Wednesday, 8 June 2016

boys!

Like two ships in the night, my sister and I passed one another, only it wasn't nighttime as it was actually around noon, yesterday.  And we weren't ships 'cause as you know, we're cats, and cats and ships are two totally different things.  And, of course, it was the hallway where one does not usually expect to find any ships. Usually.  Well I've never seen any in there yet.  MOUSES!

So anyway, I was heading to the back door and Mason was heading to the front door, when she asked me where I was goin'.  "To the back door," I explained.  "I just looked out the living room window and it's a bright sunny day outside.  I'm thinkin' I'll spend some outdoor time out on the deck.  Where are you going?  Wanna come out on the deck with me?"

"You're going to be in for a rude surprise," Mason told me.  "I was just looking out the kitchen window, out back, and it's pretty cloudy out there.  Looks like it's going to rain.  Deck will be a washout, I'm afraid, which is why I'm about to fetch an umbrella from the front closet.  I think I left a biff bag outside, last night, and I don't want it to get wet."

"Really?  REALLY?  But that can't be," I told Mason.  "It's a beautiful day in the front yard.  Back yard will be just the same."

"Boys," and Mason shook her head.  "Silly, silly boys," she said in a sing-song voice.  "It can't be nice in the front yard if it's stormy in the back.  Seville, I have to ask.  Are you nipped?  It's only noon."

"I AM NOT NIPPED!" I said, stamping a paw.  I grabbed Mason by the tail and dragged... encouraged her to follow me.  "Come see for yourself.  Bet it's beautiful out on the back deck."

But looking out the back door, I dropped my jaw in surprise.  "But this can't be..."

"Told you!" Mason said triumphantly.

"But..."  Grabbing my sister by the tail once more, she followed me to the front door, next to the living room, where I had been looking out a window earlier.  Standing on our hind legs, we both looked outside.  "See?  I told you!  Beautiful day out there, for sure."

Mason and I stepped back from the door and stared at one another for a moment before saying in unison, "It doesn't make sense."

Together, we tore through the house to the back door, once more, and looked outside again.  Dark clouds hung overhead.   Then we raced to the front door and again looked outside to find the sun shining and blue sky, everywhere.

"Meet me in the kitchen," I told my sister.  "I think I need a snack.  Or better yet, some nip."

I swallowed the last Treat Temptation before sitting back on my haunches.  While flicking my tail with annoyance and tapping a claw on the floor, it struck me like a bolt of lightening might strike from one of those dark storm clouds hanging overhead in the backyard.

"Mason, do you know what this means?" I asked, shaking her so hard, some loose fur she was about to shed drifted onto the floor.

"Yeah," my sister answered.  "Peep #1 will be using the vacuum in here when she sees my fur all over the kitchen floor."

I swished Mason's fur she had shed with my tail, and several hairs became airborne.  One creamy-fawny coloured hair slowly drifted downward, and landed on my nose.  I stared at it, mesmerized by the gall of a hair, that was not my own, landing on my very own nose.

"Careful Seville," Mason warned.  "That cross-eyed look might just stick."

Blowing Mason's hair away with one strong huff followed by an even stronger puff, I grabbed her again and shook her some more.  "Do you know what this means?" I asked, this time more excitedly.

"Get your paws off me, you ginger-haired marmie freak," Mason cried.

"That's redundant," I told Mason.  "Marmalade cats are ginger and ginger cats are marmies and..."

"What about the freak part?" Mason asked.  "Is that being redundant, too?"

Realising we were getting off-track, I asked Mason one last time, "DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS?"  By now, I was jumping up and down with excitement and encouraging...   yeah, encouraging her to do the same.  "Mason, you and I have done it. We've done it, I tell you!  We've found the proof."

"Proof of what?" and Mason squirmed out of my grasp.  Peep #1 doesn't call her a squirmy-wormy for nothing, you see.

