Oh my mouses!
OH MY MOUSES!
Did you hear?
Accordin' to the CBC, the Canada Revenue Agency is now creepin' around Facebook, lookin' to see if peeps are payin' their income tax.
On everyone's mind is... HOW IS THIS GONNA AFFECT ME?
On everyone's mind is... HOW IS THIS GONNA AFFECT SEVILLE THE CAT?
I mean, am I, Seville the Cat, gonna have to stop postin' about my investment fund? You know the one. My froggy bank. The froggy bank where I keep my money. You know, the money I'm savin' up to invest in nip futures and the like.
There could be CRA peeps searchin' Facebook right now. Searchin' and searchin' and SEARCHIN', lookin' to see if I'm payin' my taxes. If I'm makin' a little money on the side. If I'm spendin' more on nip than I've declared that I've even earned.
And if these CRA peeps are goin' around, readin' my page...
Well I sure do hope they take the time to paw me a like. MOUSES!
Just to be on the safe side, I had best make up some alternative facts.
I mean, dig up some dirt...
No, I mean, spread a few...
Oh what the mouses. I'm not sure WHAT I mean! MOUSES!
Of course, everyone is up in arms 'bout all this stuff. Oh yeah. They're sayin' that what they post on Facebook is private, and meant only for family and friends, and how the CRA shouldn't be allowed to read it and...
Well I've got news for them. NOTHIN' you post on Facebook is ever private. NOTHIN' AT ALL! Once you post it on-line, it's on-line FOREVER.
This is why I don't post pictures of myself diggin' through the trash, peein' on bushes, or washin' my bum in public. MOUSES!
Not that I ever do do any of those things.
Do do... Doo-doo... Hehehehee...
Anyway, the bottom line is, if you don't want the whole world to know, don't post it on Facebook. MOUSES!
But back to the issue at paw.
Tell me, do you think I should put a big ol' post up on my page, lettin' the Canada Revenue Agency know that even though I've been savin' up for those nip futures, for a VERY LONG TIME, I have yet to save enough to buy any?
And, do you think I should put a big ol' post up on my page, lettin' the Canada Revenue Agency know that the reason I haven't saved up enough money in my froggy bank to buy any nip futures isn't 'cause nip futures are really expensive, but rather, 'cause I haven't saved up very much? After all, my only source of income is an occasional quarter or two I find under a chesterfield cushion, and the money the peeps give me when they return bottles.
Oh, and then there was that time when I went on-line and sold Peep #1's...
Ummm... Never mind.
But do you think I should put a big ol' post up on my page, lettin' the Canada Revenue Agency know that even when I do eventually save up enough money for some nip futures, I'm not quite sure what nip futures even are?
Should I point out to those CRA peeps that even though I am a highly intellectual cat, with sole ownership of the world rights to eggbeater-whisk time travelling teleportation technology, I..
WAIT A MINUTE....
Wait a mousie mousin' mouses minute.
I'm a cat.
AND CATS DON'T PAY INCOME TAX.
Well, well, well... Turns out, this stuff isn't gonna affect me at all, and do you know what? I'm okay with that.
You know they might just put a tax on nip, then what?ReplyDelete
Tax on the nip? MOUSES!Delete
Don't put anything about nip on your Facebook page, Sivvers. You don't want to give them any ideas!ReplyDelete
Seriously. Every time I talk about nip or cat grass on my Facebook page, ads start appearin' for cookin' pots. No, I mean pot. MOUSES!Delete
Oh, Seville, I am sorry you worried for nothing. I think nip futures means you will only be buying nip in the very distant future, on account of because you have so little saved so far!ReplyDelete
Have you been listening in on the USA Sunday morning shows so you know about those alternative facts? I am not sure about how those peeps come up with facts that are alternatives to the REAL facts, 'cause then how could they be facts?
I know! Either they're real or they're fake. They can't be both and that, my friend, is for sure. MOUSES!Delete
Facebook seems like a pretty weird place for the Canada Revenue Agency - or the US IRS - to look for money hiding! If they look at my page, they might think I'm a millionaire, with all my fans... but they would be wrong!ReplyDelete
But you, my friend, ARE WORTH MILLIONS, for sure. PURRS.Delete
This could be the thin end of the wedge, maybe the thin end of the wedge of Canadian Mature Cheddar. Mouses! Peep says we should have an off shore account, but that sounds just a bit too wet to me. purrs ErinReplyDelete
Offshore account for nip and cheese? I'M IN! purrsDelete
My Momma keeps talking about my "piggy bank," but I haven't found it anywhere! I mean a WHOLE BANK of pigs! Not as awesome as a bank of tasty whole chickens ... but you know, better than nothing. I've never had frog before ... you might want to take a withdrawal from your froggy bank just to see.ReplyDelete
I think there's money in that there froggy bank of mine but the fact remains, when I sent the peep out to get me a bank, I DID SPECIFY PIG. MOUSES!Delete
Seville dude, nip futures sounds like a pawesome investment, in fact we've just expanding our annual nip crop to 20 plants this year, double last years, that's where the $$$$'s are dude, nip! Bugger the tax peeps peeping and snooping, who cares we deal in bit-coins only on the dark-web, track that snoopers!!! MOL MOL Sweetest purrs Basil & Co xoxReplyDelete
TWENTY PLANTS? MOUSES! Oh. My. Mouses. If only... IF ONLY... If only my peep wasn't a killer of the nip. MOUSES!Delete
I think you are TOTALLY safe from this whole thing since this SPYING stuff the CRA is up to effects the peeps and NOT the cats. You're immune from the long arm (paw) of the law!ReplyDelete
Hugs, Angel Sammy
I'm immune? Immune from the long paw of the law? EXCELLENT!!! purrsDelete
Better post nothing, Seville, they could have the fancy idea of taxing nip ! PurrsReplyDelete
If they start taxin' the nip, the Boston Tea Party will be child's play, for sure.Delete
Seriously, it'll seem like four-year-olds playin' with a childrens' tea set next to a blow-up kiddie pool. MOUSES!
You are such a smart kitty Seville! Saving up for nip futures and realizing kitties don't pay income tax anyway. Good thing we got you to figure stuff out for us.ReplyDelete
Sasha, Sami, & Saku
Well somebody has gotta do it. You know? purrsDelete
Well, huh, that's quite rude of them to sniff around like that.ReplyDelete
Yup, pretty darned nosey, for sure. MOUSES!Delete
I think there is a law that cats don't have to pay taxes. And your peep should be paying you for all the writing you do.ReplyDelete
You know somethin'? SHE SHOULD! MOUSES!!!Delete
Taxes on anything that affects us cats is pure nasty thinking Just sayin'ReplyDelete
Oh I so TOTALLY agree. MOUSES!Delete