Sunday 25 May 2014

investin' in nip

I padded into the family room Friday night only to discover my sister, Mason, sniffin' around my froggy bank.  "Whatcha doin' there, Mason?" I asked.

"I was wondering how much money you had saved up, that's all," Mason replied.

Mason is a mathematical genius, you know.  She's always interested in counting stuff and whatnot on account of her bein' a polydactyl cat and havin' those extra toes.  Or are they thumbs?   Probably thumbs 'cause they're on her front paws.  Bottom line is, she likes to count stuff 'cause she can.  She likes to show off those toes.  Thumbs...  Whatever.

A number of cats in the Blogosphere get allowances. That's what gave me the idea of startin' up a savings plan for myself but I don't actually get an allowance. No, the peeps are too cheap for that.  Instead, I get the bottle money.  Whenever a peep gets money for returnin' recyclable bottles, the money goes into my froggy bank.

Of course, most cats keep their money in piggy banks.  I sent the peep out for a piggy bank but you know peeps...  Send a peep out for a piggy bank and she comes back with a frog.  Apparently, Peep #1 doesn't know the difference between pigs and frogs.  She also doesn't know that frogs are green. Well, the stereotypical frog is green.  I've seen brown ones in my garden.  But I've never seen an orange frog.  Only orange frog I've ever seen is the frog that is my froggy bank that was supposed to be a pig.  MOUSES!

Anywho...  I figured there must be quite a bit of money in my orange, froggy bank as I have been savin' for well over a year now but I was curious as to why Mason was wantin' to know just how much I had.  So I asked her.

"They were talking on television that the trimmers were for sale," explained Mason.  "I was wondering if you had enough bottle money to buy them."

"Trimmers?" I asked.  "You mean for hedges?  Those are on sale at the hardware store all the time.  Don't you read the flyers?  What's so special about these trimmers?"

Mason propped a thumbed paw under her chin, flexing and stretching that thumb, showin' it off and whatnot.  "Maybe that's the wrong name.  Snippers?"

"Hardware store sells snippers, too," I explained.

"CLIPPERS!" cried Mason.  "Some sort of sports team called the Clippers might be going up for sale.  Someone on CNN said it might go a billion dollars.  Do you think you have enough saved up in your froggy bank for that?"

Sometimes I wonder 'bout my sister Mason.  Firstly, there was no way, no how, that a billion dollars worth of loonies and toonies was gonna fit in my froggy bank.  And even if it did, it would be way too heavy for me to take to the Clippers store.  Secondly, I couldn't even imagine how many bottles of stuff the peeps would have to drink to recycle a billion dollars worth of bottles.  And lastly but most importantly, everyone KNOWS the money in my froggy bank is earmarked for an investment in nip futures.

"You goin' crazy, Mason?  You KNOW that money is earmarked for nip futures."  I turned my back to her and began washin' my tail.

"It was just a thought," Mason sighed.  "Originally, you were going to use your bottle money to buy toys and these whipper snippers - I mean, Clippers - play basketball which requires basketballs which are balls and balls are toys, so..."

"Don't think they're toys for cats, Mason.  Firstly, basketballs are way too big for cats to play with unless those cats happen to be lions or somethin'.  Rushy comes close to bein' a lion but not even he is big or strong enough to handle a basketball.  More importantly, I don't think basketballs contain nip.  Pretty much useless without nip," I explained.

Mason was right about one thing, though.  I had originally intended on usin' my savings to buy toys. I think I might even have made mention of buyin' toys with it when sending the peep out to find me a pink piggy - and not orange froggy - bank, way back when.

But then I got to thinking 'bout stuff and realised that the peeps buy us toys all the time.  And Santa Claus brings us toys at Christmas.  And every now and then someone sends us a toy as a prezzie or whatever.  When you think about it, we cats actually get a lot of toys.  No need for me to be spendin' my own savings on more.

On the other paw, one can never have too much nip.  No siree!  Nip is where it's at.  Nip is what makes the word go round.  Nip is the best thing since sliced bread!  Maybe even better.  Actually, from a cat's perspective, nip IS better.  No doubt about that.