"Mason, for centuries cats have been running from back doors to front and front doors to back, trying to find better weather at one of them.  You've done it.  I've done it.  We've ALL done it, numerous times.  You get a peep to open the back door and find it's snowing.   Then you get the same peep to open the front door, expecting the weather to be better, only to find it's snowing out there, too.  Or it's raining at both doors or cold and windy or icky in some other way.  Point is, we cats have been - FOR CENTURIES - expecting weather at different doors to be somehow different and yet, it never is...  UNTIL TODAY," I finished.  "MOUSES!"

"Seville, are you suggesting this is proof of the back-front, front-back, door-to-door weather paradox?" Mason asked.

"I'm not suggesting it," I answered.  "I'm stating it as fact.  Come on."

Once more, Mason and I hurried to the front door, this time venturing outside.  The sun was shining and the sky was blue.  We looked up.  We looked way, way up.

"OH MY MOUSES!" we cried, clasping our paws to our cheeks.

Directly above our house was the biggest, blackest storm cloud either of us had ever seen.

Okay...  Maybe not the biggest nor the blackest but it did kind of remind me of those storm clouds you see hanging over the houses of evil characters in cartoons and the like.

Actually, it really wasn't all that black.  Not even really dark.  Maybe a light grey?  But it most certainly was a cloud and it was right there, hovering over our house.

I stood still, like a block of the iciest ice, before murmuring under my breath, "That there is a weather vortex, I do believe.  A weather vortex connected to, and probably feeding, the back-front, front-back, door-to-door weather paradox currently existing in our yard."

"Actually Seville, I think it's just a cloud," and Mason spun on her tail and returned indoors.  "Every cloud has to begin and end somewhere," she explained.  "Just so happens that today of all days, its edge is hanging right over our house.  It'll move.  The wind will blow it away.  Leave it to you to make a big deal out of nothing."

I followed Mason into the house, somewhat dejectedly.  "I did not make a big deal out of nothing," I muttered to myself.  "And I still think we've discovered proof that the paradox exists And I know for a fact that cats have been looking for this proof for years and...."

At that very moment, a loud crash was heard from overhead.  Covering my ears with my paws I cried out to Mason, "Take cover!  Lightening from a vortex connected to a back-front, front-back, door-to-door weather paradox is the most dangerous kind of lightening that can exist."

"Calm down you ginger-haired marmie," and Mason pulled my paws from my ears.  "That was Peep #1, upstairs.  She's cleaning.  I heard her say she was going to vacuum."

"Ohhh....   DON'T GET ME STARTED ON VACUUMS.  Mason," and I wrapped a paw around my sister, leading her to the family room.  "Did I ever tell you 'bout the time I discovered the connection between vacuums, vortexes and unexplained power sources possibly linked to alien abductions?  It all started a couple of years ago when I..."

That's when Mason suddenly rolled her eyes so high it was as if they rolled right into the back of her head before yelling, in an odd and unexplainable tone, "BOYS!"


48 comments:

  1. I'm convinced that my Momma controls the weather. She makes it cold or rainy so I won't want to go outside. Of course, that means that when it's COLD or RAINY I have to buck up and prove to her that I don't care. She'll stand there holding the door wide open with a look that says she thinks I'll just run back inside. Well, I WOULD run back inside if that wasn't what she expected. My favorite part of this game is sitting just far enough away that she has to come out in the cold and/or rain to get me back inside. The second best part? All the rain beads up on the outside of my coat so when we're back inside and she sits back down, I jump in her lap and dry myself off. This doesn't really add anything to your post - I was just ranting on a tangent about the weather. HUMANS! ~Bear Cat

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    1. Have you ever tried sittin' right in the doorway? I do that, a lot. Just sit there, leaving the peep standing there, holdin' open the door. purrs

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  2. OMC, y'all did finally prove it!

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    1. I did! Can you believe it? Never thought it possible, to tell the truth. purrs

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  3. MOL! But don't feel bad, I get that "boys" think here quite a bit!

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  4. Wow, Seville that is really something! Mason just doesn't appreciate your scientific mind.

    Sasha, Sami, & Saku

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    1. Seriously. Gonna have to do something 'bout that, for sure. purrs

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  5. Well, thank you two for finally proving this fact. We've been trying to figure this one out for, like, forever!

