Wednesday, 30 November 2016

jingle bells

Jingle bells, Santa smells...

Wait a minute.  I CAN'T WRITE THAT! Cats have ended up on Santa's naughty list for far less.  MOUSES!

Oh hello there, my friends.  You caught me workin' on revising another Christmas song.

But now that I think about it, perhaps I should set that aside and work on the most important...

Hold on.  I sense inspiration coming.  Wait for it...

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Scratch that.

It's the most important letter of the year.

Better.

That's right!  It's that time again. I need to write the most important letter of the year.  I need to write my letter to Santa Claus.  MOUSES!

You all have your letters written?  If not, it's time to get crackin' on 'em, for sure.  Tomorrow is the first day of December, and it won't be long now before Santa Claus is comin' to town.

Hmmm...  But I don't live in a town!  It's more like a dot on a map.  MOUSES!

No matter, Santa has come to my house every other year and I'm sure he'll come again this...

What's that Peepers?  Have I been good?

OF COURSE I'VE BEEN GOOD!

I think.

Let me get back to you 'bout that.

YES.  Yes, I have been very, very good.  I've been...

Pardon me Peepers?  What about what time?

That doesn't count.  I WAS PROVOKED.  MOUSES!

And that other time when I did what?

Peepers, have you met my fur-sibs?  Are you aware of how they tease and torment me?  And have you looked in a mirror lately?  Are you aware of how you...

Maybe I should just plead the fifth.

Bottom line is, it should come as no surprise to anyone, that sometimes, at my house, there is mischief.  MOUSES!

But back to that letter.


Dear Santa Claus,

Hello there.  Long time no see!  I trust you are well.  Mrs. Claus takin' good care of you?  Bakin' you lots of nip cookies and the like?  Hope so.

Anyway...

Anyway, I've been very, very good again this year.  Yes, there were a few indiscretions, here and there, but TRUST ME, they weren't my fault.  When you live with the peeps I live with, stuff happens.  Stuff happens a lot, and it's never my fault.  Honest.  MOUSES!

Which brings me to why I am writin'.

This year, all I want for Christmas is a nip mouse or two.  Maybe three.  As you probably know, it's always good to have some back-up nip mice when you live in a multi-cat household, as sometimes, a fur-sib will steal your nip mouse and slobber all over it.  Once a nip mouse has been slobbered all over by another cat, it's really never the same.  Believe me, I know.  MOUSES!

My fur-sibs Mason, Tess, Tobias, Rushton and Anderson would also like some nip mice for Christmas.  And if you could bring a couple for Dionysia, that would be great.  He or she - peeps STILL don't know if he's a boy or a girl - might spend Christmas morning with us and he'd feel left out if there was nothing under the tree with his name on it.  And perhaps an extra for Nosey-Neighbour-Cat?  You know, in case he visits too.

As per our contractual agreement signed in December of last year, I shall have the peep leave out a plate of nip sugar cookies for you.  Unless, of course, you would prefer cheddar-nip crackers this time 'round.  They're super delicious and I highly recommend them.  If you'd rather have the crackers, please let me know a couple days in advance.  There will be a nice pot of hot nip tea waiting for you, too.  You okay to fly your sleigh while nipped?  And what would the reindeer like?  If I remember correctly, last year they weren't too keen on the red-nosed carrot granola bars the peep made.  I TOLD her they'd rather have a sweet treat than stupid ol' granola.  MOUSES!

In case I don't actually see you on Christmas Eve, I'll wish you a Merry Christmas now.  Kisses and purrs to Mrs. Claus.  Please say hi to the elves for me.  All of them.  Yes, even the naughty ones. 

Love & Purrs,
Seville.


There!  That ought to do it.  I'll have the peep mail my letter first thing tomorrow morning.

Now...  Time to get busy revising some more songs.  MOUSES!


18 comments:

  1. Aaaaaaaaw Dat's very nice of you Seville to think of da neighbor cat too. We sure hope you get your nip mousies. Now me has to go 'splain da Santa letter to Raena. Big hugs to all

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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  2. dood.....yur letterz total lee awesum ....we noe santa & de mizzuz ~~~~ waves two all....will loves it....we hope him brings each oh ewe 97 nip mice fora grand total oh like 298,503,411,033 ....mind ewe math waz knot R best subject in skewl !!!! hope everee onez doin sooooper grate ♥♥♥

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  3. That was a nice letter, and I probably shouldn't say anything... but out here, we are Santa Claus atheists! So no letters get written here.

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  4. That letter ought to do it Seville...we're sure there will be numerous nip mouses under the tree for you, the sibs and the visitors too!

    How could he possibly not bring it with promises of nip sugar cookies and nip tea? Guess we should be thinking about a letter to Santa too.

    Sasha, Sami, & Saku

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  5. What a great letter, Sivvers! How could Santa come to any conclusion other than that you've been a good cat this year? :)

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  6. Oooh! I didn't know I had to write to the Big S too, I wonder what the postage is? Do you know what he would like for his Christmas, as I'm figuring nip mice and cream probably won't be on his wish list! purrs Erin

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  7. Well done for putting paw to paper and writing your letter to Santa! Maybe I will tell Gizmo that if he doesn't write his list soon, he might miss out... x

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  8. That was a very nice letter, Seville. Santa will be impressed and probably leave you a sack load of nip mousies.

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  9. Ummm ... Seville, I hate to break it to you, but peeps aren't the most reliable at getting letters to Santa. You'll probably have better luck paying off the nosey neighbor cat to drop it in the neighbor's mail. Seriously, I've made tiny requests for many years (a tiny tasty whole chicken farm isn't too much to ask, is it?) and it finally hit me that the only explanation was that Santa didn't get my letters! I'm onto my Momma ... I just need proof! ~Bear Cat

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  10. Always working. That is so YOU, Seville! And we're sure you'll get nip mousies for your labors. We know Santa reads every letter and yours is the best!

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  11. I trust you Seville! We are sure you were provoked!! Amarula knows just how you feel!

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  12. That was a beautiful letter, I hope you get a dozen nip mice.

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  13. I have it on good authority that Santa grades on a curve, anyway ;)
    ~Vicat

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  14. Wonderful letter to Santa. Do you think he'll believe the part about you being good? If he does, we're sure you'll get plenty of mouses so you can share.

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  15. Excellent letter Seville!
    Mes goes up and talks to Santa in person. Mes finds that giving him a gift sort of glosses over my indiscretions for the year and mes can gives him the real excuses er reasons for why I did what I did.
    Plus mes so beautiful and cuddly he would never believe that mes would does some of the things mes does.
    Noe excuse mes, mes must goes and yaks some hair balls in Mommy's shoes...she left the closet door open!
    Kisses
    Nellie

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  16. I think the rule is three indiscretions a year. Whose rule is that? I'm not sure. I would assume it's Santa's rule. Anyway, I hope you didn't go over three!

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  17. sigh...I did not do a Santa Paws letter. I know now that even my stocking doesn't get stuffed. Total bummer...BUT...I know that lots of other cats and woofies don't get anything and we always make sure we donate to our local rescues. Paw pats, Savannah

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