That's right, my friends. I'm gonna be rich. MOUSES!
Okay, let's see... Hmmm...
My full name. Well that's easy. Seville the Cat.
What's next? Address. Another easy question. My house. Yup I, Seville the Cat, live at my house.
Telephone number. Telephone number! Mouses, I hardly ever use the telephone. Last time I tried using the telephone, the peep on the other end couldn't understand a word I was saying. And the words she used when she couldn't understand me? Not suitable to for a kitty my age to hear at all. MOUSES!
So telephone number... Hmmm... What to do, what to do... I know!
Please contact me by e-mail as my telephone is out of order. There, that should do the trick. MOUSES!
Last question is occupation. Blogger. I'm a blogger. Oh, and an investor in nip futures. At least I will be once I figure out exactly what nip futures are and how to get 'em but it is safe to say that the nip has a future with me. And, of course, I'm also the world's leading expert in eggbeater-whisk time travelling-teleportation theory. Is that actually an occupation? Maybe it's just a title or something like Sir or Lord or one of those Knighthood thing-a-ma-gigs. Nah, I think it's probably an occupation. I think I can put that down. Anything else? Let me see...
On second thought, I'll just put down cat. Occupation... Cat. MOUSES!
So anyway, I received an e-mail this afternoon and boy-oh-boy, all I know for sure is... I'M GONNA BE RICH!
That's right, some guy going by the name of Leonardo Robert...
What a weird name. Guy has two first names, neither of which is Cat. MOUSES!
Of course, he's probably not a cat which would explain why his name isn't Leonardo the Cat. Could be a turtle though. Once heard tell of a turtle going by the name of Leonardo. Or was he a Ninja? Hmmm...
Anyway, this Leonardo dude...
Scratch that. I have absolutely no evidence that Leonardo is a dude. I'm a dude. You've gotta be pretty special to be called a dude. I'll just call this Leonardo fellow, a fellow. MOUSES!
So anyway, this Leonardo fellow sent me an e-mail explaining how he was working for the United Nations and Interpol and had discovered that due to some sort of Internet scam coming out of Africa or Europe or America or wherever, he found fifteen million dollars that belonged to me. That's right, apparently, I was scammed out of fifteen million dollars and...
...and I never even knew! MOUSES!
Anyway, my new-found pal, Leonardo, is wanting to send me my money.
All he needs is a little information. Just four little questions to be answered and they were pretty easy ones, too. And now that I've filled out Leonardo's little questionnaire, I'm expecting delivery of my fifteen million dollars any day now.
Who needs nip futures when you've just been reimbursed fifteen million dollars?
I do. The answer to that is, me. I need nip futures because even though I'm not yet quite sure what they are, they do involve the nip and if we're being really honest here, anything and everything involving nip is a good thing, for sure. MOUSES!
Now the only things I have to do to get my money back are send Leonardo the information above and not tell anyone else about the letter he wrote.
Not telling anyone about Leonardo's letter must be really, really, super-duper important, for sure, on account of his mentioning this five times in the one letter. Boy-oh-boy, Leonardo really doesn't want me being deceived or anything by anyone who might lead me astray.
That's right, I'm calling this fellow, Leonardo, just Leonardo now. I feel like we're pals. I mean, only pals would look out for me like this, right? Right. We must be pals, for sure. MOUSES!
And it's so terribly thoughtful of Leonardo to not want me to be deceived by peeps and other cats if I should happen to mention his letter to me 'cause...
Well actually, Leonardo didn't say I was being deceived but rather that I was been deceived and been mislead. Not that I had been deceived or mislead but that I was to avoid been deceived and been mislead. Not quite sure if those were spelling mistakes or grammatical errors or what but I'm gonna ignore 'em just like I ignored all his other mistakes 'cause in all honesty, he was probably just so mousing happy to have found me so that he could reimburse me my money that he...
Wait a minute.
Wait a cotton pickin' mousin' minute.
In order for me to be reimbursed fifteen million dollars that was stolen from me in an Internet scam, I would have had to have been scammed out of fifteen million dollars in the first place. Never mind that, I would have had to have had fifteen million dollars to be scammed out of before I could even be scammed out of...
Something smells fishy here and I'm thinking it's not smelling like white flaked tuna packed in water.