A terrible thing happened last night. Terrible and confusing and who knows what else. I must admit, I am still in a state of shock.
It was about nine o'clock, Atlantic Time, when I was settling in on the couch in the family room, next to peep #1. I knew that those two NCIS shows would be coming on any minute and I figured, they would be good for a couple hours of snuggling and tummy rubs, not to mention the chin scritches. Bliss.
That's when I noticed what I noticed. Lying on the couch, on the other side of the peep, was some yarn. The yarn wasn't alone. There were a couple of knitting needles there, too. Also, something that looked a little like an oddly shaped blanket but was far too small to actually be a blanket. Hmmm... the plot was thickening. Thickening like a white sauce bein' prepared for a salmon souffle but, I suspected, not nearly as tasty.
The peep gave me a scant few seconds of behind the ear scritches before picking up the funny looking blanket that really wasn't a blanket, along with those two knittin' needles. The writing was on the wall. The peeps hands were going to be too busy, occupied with the yarn, to be providing me with my necessary tummy rubs and chin scritches and whatnot. And I had been so looking forward to those tummy rubs, too. MOUSES! How could this be? How could she do this to me?
Then I thought to myself... maybe the peep is starting her elfin' early this year. Maybe she's makin' nip toys for us cats. Knitting up nip toys is always acceptable. I'm perfectly willing to forgo a few nightly tummy rub sessions if my abstinence means nip toys. Of course, I would prefer that the peep knit the nip toys on her own time - and not mine - but sometimes these things cannot be helped. Sometimes, I suppose, a peep has just gotta do what a peep has gotta do. I have accepted this. But to be honest, I couldn't quite see how that funny looking blanket that really wasn't a blanket could be turned into a nip toy.
I reached out a paw and gently touched the funny looking blanket that really wasn't a blanket. It was soft like a blanket all right. Hmmm... interesting. But something was still amiss.
Now, I'm a well-educated kitty and I know my shapes. Blankets can be rectangular or square or even round. I suppose, they could even be triangular, if one was into triangles. But this thing wasn't any of those. It was just weird. Weird as weird could be. And I still wasn't seeing where the nip would go. Not that blankets usually contain nip but I was beginning to think that if this was somehow a blanket, it was the weirdest looking blanket on the face of the earth and a little pocket of nip would likely be its only saving grace.
I touched it with my paw again. This time, the peep noticed. "Nissy..." she said, in a low voice. Apparently, this blanket that really wasn't a blanket was not available for touching. I withdrew my paw. Instead, I ran through my substantial cat expression repertoire in my head. Hmmm.... inquisitive ears, wide eyes and a soft mew. Yes, that would do the trick quite nicely. And it did.
The peep explained to me that the funny looking blanket that really wasn't a blanket really WASN'T a blanket. It was, in fact, a sweater. Well, I must admit, that explained a lot. It didn't have any sleeves yet, and so was unrecognisable. Although to be honest, I wasn't quite sure that the addition of said sleeves was gonna make it any more recognisable. Thought I'd give the peep her moment of glory though. Let her think she was on the right track with the sweater thing.
Then it struck me. The cold hard facts hit me like a tonne of nip falling from the sky and landing on the tip of my nose. The peep was gonna be playing with yarn during my tummy rub time and she wasn't even makin' anything for me. Not for me... not for any of us cats! I couldn't believe it. I'm telling you, you could have knocked me down with a chickadee feather. Yes, a feather that small! You could probably have knocked me down with a hummingbird feather although, if I'm bein' honest, I'm not actually sure that hummingbirds have feathers. Never been close enough to one for a proper inspection, you see.
I was dumbfounded. I couldn't believe my eyes. What oh what could the peep possibly be thinking? What could possibly have made the peep think that she could play with yarn without me? And not even makin' anything for me? MOUSES!
You know... it's all because of this ol' opposeable thumb business. I'm sure... POSITIVE... that if only I had a couple of opposeable thumbs, I could knit up a few nip toys for myself. The lack of opposeable thumbs really and truly is the only thing holdin' us cats back from knitting, you know. Maybe I could invent some sort of knittin' machine that doesn't require the required opposeable thumbs. I'm gonna have a little chat with my brother, Seville. He's quite mechanically minded. Bet he and I could invent an invention like that. Yes, I just bet we could. In the meantime, I'll have to settle for watching the peep knitting the rest of her sweater. As of last night, she has only finished half of one sleeve. We're in this for the long haul, my friends. A very long haul, indeed. MOUSES!