We interrupt our regularly scheduled postings for this late breaking news... I AM NOW FANGLESS. MOUSES!
Our story begins, Monday morning. There I was, mindin' my own business when peep #1 scooped me up into her arms, rudely and unceremoniously shoved me in a carrier, put both me and the carrier into the car and drove off with us. I thought I was bein' catnapped or something! And I could understand why someone might want to catnap me but, to be honest, why anyone would catnap the carrier was a mystery.
It wasn't long before we got to the hospital. The parking lot was empty, which was odd. The parking lot at the hospital is usually full. It's usually full of cars being used to bring cats and dogs for their appointments. Once, I even saw one bein' used to bring in a bird! Yup, it's true... totally. I heard him squawk and everything.
Then I got to thinking. Hmmm... the parking lot is only ever this empty during emergency hours or early in the morning before the appointments of the day begin. I knew I wasn't bein' taken in for an emergency or anything like that 'cause I wasn't sick. That left... that left... Oh no! MOUSES! That left patient intake before surgeries. Not this again! NOT MORE KNEE SURGERY!
"My knee is fine!" I cried out to the peep. "Honest to goodness, it is," I told her. "Here, look... I'll even do some little plies to prove it to you," I offered. "Ouch!" and I rubbed the newly-forming bump on the top of my head. Note to self... never do plies in an enclosed carrier. Not enough room in carriers for dancin' and whatnot. Must remember that for future reference.
Truth be told, I should have known those peeps were up to something, the night before. They were behaving oddly, Sunday night. Yes, even more oddly than usual, if you can believe it. Everyone was gettin' everything done that needed to be done, so that we could all sit down and watch a little Masterpiece Theatre together. Nothin' like a little Masterpiece Theatre with the peeps. A full hour and a half of tummy rubs and chin tickles with no commercial interruptions.
Anywho... It was just before eight Sunday evening when peep #1 opened a tin of Fancy Feast and emptied the entire tin on a plate, just for me. Yeah... I was getting the whole tin! I couldn't believe my eyes. I thought I must have died and gone to Heaven. I never get a whole tin of the Fancy Feast, all at once. I should have known...
I should have known those peeps were up to something, that's what. Sure enough, they were. Sittin' in that carrier and rubbing my smarting head with a paw, I realised right there and then what their devious plan had been. Those peeps had been givin' me a super-duper supper that would fill me up so that I wouldn't be hungry and expect a midnight snack or somethin'. When you're havin' surgery in the morning, you're not allowed to eat anything after eight the night before, you see. They were making sure I had a full tummy going into the night. What evil deceitfulness on their part, I thought. MOUSES!
Okay, you're probably thinking that the peeps were trying to be nice by making sure I had a really good meal before I had to stop eating for the night. I suppose there is a certain amount of truth to that opinion but it doesn't change the fact that there I was, sittin' in a carrier, headin' in for some sort of surgery that I surely did not want to have.
The peep carried me into the hospital and signed some papers and stuff. I looked at her, forlornly. I trembled as best as I could in the limited space of the carrier. Didn't want to tremble too much and bump my head again, though. I let out a little mew. "Please peepers... please...." I begged. "Please don't leave me now!"
Ol' peepers said something 'bout loving me and that she would be back to pick me up before suppertime. Then she left.
I awoke to hear Nurse Janice on the telephone with the peep. She was sayin' that I was sound asleep, all wrapped up in a blanket like a little burrito. A burrito! A burrito? Well... I bet I did look pretty darned cute all wrapped up like that with the blankie keeping me all warm and toasty. Then I drifted back off to sleep 'cause havin' surgery is a really exhausting thing.
Sure enough, the peeps came to get me as planned. I was pretty annoyed with them and considered giving them both the cold shoulder but decided not to do so... this time. I was too drugged up on the pain meds to be givin' anyone any of my shoulders.
I was a little wobbly on my paws Monday night and needed all my powers of concentration to keep my balance so again, no cold-shoulderin' of the peeps was possible. I did manage to eat my supper, though. As luck would have it, I was served another whole tin of Fancy Feast which, I admit, was awfully good. Plus, I was pretty hungry by then. Hadn't eaten all day, you see.
Feeling much better on Tuesday morning, I hopped up onto the bathroom sink. That was when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Something was wrong... Something was missing... MY FANGS WERE MISSING! I informed the first peep that search parties must be formed and dispatched, immediately. Someone had stolen my fangs!
That was when she told me. Peep #1 said that my two fangs had not passed inspection at my last check-up and needed to be pulled. My doctor thought they might be hurting me and continue to do so if not dealt with in an expedient and efficient manner. My doctor did what she could to keep my lower tuskers so that I would keep my good looks and everything but my upper fangs were gone. Gone.... Gone. Gone for good.
I'm hopin' the peep kept my fangs for me. Once I'm feeling completely back to my ol' self, I want to put 'em under my pillow. I figure they've got to be good for a few tins of Fancy Feast and maybe a bag or two of treats. Oohhh... and if I'm really lucky, maybe some nip!