Do you know what you get when you withhold coffee from a peep? I'll tell you what you get. You get one crazy peep. MOUSES!
And when I say crazy, I mean CRAZY. Crazier than a squirrel makin' nut pies kind of crazy, if you know what I mean.
Now before anyone starts thinkin' that I, Nerissa the Cat, am responsible for the peep's lack of coffee, I'm not. It wasn't me. It wasn't my fault. It was all the fault of the peep.
I know... I know... I would have been well within my rights to withhold Peep #1's coffee as punishment for her havin' totally ruined my loo. Remember how she did that? Remember how she planted those primroses and completely and utterly ruined my loo? She certainly would have deserved to be punished for that. Would have deserved that, for sure.
But I did not withhold coffee from the peep on account of her ruinin' my loo 'cause I'm not that kind of cat. I'm not the kind of cat who holds a grudge. I'm not that kind of cat at all.
Besides, by conventional standards, the withholding of coffee from a peep could be considered cruel and unusual punishment. I'm far too nice a guy to do somethin' like that. What's more, I would be left dealin' with said coffeeless peep. I'm far too smart a guy to want to have to deal with that. I'm not crazy. The world of crazy totally belongs to the peep.
I was asked by some of the other cats in my family if I was performin' some sort of scientific experiment upon the peep. If I was performin' an experiment to see just how crazy that crazy ol' peep of mine would get without her daily fix of coffee. I had to point out to my fur-fam that an experiment such as that would not only be unethical but also, incredibly crazy. That performin' such an experiment would be crazy beyond crazy and that clearly, the world of crazy, belongs to the peep.
And the squirrels. Those nut pie makin' squirrels. There's a family of 'em livin' in the oak tree at the end of my driveway. They're pretty crazy, for sure.
The peep's lack of coffee was not due to a cruel and unusual form of punishment exacted by myself. Nor was it due to some sort of insanely unethical experiment bein' performed by crazy nut pie makin' squirrely scientists. The peep's lack of coffee was due to none other than the peep. The peep bein'... well... a peep.
Let me explain...
On the first day, the peep filled up the coffeemaker with water before turning it on. Unfortunately, she forgot to add the coffee. Yes, she forgot to put any ground coffee into the coffeemaker.
Do you know what happens when a peep forgets to put the ground coffee in the coffeemaker? I can tell you exactly what happens. What happens is that said peep ends up brewin' a big ol' pot of hot water. MOUSES!
On the second day, the peep remembered to add the ground coffee and before you ask, yes, she remembered to add the water, too. However, she forgot to turn the coffeemaker on. That little button at the front of the coffeemaker? It controls everything. It even controls whether or not there's coffee for the peep. You don't turn it on? You don't get your coffee. MOUSES!
On the third day...
Well on the third day, the peep got her coffee. I made sure of it. I stood there and watched over her, makin' sure she did everythin' correctly. I couldn't deal with a coffeeless peep for a third day in a row. I just couldn't stand it. I had to make sure the peep got some coffee in her, once and for all.
I was beginning to think that perhaps my peep was even crazier than originally thought. Crazier than your typical crazy peep. Crazier than squirrels makin' nut... Nah, no one is as crazy as that.
And if she wasn't crazy, she was bein' down-right forgetful. Bein' down-right forgetful, for sure. Either that or she was nipped.
Oh my gosh... I just thought of somethin'. What if the peep was nipped on my nip? MOUSES!
I've gotta go check on my stash. Be right back.