Sunday, 23 November 2014

pet peeves

I don't know, Peepers. Can you?

Yup, that's what I said. That's what I said to the ol' peep when she asked me if she could sit on the chair upon which I, Nerissa the Cat, was already sittin'.  Her exact words were, "Can I sit there, Nissy?"

So I looked at the peep and answered, "I don't know, you got a sore tail or somethin'?  If your tail is sore, perhaps you can't sit on this here wooden chair.  You should go grab yourself a spot on the nice, soft and comfy chesterfield, in the family room."

She ignored me but not before pickin' me up off my office chair and plunkin' me down on the floor. MOUSES!

Now to be honest, I really should be givin' Ol' Peepers a bit of slack 'cause truth be told, she's just a peep.  Also, perhaps she really did wonder about her ability to disturb a cat who was clearly occupyin' the aforementioned chair.  I should give her some slack but I'm not gonna on account of the pickin' up and plunkin' down business that followed her question.  Her very poorly worded question.  Not to mention how she ignored me, afterwards.  She never did answer my question 'bout her havin' a sore tail, you know.

What's that Peepers?  What did you say?  FINE.

I have been informed by the peep that I must clarify that she does not actually have a tail. MOUSES!

You know, Peepers, you do sometimes have a pony tail stickin' out of the back of your head.  Not that you ever sit on that one, though.  Again I must say, MOUSES!

So anywho...  back to the peep and her ability to sit down in a chair.  Clearly she is capable of sittin' in one 'cause after she so rudely picked me up and plunked me down on the floor, she sat right down in that ol' chair, herself.  Once more for good measure?  Sure, why not?  MOUSES!

Peeps and their questions.  If they're gonna ask questions, they should word 'em correctly.  What Peep #1 should have asked me was, "May I sit there, Nissy?"  Yes, she should have been askin' for my permission to sit on this here chair.  The chair upon which I am currently sittin' as I write up today's blog post.

Now truth be told, had Peep #1 asked correctly, I probably would have said no.  I mean, I was already sittin' on the chair.  The chair was already occupied.

But if we're talkin' truths here, we had best discuss the likelihood that the peep would have ignored my response, picked me up and plunked me down on the floor, anyway.  After all, she never did answer my tail question, remember?  Of course you do.

You know, peeps can be very inconsistent.  Peep #1 has sat on the family room floor on more than one occasion so as not to disturb a certain kitty lying on the chesterfield.  Why she is incapable of sittin' on my office floor, is beyond me.  Perhaps I should apply for a government grant to study that phenomenon or somethin'.

Hmmm...  YEAH!  I think I'll put submittin' that application on my to-do list, for sure.

Anywho...  Back to Peep #1's inability to ask a question, properly, and my ability to lie on the chesterfield.

That's right, I like to lie on the chesterfield.  No, I'm not tellin' fibs.  I'm lyin' as in lyin' down on the chesterfield.  Different kind of lyin', for sure.

But have you ever noticed how peeps are always wanting to lay things about, includin' themselves?  Weird, huh? Yes, definitely weird.

Peeps are always talkin' about how they're gonna lay down.  Layin' down here and layin' down there.  What I wanna know is...  WHAT ARE THEY LAYING???

I mean, you lay somethin' else down but when you, personally, are lying down, you're lyin'.  You're not layin'! You can lay your head down, sure, but you lie down, yourself.  And others lie down, themselves, too.

Now, I might pad into the family room to find my brother Anderson lying on the chesterfield and that is exactly what he's doin'.  He's lyin' there.  He's not layin'...

OH MY MOUSES!  I just figured out what all those peeps layin' about are doin'.  THEY'RE LAYIN' EGGS!!!  Who knew?  This certainly does explain how the Easter Bunny is able to accumulate so many eggs every year at Easter.

But back to my brother, Andy, and his habit of lying on the chesterfield in the family room.

It's not a bad habit, I suppose.  I wouldn't call it a vice or anythin'.  Just somethin' he likes to do. I, myself, have been known to do the very same thing.  I enjoy lyin' on the chesterfield as much as the next cat.  In fact, just the other day...

Just the other day, I padded into the family room and Anderson said, "Hey Niss!  Why don't you hop up here on the chesterfield with me?"

