Wednesday, 18 October 2017

a rose by any other...

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

Who. The Mouses. Cares.

SERIOUSLY.  Who cares?  It's actually not a question.  It's more like a statement, for sure.

I mean...

Well, I mean...  I mean, it's like this:  Roses smell okay, I guess.  They smell okay if you like that kinda thing.  If you like the smell of roses, that is.

But me?  Well, I'm a cat.  And cats like other smelly things.

Actually, that didn't come out quite right.  What I meant to say was, we cats like way better smells than rose-like stinks.

MOUSES!

Had he been smart, that Shakespeare dude would have written about catnip.

The nip by any other name would smell as sweet, for sure.

Now THAT'S a quote worth repeatin'.

MOUSES!

But you know peeps: They NEVER makin' the effort to write about the important things in life.

MOUSES!

Now OBVIOUSLY, nip is one of the best smellin' things in the world.  It just is.  But there are some other things that smell pretty good, too.

Valerian root, for one.

Oohhh...  And stinky feet!

Okay, so those two smells are really one and the same.  But it's a VERY GOOD smell, for sure.

MOUSES!

Peeps, on the other paw, are all messed up when it comes to smells.  They like smells like...  Well...

Well like stinky ol' ROSES, I guess.

And oranges.  My gosh, if there ever was a stinkier stink than that of an orange, it would be...

It would probably be a lemon.

MOUSES!

You know, just the other day, Peep #1 complained 'bout my havin' tuna breath.  Can you believe it?

Yeah, that's right.  The one who thinks nothin' of stickin' her nose in a rose, complained about the smell of some tuna on my breath.  Like I said, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

Never have I heard such nonsense comin' from a lemony-orange, rose-sniffin'...

Well actually, Peep #1 says stupid stuff all the time, so perhaps I have heard such nonsense before.  But this incident made it onto the list of TOP TEN stupid things she has said, for sure.

MOUSES!

Let's just say, when it comes to smells, peeps have very little taste.

It is a generally accepted fact that we cats have WAY BETTER sniffin' abilities than peeps.  But the truth is, we have more than that.  It's not just that we can smell stuff better.  We also desire to smell better stuff.  Better stuff like nip and Valerian - ie. stinky feet - and uh...  Tuna.  MOUSES!

And actually, we, ourselves, smell better, too.  I mean, we cats smell great!  If we've been rollin' around in the nip, we might smell like nip, and if we've been rubbin' up against some Valerian root, we might be so fortunate as to smell like stinky feet.

But peeps?  HA!  They go 'round sprayin' themselves with bottles of stink, and end up smellin' like roses.

MOUSES!

And don't even get me started on that stinky, minty-fresh toothpaste they use.

Complainin' about my tuna breath, indeed.  I'd take tuna breath over peppermint, any day, for sure.

MOUSES!

The only part of a peep that ever smells decent is their feet, and ONLY 'cause the smell is often reminiscent of the heavenly perfume of Valerian root.

We cats, however, smell good from the tips of our ears, to the ends of our tails, and I HAVE PROOF of that, for sure.

Why, just the other day, my brother Anderson was tryin' to sniff my butt.

I, of course, gave him a good smacky-paw to the face, sending him reeling.

Okay, so MAYBE I actually fizzed a little and ran behind the couch, but it's the same thing, really.

REALLY!

Okay, so maybe not.  But my point is, you never see peeps sniffin' each others' butts, do you?

Thought not.

And that, my friends, is a good thing, 'cause in all honestly, no one ever wants to go 'round sniffin' rose-scented butts.

MOUSES!

11 comments:

  1. AWWWW gee, I like roses, I like tuna, I like Valerian root and the smell of nip too. Just where do I fit in, no wonder my cats all like me here at Serenity. Still working on the nip here Seville, hoping to separate this plant and get more plants but good news it, it is still living. I tried it out with the cats yesterday, fresh nip is a big hit here. Hugs and purrs

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  2. Seville, you are such a deep thinker. We hasn't thought about how the bean smells, but we sure appawciate that she is soft and squishy to sleep on.

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  3. Humans have weird preferences when it comes to smells, that's for sure!

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  4. They tell me mint and nip are cousins. Must be a confusing family tree, huh?

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  5. Hmmm roses are ok on a human level I guess but catnip!?11/ Now you're talking!!

    Now, about those stinky feet......

    Silver Kitten

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  6. Well we have plenty of stinky smell around here from the kitchen as a rule and mainly of the burnt variety MOL
    The world needs nip tooth paste and cologne, in fact I think we should all send our peeps supplies in their stockings but Not the stinky stockings as they smell OK.
    Toodle pip and purrrs
    ERin

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  7. Seville, that pasty stuff that humans put on their teeth is pretty stinky as are those flowers called "dahlias" that Mom has in a pot. Dahlias are stinkier than the roses if you can believe that! Yep, that Shakespeare sure missed out on not writing about nip. He would have achieved more success if he done so. Tee hee hee!

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  8. NIP< NIP, NIP, NIP! We love nip! :)

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  9. dood.....be jezuz ...eye wood ratherz smell a bass terd chckn than de food servizz gurlz feetz ore shooz....troo lee...send tipz R way coz eye could sure give em ta her ~~~ ☺☺♥♥

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  10. Your writing is better than Shakespeare. I like your line about nip :)

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  11. Nothing is better than nip!
    Have a super Saturday...

    Noodle and crew

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