Thump. Thump. THUMP.
What the mouses?
Hmmm... Just as I thought. A bug.
Now normally, I don't mind a bug or two. Bugs have their purposes. They can be quite fun to chase, you see. Especially the flying kinds although not the flying ones that have stingers.
I'm not quite sure what this particular bug was 'cept for the fact that he was a flying type which I knew on account of the fact that he kept flying into my office window. MOUSES!
Seriously, after the first thump against the glass, you'd think that bug would have figured out he should try to find someone else to bug. MOUSES!
I wonder if the reason peeps call 'em bugs is on account of their behaviour which tends to be... well... buggy. You know, on account of their bugging me. MOUSES!
Of course, bugs aren't the only thing that can bug you.
Yes I know, sometimes spies will place bugs in your... Ummm... Never mind. I'm not supposed to talk about that. Not supposed to tell you 'bout the uh... um... well...
Well I could tell you but then afterwards I'd have to kill you and I really don't wanna do that. MOUSES!
But actually, I was talking about peeps. Yes, peeps. Peeps can be bugs, too.
Now I don't know a lot of peeps who are insects other than that Spider-Man fellow but truth be told, I don't actually know him 'cause I've never really met him and in all honestly, I don't think he's really real. At least I hope he's not really real! Or maybe I do...
Anyway, like I was saying, I don't know a lot of peeps who are insects but I sure do know some peeps who are bugs. I do. In fact, I live with one or two. MOUSES!
Peep #1, in particular, is a bug who enjoys bugging us cats. Why just last night, I was lying on the chesterfield having a little nap, when Peep #1 came along and what did she do? She bugged me. MOUSES!
That's right, Peep #1 came along, picked me up, woke me up, and gave me a cuddle. Then, after said cuddle, she put me back down on the couch and expected me to fall back asleep.
Of course, fall back asleep is exactly what I did but the fact that I can fall asleep so quickly and easily is a credit to me and does not diminish her bugging characteristics at all. The fact that she bugged me is the point I am trying to make. MOUSES!
I bet a lot of you cats out there get the same kind of treatment. Peeps expecting you to let them kiss you and cuddle you and rub your tummies and...
Hmmm... Actually, I kind of like having my tummy rubbed so maybe that part isn't really bugging. Maybe. And truth be told, I kind of like the cuddles, too.
The kisses though, I can do without. Do you know what happens when a peep kisses you on top of your head? DO YOU? I'll tell you what happens. You end up with peep germs in a spot you can't wash off. Now if that's not bugging, I don't know what is. MOUSES!
Then today, I read over on Facebook how dogs are being bugged by their peeps and all. Some psychologist from the University of British Columbia claims that dogs don't like being cuddled by their peeps and yet, their peeps continue to cuddle 'em. MOUSES!
It's true! This Stanley Coren, Professor Emeritus - which sounds super important and probably is, said something about there being a whole lot of pictures all over the Internet of happy peeps hugging some very unhappy dogs. Dogs who looked like they were "uncomfortable and stressed."
But what I wanna know is, how does he know? I mean, did he ask 'em?
I know he said that the dogs looked uncomfortable but how does he know they're uncomfortable because they're being hugged? Maybe - just maybe - they're actually unhappy 'bout having their pictures taken and then put on the Internet. Did he ever think about that?
'Cause let me tell you, peeps are always bugging us cats by bringing out the flashy-boxes and stuff so I'm thinking that maybe dogs might be bugged 'bout that, too. I mean, that could be the case and that is for sure.
Needless to say, the peep has a whole camera full of pictures of the back of my head, not to mention several more of the tip of my tail and a few that don't contain me at all even though the peep swears I was in range before she actually clicked the flashy box's button. MOUSES!
But the bottom line is this. Peeps know how to be bugs and that, my friends, is for sure. MOUSES!