Sunday, 17 January 2016

I'm gonna be rich

That's right, my friends.  I'm gonna be rich.  MOUSES!

Okay, let's see...   Hmmm...

My full name.  Well that's easy.  Seville the Cat.

What's next?  Address.  Another easy question.  My house.  Yup I, Seville the Cat, live at my house.

Telephone number.  Telephone number! Mouses, I hardly ever use the telephone. Last time I tried using the telephone, the peep on the other end couldn't understand a word I was saying.  And the words she used when she couldn't understand me? Not suitable to for a kitty my age to hear at all.  MOUSES!

So telephone number...  Hmmm...  What to do, what to do...  I know!

Please contact me by e-mail as my telephone is out of order.  There, that should do the trick.  MOUSES!

Last question is occupation.  Blogger.  I'm a blogger.  Oh, and an investor in nip futures.  At least I will be once I figure out exactly what nip futures are and how to get 'em but it is safe to say that the nip has a future with me.  And, of course, I'm also the world's leading expert in eggbeater-whisk time travelling-teleportation theory.  Is that actually an occupation?  Maybe it's just a title or something like Sir or Lord or one of those Knighthood thing-a-ma-gigs.  Nah, I think it's probably an occupation. I think I can put that down.  Anything else?  Let me see...

On second thought, I'll just put down cat.  Occupation...  Cat.  MOUSES!

                                            ********************************

So anyway, I received an e-mail this afternoon and boy-oh-boy, all I know for sure is...  I'M GONNA BE RICH!

That's right, some guy going by the name of Leonardo Robert...

What a weird name.  Guy has two first names, neither of which is Cat.  MOUSES!

Of course, he's probably not a cat which would explain why his name isn't Leonardo the Cat.  Could be a turtle though.  Once heard tell of a turtle going by the name of Leonardo.  Or was he a Ninja? Hmmm...

Anyway, this Leonardo dude...

Scratch that.  I have absolutely no evidence that Leonardo is a dude.  I'm a dude.  You've gotta be pretty special to be called a dude.  I'll just call this Leonardo fellow, a fellow.  MOUSES!

So anyway, this Leonardo fellow sent me an e-mail explaining how he was working for the United Nations and Interpol and had discovered that due to some sort of Internet scam coming out of Africa or Europe or America or wherever, he found fifteen million dollars that belonged to me.  That's right, apparently, I was scammed out of fifteen million dollars and...

...and I never even knew!  MOUSES!

Anyway, my new-found pal, Leonardo, is wanting to send me my money.

All he needs is a little information.  Just four little questions to be answered and they were pretty easy ones, too.  And now that I've filled out Leonardo's little questionnaire, I'm expecting delivery of my fifteen million dollars any day now.

Who needs nip futures when you've just been reimbursed fifteen million dollars?

I do.  The answer to that is, me.  I need nip futures because even though I'm not yet quite sure what they are, they do involve the nip and if we're being really honest here, anything and everything involving nip is a good thing, for sure.  MOUSES!

Now the only things I have to do to get my money back are send Leonardo the information above and not tell anyone else about the letter he wrote.

Not telling anyone about Leonardo's letter must be really, really, super-duper important, for sure, on account of his mentioning this five times in the one letter.  Boy-oh-boy, Leonardo really doesn't want me being deceived or anything by anyone who might lead me astray.

That's right, I'm calling this fellow, Leonardo, just Leonardo now.  I feel like we're pals.  I mean, only pals would look out for me like this, right?  Right.  We must be pals, for sure.  MOUSES!

And it's so terribly thoughtful of Leonardo to not want me to be deceived by peeps and other cats if I should happen to mention his letter to me 'cause...

Well actually, Leonardo didn't say I was being deceived but rather that I was been deceived and been mislead.  Not that I had been deceived or mislead but that I was to avoid been deceived and been mislead.  Not quite sure if those were spelling mistakes or grammatical errors or what but I'm gonna ignore 'em just like I ignored all his other mistakes 'cause in all honesty, he was probably just so mousing happy to have found me so that he could reimburse me my money that he...

Wait a minute.

