Wednesday, 22 March 2017

the retraction

OH MY MOUSES!  Get a grip woman, would ya? You'd think you were one of those Real Housewives of Beverly Hills or somethin'.  Now those women have REAL troubles, for sure. MOUSES!

I mean, if you can bicker over somethin' someone once did to you ages and ages ago -  for an entire evenin' - whatever that somethin' someone once did, it must have been pretty moused up, if you ask me.  MOUSES!

And speakin' of moused-up troubles, have you met my long-haired marmie brothers?

You know, I should have my own television show.  One of my very own.  Seriously, I should, 'cause I can bicker with the best of 'em, for sure.

I can do a pretty good smacky paw, too.

And speakin' of smacky-paws, have you met my long-haired marmie brothers?

Why just the other day, one of those long-haired marmie brothers of mine...

What's that, Andy?  Oh yeah...  You're right.  Sorry 'bout that.

Hey, what can I say?  Even a broken clock is right at least once a day.

But by broken clocks, I am not talkin' about me.  No sirree.  Nothing 'bout me is broken. MOUSES!

However, I will retract my last statement.  Yup, I will make a full retraction, forthwith.

Regardin' my insinuation that recent smacky-paw events occurring at my house involved my long-haired marmie brothers...  Well, they didn't.  I am hereby retractin' that statement, and issuing an apology to both Anderson and Rushton.  As I was reminded, about five minutes ago, said smacky-paw events were actually between myself and my sister Mason.  MOUSES!

What are you blatherin' on about now, Andy?  I apologised.  Are you satisfied with nothin'?

Nope, that there retraction on my blog is gonna have to do it.  It's not like I tweeted out the mistake to all and sundry on Twitter.  MOUSES!

Sundry.  Sundry.

It's an alternative spellin' for Sunday.

Kinda.  Sort of.  Okay, maybe not.  MOUSES!

Now where was I?

Oh yeah, I was talkin' about the smacky-paws.  The other day, I smacked my sister Mason real good, for sure.

Darn it.  I need to print another retraction.

Regardin' my last statement, what I should have said was, I smacked my sister Mason really well, for sure.

Whew!  That was close.  I could already hear the Grammar Police sirens off in the distance.

But back to those smacky-paws.  SHE STARTED IT!!!  'Nough said.  MOUSES!

What's that, Andy?  Why did Mason smacky-paw me in the first place, you ask?

Well...  Uh...  Actually...

Actually, I kinda think she was smackin' me back.

Pardon me, Andy?  Why did I smacky-paw Mason, causin' her to smacky-paw me back, you ask?

Well...  Uh...  Actually...

Let me get back to you 'bout that.

Oh yeah!  NOW I remember.  Mason made a comment 'bout me that I didn't like.  She did. Something 'bout my LORDIN' MY BLOG over the rest of you cats.  So I smacked her real good, for sure.

MOUSES!  Again, I meant, I smacked her really well, for sure.

That's better.  Another close call with those darned Grammar Police.  Next thing I know, I'll have the Merriam-Webster Dictionary on my tail.  MOUSES!

Say that again, Andy?  What does my lordin' my blog over the rest of you cats mean, you ask?

Well...  You know how I...

Um...  Never mind.  You don't need to know 'bout that.

But now that I think about it, I don't think Mason was the one who came up with the comment 'bout my lordin' my blog over the rest of you cats.  Truth be told, I think she was just repeatin' somethin' someone else said.  Somethin' someone with long-haired marmie-coloured fur said.

SMACK!!!

But on the other paw, now that I think about it a little more, maybe Mason was actually repeatin' somethin' the peep said.  Yeah, that was it.  Mason told me she heard Peep #1 say' somethin' about my lordin' my blog over the rest of you cats.

Hmmm...  But I can't smack a peep. That would be like bitin' the paw that feeds you and all that.  But I'm really, really, REALLY feelin' the urge to give someone a right good smack.   HMMM...

SMACK!!!

Sorry 'bout that Andy.  That was an alternative smack.  MOUSES!

34 comments:

  1. We are sure you won't smacky paws the Mom. You can't help it if you get on the blog a lot. We think you are very handsome.

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  2. I have been accused of being a Grammar Cop. However, I would never correct you for that. But, be nice; no smacky paws. Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Huh. Is this gonna trigger a smacky-fest, do you think?

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  4. Hmmm, sounds like someone somewhere, excluding your peep of course, needs a smack paw... maybe that Merriam Webster is a long haired marmie? Oooh I do like the idea of alternative smack paws, I wonder if I can do alternative mousing?
    Purrs, Erin

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    Replies
    1. Merriam-Webster a long-haired marmie? I NEVER KNEW. MOUSES!

      Delete
  5. The only one here who cares about smacky paws is Binga... and she's the one giving them.

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    Replies
    1. I have heard 'bout Binga's smacks. She's a bit of a legend, for sure. purrs

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  6. MOL!😸 So peep #1 started a chain reaction endin with a really well smacked smacky paw!🐾 If humans knew what they can start sometimes MOL!

    Grammar police have no say in the cat community, or at least they shouldn't. Cat-speak doesn't follow the same rules MOL😹 That's like as if cats would go around policin humans grammar for failing to adhere to cat-speak grammar MOL!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or for that matter, failin' to adhere to human grammar, too. MOUSES!

      Delete
  7. So Peep #1 started the smacky paw chain, but if you get caught Peep #1 will be upset with you. Known Peep reaction to smacky paw events.

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    Replies
    1. Hmmm... You have a good point there. MOUSES!

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  8. Sometimes Athena loves to do the smacky paws to me when I try to get her to do what I want. When will I ever learn?

    Purrs xx
    Athena and Marie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Probably not. The way of the peeps, I'm afraid. purrs

      Delete
  9. Around here Ellie and Allie do the smacky pawing!

    We wanted to thank you for the kind words you left for Cousin Trooper. He was a super ManCat and we will miss him.

    The Florida Furkids

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    Replies
    1. Trooper will be missed by so many. That's what happens when one is so very loved. purrs

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  10. All your siblings are wonderful, but I don't think they have the grammar skills you do Seville. They are lucky you do run the blog.

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  11. Sounds like a smack down all around!

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  12. MOL..I sometimes smacky paw Grandpaw, because I have no one else to smack the paw😹😹 Pawkisses for a peaceful day☺❤

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  13. Grammar police and smacky paws? Goodness, you sure have your plate full, Seville! Of course, if your plate is full of good foods, that's just fine. But anything else, bleh. Purrs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I could go for a full plate of nip right 'bout now. MOUSES!

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  14. Seville! We could understand the smacky-paws with your marmie brothers ... but Mason? She's always on your side and is the perfect assistant!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She is a good assistant, I will give you that. But even good assistants...

      What's that, Mason? You're no one's mere "assistant?"

      I'm feelin' an urge to smack. MOUSES!

      Delete
  15. Seville, your fur sibs are just jealous of your wonderpurr blogging talents. Rise above, my furend. Rise above...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I must rise to the top of the mountain, for sure. purrs

      Delete
  16. hmmmm—seems there are enough alternative smacks goin' around down here in the good ole' US of A we can't have our Canadian pals gettin' into. So Sivvers, purlease, cease with the "alternative" smacks.

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  17. MOL!!! An alternative smack? Now that's a new one. Sounds like there's a lot of smacky-paws going on around there.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, the smacky-paws happen here, for sure. MOUSES!

      Delete

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