Sunday 8 March 2015
I've been robbed!
It's true. They stole my blood. And I know exactly who did it, too. It was my doctor. She took an entire vial and the worst part was, Peep #1 was right there at the time, facilitating the crime. She was aiding and abetting, for sure. Again I must say, MOUSES!
What's that Peepers? It was for my own good, you say? REALLY? Okay... FINE. Guess you might actually be right about that. You might actually be right about somethin' this one and only time. Enjoy bein' right, Peepers. It doesn't happen very often. Enjoy it while it lasts. MOUSES!
Truth be told, I hadn't been feelin' my best in the last little while. In the last few months, I had lost some weight. Perhaps a little more than I should.
At first, it was kind of a good thing that I lost weight. I was never overly heavy but I do have a bit of arthritis in my hips so losin' a little was good in a way. But then I lost more and Peep #1 felt that she could feel a bit too much of my shoulder and hip bones to her likin'. I had a good tum on me but she was worried 'bout the rest.
There were a couple other things goin' on, too, but I won't go into a lot of detail 'bout those on account of this here bein' a family friendly blog and no one really wants to hear too much 'bout icky stuff comin' out of either end and certainly not both. MOUSES!
But I will say that the peep said I was "lookin' a little down in the mouth." Yup, that's just what she said. Not quite sure what she meant though 'cause my mouth was - and still is - exactly where it should be and no one was lookin' down it or anythin'. Weird sayin' if you ask me. MOUSES!
Okay, enough with the mouses.
Anywho... Peep #1 made an appointment for me with my doctor and last Thursday, she took me in to the hospital. That's when it happened. That's when they stole my blood. MOU.... Um, never mind.
So the vial of my blood was whisked off into another room where they began runnin' a battery of tests. Luckily for them, we had had no major power outages in recent months so there were lots of batteries to be found.
They were checkin' for three things. They were checkin' for thyroid problems, diabetes and my kidney function. Peep #1 had her fingers crossed that the tests would discover what was goin' on with my health and that whatever it was, was treatable. She was crossin' a lot of fingers, I think, and perhaps some toes, too. She was hopin' and prayin' that I would be A-okay.
Well my doctor called later that day sayin' there was good news. She said the blood tests had done the ol' trick. She did not, however, mention if I would be gettin' my blood back. I'm thinkin' it might be tucked away somewhere in an evidence room or somethin' on account of it bein' stolen property and all. MOUSES!
Well you knew I'd start sayin' mouses again sooner or later, right? Just so happens it turned out to be sooner rather than later. Such is life. MOUSES!
Anywho... The good news is that the problem is with my thyroid and it's pretty easy to solve. One little pink pill, once a day, should do the trick. I have to go back again in a month for a re-check. I'm thinkin' they're gonna wanna steal more of my blood. Awww.... MOUSES!
But I'm super good with pills so takin' one little ol' pill, daily, will be easy peasy for me. Peep #1 just pops it in my mouth and I swallow. I'm a real trooper, for sure.
The peep knows better than to try to trick me when it comes to takin' pills. Once she tried givin' me a deworming pill in the same way she gives 'em to the rest of my fur-fam. For them, they all get the pill wrapped in a pill pocket which is then hidden in some of the fanciest of the feasts, given straight up. Works for them but for me? NO WAY. She tried that ol' trick on me and what did she find? She found one little dewormin' pill lyin' in the middle of a plate. That's right, I ate the fancy food and the pill pocket and spat that ol' pill right back out. I'm quite talented like that, you see.
Good thing it isn't my sister, Constance, who has to take the daily pills. Connie doesn't do pills. It's a fact. Oh sure, you might get the first one in her but there will never be a second. Gotta catch her first and she has some excellent hidin' spots. Not even I know where they all are. MOUSES!
And I just wanna point out that the little pink pills I'll be takin' are pink. Yes, PINK. They're not to be confused with those little blue ones that ol' spammer, Mr. Anonymous Spam, keeps tryin' to sell me. Imagine tryin' to sell a neutered kitty, like me, little blue pills. MOUSES!
I suppose I really should call the police back up and cancel that APB on my missin' blood, huh? 'Cause it's not really missin', after all. Yeah, perhaps I should do that sometime.
But I can tell you somethin' that is missin'. An hour. We're all missin' an hour around here. Not sure if it was actually stolen, though. I think that maybe it's just lost. Can you put out an APB on a missin' hour if it's only lost?
But do we actually know that that missin' hour is just lost? Do we know it's not a victim of foul play? And do we know if there are any chickens involved? MOUSES!
Perhaps that missin' hour simply crossed the road with a chicken and couldn't find its way back. And if so, why? WHY? And perhaps a better question to ask would be, did they look both ways before crossin'? No one ever asks that question, you see. No one but me.
So many questions, so little time. A whole hour less of time for investigatin' this matter at paw. I had best get on that right away. I'll let you know the minute I find that missin' hour. I'm thinkin' I should find it by the end of October, for sure. MOUSES!