Sunday, 19 November 2017

can you hear me now?

For mousin' out loud.

I know she can hear me.  I KNOW it.

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

Who would ever have thought that I, Seville the Cat, would end up with a peep who is hard of hearin'.

Although in all honesty, she's more likely to have selective hearin', for sure.  MOUSES!

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

Hey Peepers, thought you'd like to know, I pooped on the wrong side of the litter box.

Oh sure, now THAT she can hear.

MOUSES!

It's annoyin' as all get out when Peep #1 pretends to not hear me.  And I KNOW she can, really.  Hear me, I mean.  I know she can hear me 'cause when I'm tryin' to be extra quiet on account of my gettin' into mischief and stuff, she ALWAYS hears me doin' that, for sure.

Like I said earlier, MOUSES!

And peeps claim we cats have selective hearin'.

Okay, so maybe now and then we do.

But two wrongs do not a right, make.

MOUSES!

And so what if I've already had three helpings of treats today.  So what if she heard me the first three times I asked.  Right now, at this very moment, I'm lookin' for helpin' number four.

Plus, they were very small treats.  I barely even tasted 'em goin' down.

But the peep, apparently, is no longer hearing my pleas.  No longer hearin' my cries.  No longer hearin' my polite requests for treats.

CLEARLY, my requests have been too polite for her to hear.

HEY PEEPERS!  GET ME A TREAT AND GET IT RIGHT NOW.  MOUSES!

Oh sure, now THAT she hears.

Peepsqueak, if you had answered me the first time I asked, I wouldn't have had to resort to makin' loud and rude demands.  You know Peepers, you pretty much brought this upon yourself.  Not MY fault you weren't hearin' me when I was askin' nicely.  Not MY fault you weren't respondin' to my cries.  Not MY fault you weren't...

Okay, okay...

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, WHERE ARE MY TREATS.

I want treats.  I want treats.  I WANT TREATS.  I WANT...

OKAY, OKAY...

MOUSES!

You know Peepers, you keep this up, and what you'll be hearin' will be my droppin' to the floor, rollin' around, dying of hunger, and...

What?  What?  What's that?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

You say you already gave me treats?

I know that.  But that was at least ten minutes ago, and I already ate 'em right up.  Plus, there were only three.  I need a fourth treat, and I need it right now.

What?  What?  What's that?  What's that you're babblin' on about NOW?

What do you MEAN you already gave me a fourth treat?  Peepsqueak, had you given me a fourth treat, I wouldn't be needin' to resortin' to beggin' and pleadin' and prancin' around the kitchen floor.  Had you given me a fourth treat, I wouldn't be lookin' for treats right now.  Had you given me a fourth treat, I wouldn't be...

What?  WHAT?

Oh.

That.

Hmmm...

Well...

Well CLEARLY, that wasn't the kinda treat for which I was askin'.

Or somethin' like that.

I'll tell you what, Peepers.  I'll just scarf down this teeny, tiny, minuscule fourth treat, right now.  You know, just to keep YOU happy and stuff.

*GULP*

And now that that's gone, I'll start beggin' for more.  For a fifth treat, I mean.  And make it a good kind, this time.

Hey Peepers!  CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?


9 comments:

  1. Goodness Seville, there's sure a lot of selective hearing going around there...and here too. We just had our dinner and we'd like a little dessert but the mom bean pay us any attention. Why no, she does not. Guess we'll resort to some hollering here too.

    Have a great week with lots of treats!

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  2. Like you kitties don't have selective hearing!!!All that ear twitching!! My Stella always ignores me when I talk to her unless I am near treats!!

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  3. I think selective hearing is infectious, Seville. You bunch of four pawed must have infected the Peep.

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  4. There are never enough treats, Seville. We humans have never grasped that fact.

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  5. Binga is a bit hard of hearing, which makes her ask for treats twice as loud as she normally would!

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  6. With our peeps the hearing and the listening seems to be different things!

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  7. Hmmm, I don't ask for treats. Mommy gives me some when she leaves for work in the morning, she puts a couple on the top of my tree and a couple on the second self and a couple on the recliner and a couple on my white blanket. Then when she gets home, she gives ma a couple of stinky treats on the bed upstairs.
    If I ask, could I get more? And would my Mommy get selective hearing if I did.
    Purrs
    Marv

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  8. Hmm sound like your fourth treat is a half treat. Which means you really should be getting another to make up for it. OR double the ration. Maybe even treble the ration to make up for the trauma of not getting a full ration... Alternatively you could get one of those counter bells that hotels and shops use....
    Toodle pip and purrs
    Erin

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  9. The Peep sure makes you work hard for those treats.

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I love hearin' from my pals. I absolutely LOVE it! Just saying...