, or anythin'. I mean, I said it as nicely as it could be said.
On the other paw, maybe I didn't. Say it nicely, I mean, 'cause truth be told, I'm not sure you can have a conversation like the conversation I had with the peep, endin' with a, because I said so, that's said nicely.
And by the way, conversations between cats that end with, because I said so, rarely end well, either. Believe me, I know. MOUSES!
So anyway, you're probably wonderin' what the peep and I were discussing before we came to blows. To tell you the truth, I'm kinda wonderin' that myself, on account of my gettin' so involved with the argumentative part of the argument, I kinda forgot what we were arguin' about in the first place.
But I'm thinkin' it might have involved the nip.
Oh yeah! NOW I remember. Now I remember, totally.
It all began when I overheard Peep #1 talkin' to Peep #2. The first peep was sayin' somethin' about how well her pots of parsley were growin', and how she might bring one inside.
Now do I need to explain any further? I mean, seriously, do I? Do I really? Does it require any more explanation than that?
Okay, you've twisted my paw.
So I was all like, PARSLEY ISN'T NIP, PEEPERS. MOUSES!
Now let me tell you, my friends, I, Seville the Cat, have sniffed the parsley, and I have sniffed the nip, and they are simply not equal. While nip is like A GIFT FROM THE GODS, parsley is nothin' but yuck.
AND I DON'T CARE IF PEEPS LIKE IT BETTER, IT ISN'T THE NIP. MOUSES!
So anyway, after takin' the time to explain to the peep the differences between parsley and nip, and after gaggin' at the suggestion that parsley is quite safe for cats to eat in moderation, and that I should give it a chance, TWICE, I...
Uh, wait a minute. I don't think I was clear, there. When I say twice, I mean, I gagged twice. That's right, I GAGGED TWICE at the suggestion of eatin' parsley, a suggestion that was given only the once, but had it been given twice, believe you me, I would have gagged several times more.
But then, after all my explainin' and gaggin', I was all like...
How can you even CONSIDER takin' up valuable indoor gardenin' space with the likes of anythin' not nip?
You ever notice? You ever notice how some peeps are hard of hearin' even when technically, they aren't actually deaf?
Or maybe their hearin' is selective...
Or maybe that's what they say 'bout us cats.
So anyway, bottom line is, Peep #1 was thinkin' she was bringin' a pot of parsley inside while I, Seville the Cat, was thinkin' OTHERWISE.
And what the mouses is she doin', even growin' parsley in the first place, when she still hasn't mastered growin' the nip?
I'm sorry, did I say mastered? Did... Did.. Did... Did I. Use. The word. Mastered. In the same sentence as the words peep, growin', and nip? What I should have said was, stumbled through the kiddie wadin' pool while stubbing a toe on a beach ball.
Okay, so even I have to admit that makes absolutely no sense.
BUT NEITHER DOES THE PEEP'S INABILITY TO GROW THE NIP.
Make sense, I mean. It makes no sense, whatsoever, that any peep of mine can't grow nip.
Anyway, that was the beginnin' of our argument that ended with my sayin', because I said so. But let me tell you somethin'. Let me tell you somethin' I still intend to tell the peep. Let me tell you, there's no way, no how, any of those potted parsley plants are comin' inside, until the peep has pots of nip to bring inside, too.
And with the peep's lack of nip-growin' skills, that probably means never.
And you know somethin' else? THAT JUST ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH.
And do you know why?
BECAUSE. I. SAID. SO. MOUSES!