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    1. Now that it has been proven, cats everywhere can run from door to door with just cause. purrs

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  6. MOL Seville, it all happens at your house!!!! MOL

    Purrs

    Basil & Co xox

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    1. You have a point there. I think my house was built upon a center of weirdness or something, for sure. purrs

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  7. Oh I hope there's no vortexing stuff going on when Mom drags out the vacuum monster - it's bad enough with all that noise - I don't want to have to avoid a vortex too!

    Hugs, Sammy

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    1. You're right to be wary. Vortexes can be very noisy, for sure. MOUSES!

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  8. The paradox does exist, if not why did the cloud stop over your house, huh? It's just like when my peeps wants to go out, it rains, and when wants to stop in it's sunny! Now that must be proof. purrs ERin

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    1. It sure must! And then there's that theory that whenever a peep carries an umbrella, it doesn't rain. Forget it though and... MOUSES!

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  9. MOL, Seville... I'm with Mason on this.

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    1. Awww... no fair. That's 'cause you're a girl, huh? MOUSES!

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  10. MOL...I do that too, Seville, running from front to back door..and guess who also does it... ;) Pawkisses for a sunny day :) <3

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  11. We are dazzled by your intellect Seville, simply dazzled!!!

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    1. Then you'll need some sunglasses, for sure! purrs

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  12. We think the weather can be different at different doors. It can rain in the front and not the back. We enjoyed that post a lot. Very funny. Have a great day.

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    1. I've always looked for proof of this paradox and now... it has been found! purrs

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  13. Can't we just take a nap now and wonder about this later?

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    1. Sure! Napping is a very important part of EVERY day. purrs

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  14. GUYS !!!! we noe eggz act lee what ewe meen....eggz act lee two de point that once it waz rainin DOWN DE STREET but KNOT at R houz....N de time warp vortex whisk, act shoo lee held de rain at bay for all oh like 2 minits and 78 secondz....ewe red that rite.....2 minitz and 78 secondz !!! how kewl iz that...ore waz that... coz thiz dinna just now happen, but it COULD again, just like both weatherz doorz at yur houz !!!!♥♥♥

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    1. Two whole minutes and seventy-eight seconds? MOUSES!

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  15. A door-to-door weather paradox? Whoa, that's deep.

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  16. Do you think the weather paradox and vacuum vortex has anything to do with why my mom is a cat magnet? If it does, I need to find a way to stop it.

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    1. I do believe that there are magnetic fields involved. MOUSES!

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  17. Wow Seville! Do you realise your discovery puts you up with the likes of Einstein, Galileo and other famous physicists?

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    1. Who needs an apple when you have back and front doors? purrs

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  18. You are very insightful!
    Have a super duper Thursday...

    Noodle and crew

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  19. Beautiful Cat. Nice Pictures. Great information. Thank you for sharing with us.Great information. Thank you for sharing with us.

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    1. You ever find different weather phenomena goin' on simultaneously at different doors? purrs

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  20. That is cool, I thought you were going to discover the sprinkler was on out back or something. :)

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    1. Thankfully no. That would have messed up my data. purrs

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  21. Did yous guys get the egg beaters out? Maybe yous should...
    Enquiringly cats wants to knows about the Front Door-back door vortex!!!
    Kisses
    Nellie

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    1. Hmmm... Now I wonder... What affect WOULD eggbeaters have on... MOUSES!

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  22. MOL ! You should discuss with Zorro, he's always checking if the weather is the same at each window of the house, and at the garden door ! Purrs

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    1. Well one day Zorro must might find different weather at different doors. We now HAVE PROOF this can happen! purrs

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  23. Well Seville after all dat excitement me sure hopes you got some outdoor time in da garden.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi

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    1. Not much, to tell the truth. After all that excitement, I needed a nap. MOUSES!

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  24. I always check front and back doors before going out (and choose the wettest cos I'm like that!). Staff once experienced the front-back thing where he worked. Sunny at front, pouring with rain at the back. His car was in the car park at the back getting wet. So he left via the front door and walked round to the car park to stay dry! Stoopid staff!

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    1. But then... Ummm... But then didn't he get wet when he got to the car? MOUSES!

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