Wait a cotton pickin' mousin' minute.

Reimbursed?  REIMBURSED?

In order for me to be reimbursed fifteen million dollars that was stolen from me in an Internet scam, I would have had to have been scammed out of fifteen million dollars in the first place.  Never mind that, I would have had to have had fifteen million dollars to be scammed out of before I could even be scammed out of...

Something smells fishy here and I'm thinking it's not smelling like white flaked tuna packed in water.

Awww...   MOUSES!

38 comments:

  1. What a kind and benevolent individual to look after your welfare like that. Wait... what... you never had fifteen million dollars to begin with? MOUSES!! We think this Leonardo needs to have the litter stuffed out of him/her/it/whatever... Purrs from Deb and the Zee/Zoey kitties

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I'm MORE THAN WILLING to arrange for that Leonardo destuffing, for sure. MOUSES!

      Delete
  2. Seville, that seems pretty legit to me!! That Leonardo fellow who's not a dude couldn't possibly be a scam artist!! I think I'd know!! MOL xxx

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    Replies
    1. Yup, you'd know for sure. Hehehehee... PURRS

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  3. ...or even salmon. MOUSES!!!

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  4. Mouses!!!
    Sending my info right now aparently I am related to some royal family....MOL!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are? MOUSES!

      Maybe WE'RE related, too! purrs

      Delete
  5. What? You never had 15 million? This all sounds a little suspect, Seville.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, once I realized 'bout that 'reimbursement' part, my hopes went downhill from there. MOUSES!

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  6. MOUSES indeed Seville! I think Leonardo has spent too much time rolling in the nip!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd like to try out a little of that nip, myself! purrs

      Delete
  7. When you get all that cash, can I borrow a few bucks for toys?
    The humans don't give me money...

    Noodle and crew

    ReplyDelete
  8. WE think Leonardo tried to make us rich too, but Mommy wasn't having any of it she said! MOL! (MOUSES!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That Leonardo fellow gets around, for sure. MOUSES!

      Delete
  9. Leonardo sure is a nice to help you out like that, Seville. Even if you never had 15 million. So confusing...

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    Replies
    1. I know! I KNOW! First he wants to be helpful and then... MOUSES!

      Delete
  10. Oh my GOODness you had me for a minut Seville, I thought you WERE rich!! Oh wow now THAT was a close shave MOL!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, glad I didn't fall for his tricks, for sure. MOUSES!

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  11. Well, at least I'm glad you figured that out before it was too late.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, BEFORE I told him I lived at 'my house' and stuff. MOUSES!

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  12. Sounds like a not dude not to be trusted,for sure. I mean he hasn't got Cat after his name or a title! Now about that loan..... purrs Erin TCP

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    Replies
    1. A loan, you say? Oh Peepers, I need that paperwork, stat. MOUSES!

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  13. Who is yur bookkeeper? Yoo had 15 million and dint even know it!! Whew! Don't you wundah what happened to that 15 mil? Me thinks this Leonardo is in kahoots with yur bookkeeper. So much for extra nip........~Sir William aka Willy

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    Replies
    1. Leonardo and the bookkeeper in cahoots? MOUSES!

      Delete
  14. Wow Seville! You must be really rich to have been scammed out of fifteen million dollars and never even noticed. That Leonardo must be a very thoughtful fellow to want to help you out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's true. When you don't miss the missing millions... MOUSES!

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  15. good for you for reading every single solitary word of that email and figuring it all out

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    Replies
    1. And it was a super-duper LONG e-mail, for sure. MOUSES!

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  16. Replies
    1. Yeah, fishy in a not-so-good kind of fishy way. purrs

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  17. Sorry Seville, you are rich in love at least.

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  18. My Mum got a text the other day to says she'd won a fortune in a British lottery. It was heaps of money, enough to buy cat treats for, well for ever.
    The trouble was they needed Mum's banking details to send her the money. And would you believe it? My Mum can't remember her banking details. She says she's sorry about the forever's worth of cat treats.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't you just hate it when that happens? When the peeps' memories jeopardize our treat supplies? MOUSES!

      Delete

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