I don't actually know how to invest in nip futures just yet but as soon as I have enough money in my froggy bank to do so, I'm gonna find out.  I don't even really know what nip futures are but I do know this...  A FUTURE FILLED WITH NIP IS WORTH THE EFFORT OF FINDIN' OUT!

I'll have to do some research on these nip future thingies so that when the time comes, I'm ready to invest.  In the meantime, I'll let Mason count up the money in my froggy bank.  Gettin' the chance to show off her countin' skills and those extra toes will make her day.

Toes...  Thumbs...  Whatever.


  1. I like the idea of having a piggy bank. We don't have a money for bottles place here, but my pawrents no like change so they drop it in a bowl. If I had a piggy bank I could shove bowl aside (or Dori could break it) and they could then put loose change in my bank. But what would I save up fur? I get everything I want. I'm spoiled rotten. Hmmm. Maybe I could save up to make donations to others in need. That's a great idea.

  2. Nip futures sounds like a great idea Nerissa, but Nip present sounds good too!

  3. Hey, is there a nip commodities exchange? Because if there isn't, we think that's totally an untapped market.

  4. Nippers -- Clippers -- not much difference you're right Nissy. Nip futures now that's the ticket!

  5. Wow...I never thought to get an allowance! And a piggy bank. All my very own...*pads off to find Dad P*

  6. Nip is the purrfect thing to invest in Nissy. What a good idea. WE think you should follow through with that. Take care.

  7. Nip seems to be a good plan ! Purrs

  8. Dat's pawfully nice of yous Nissy. Meez dusn't get an allowance but meez mommy takes cawe of evewfin' meez needs so meez dusn't need one. And mommy has a kitty bank fuw any extwa munnys wees mite get.☺ Meez can heaw it wattle so meez finks wees mite hav sum munny fuw nip futuwes tu.

    Luv and Hugs and Kitty Kisses ♥♥♥


  9. Hmm, I don't get an allowance, I haven't got a piggy or froggy bank so my nip futures doesn't look so bright.

  10. haha! Wow! You are one smart kitty Niss!
    Froggy bank sounds super cool!!!!!
    And cant go wrong with nip!
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

  11. There's no futures for nip here...Mummy Janey ran over the nip with the lawnmower.
    The REAL Maple Syrup Mob xxxx

  12. Hey...the only bank we have is a froggy...but it is green. Maybe kitties are supposed to have froggies for banks and not piggies. As long as we have our nice lush fresh nip plant and plenty of dried nip in the freezer and our nip toys, we are happy. But if you find out something about nip in the future we should know about, purrlease post it. XO, Lily Olivia, Mauriclo, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

  13. We never thought about having a piggy bank for us. We need to have a chat with Mom Paula.

  14. What, there cats with allowances? MOUSES before you know it my boys will ask for the car keys?

  15. Nip would be a good investment, I can't get enuf of it!

  16. We live in the same city as those Clippers humans, and I can tell you one thing: those sports teams have ZERO nip value! Why would anybody want them? I mean, you have to feed them and stuff.

  17. This sounds like a sound cat investing program. The furmaly has been saving green papers and pawsibly could pool them into this fine oppurrtunity.
    Food fur thought Nissy
    Food fur thought

  18. We have a piggy bank. It is blue-ish grey. But I don't think it's got much in it. And it's nose keeps falling out (made of cork--how to get monies out).

  19. This sounds like a great investment to me! Nip Futures! That way there is nip all the time!

  20. ALLOWANCE???
    Glogirly's got some splainin' to do.
    ; ) Katie

  21. We are ALL about the nip! And who wants clippers, anyway? Ding-dang things, paring off our claw tips...

  22. I do love the crazy world that you live in!!

  23. Hmm a piggy bank sounds right up my alley! :-) I'm a piggy, I just need a little bank...

  24. What's this about an allowance, Nissy? I think the Staff and I need to talk. Re nip futures. I see plenty of nip in your future, buddy! Xx


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