As you can imagine, I didn't have to be asked twice.  Moments later, there we were, snuggled up on the chesterfield, together.  Peep #1 walked in and thought she'd join Anderson and me but there wasn't enough room on account of us maximising our powers of sprawlability.  The peep had to sit on the floor.  MOUSES!

You know, that reminds me of another pet peeve of mine.  The misuse of the words I and me.  You ever hear peeps do that?  I imagine that you have on account of those words bein' misused an awful lot.

Now I could joke about it but believe you me, this is no joking matter.  At this very moment, there are fingernails scraping against chalkboards that are soundin' funnier than the misuse of the words I and me.

Instead of makin' a joke, I'll let you in on a little secret.  You wanna know an easy way to figure out which word to use?  Just drop the other cat's name and then ask yourself if you would use I or me. Whichever word it is, will be the correct word to use when the other cat's name is added again.

Let's see...  Anderson and I were lyin' on the chesterfield.  We know this to be true 'cause I would say that I was lyin' on the chesterfield.  I would never say, me was.  But the peep wondered if she could sit next to Anderson and me.  That's right, me and NOT I.  Why?  'Cause I would never say that she wondered if she could sit next to I.  See how easy that is?  Easy as catchin' a mouse in a house and MUCH easier than ever catchin' that darned red dot.  That, my friends, is right up there with the most impossible of missions.  MOUSES!

So there you have it.  My three biggest pet peeves.

Hmmm...  You ever wonder if anyone out there has a pet named Peeves? You know, it would be pretty funny if someone did.  Hello there, I'd like to introduce you to my pet, Peeves. Hehehehehee...  I should get myself a pet mouse or somethin' and name him Peeves.

WHAT A GREAT IDEA!

Oh Peepers...  We need to go to the store.  I need a mouse house and a... uh...  um...  Well, I might as well just come right out and say it.  I need a mouse.  I need a mouse for my house and I'm gonna name him Peeves.

55 comments:

  1. Sheesh, when humans need grammar AND etiquette lessons from kitties, you know they are in trouble!

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    1. Oh yeah... Trouble, for sure. purrs

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  2. Peeves might be a good name if he or she liked petting!

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    1. I think mice like that. Don't you? purrs

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  3. Nissy, you hit the nail on the head with those three language pet peeves. Peeps can be so ignorant by the way they use those wrong words. I look forward to meeting your new pet, Peeves.

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    1. I'm lookin' forward to meetin' him, too. Wish Ol' Peepers here would hurry up and take me to the store. purrs

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  4. Peeps Pet Peeves!! MOL
    ^^^^^^

    Ahem! Nissy, maybe you'd like to take a run at addressing the thorny issue of when to use an apostrophe! ;)

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    1. It's a thorny issue, to be sure. Hmmm... You're not talkin' about my habit of shortenin' certain words with 'em, are you? Got my paws crossed those aren't the apostrophes in question 'cause, I do believe, those ones are perfectly legit. purrs

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  5. Dear Nissy.I can't wait to meet Peeves Mouses!!!Wonderful blog, as always.Love and purrs SheenaXXX

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    1. I'm purrin' and purrin' and purrin' and then, when I'm all done purrin', I'm gonna purr some more! purrs

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  6. WE have the same problem here. The darn peeps are always taking our chairs. There just isn't any reason why can't sit on the floor. What is the problem?? You all have a great day.

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    1. Hmmm... The problem appears to be more wide-spread than I realized. MOUSES! purrs

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  7. Is a Pet Peeve similar to a Pet Rock?...*paws off to ponder such a concept*

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    1. I don't know! I was just plannin' on gettin' a mouse and naming him Peeves. Never realized that there might actually be a species of peeves. MOUSES! purrs

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  8. Nissy...the me and I confusion is our Mom's #1 grammar pet peeve, When we started reading all about that lying and laying, she was thinking that maybe she should ask you to take on the I/me subject, and then bammo, there it was. Mom has been contemplating writing a post about just that but didn't want to piss anybody off. (Oops, we ended our sentence with a preposition.) Instead she sits and gnashes her teeth when she hears the two used incorrectly on the talking box or by individuals who are supposed to be educated. She gets a big kick out of you talking about the chesterfield 'cause she knows only old poops (that's right, poops not peeps) know that word and know you are talking about a couch, sofa. or davenport. (Yes, she is THAT old!) From our Mom's standpoint, this was a most excellent post. Now we will just say a little prayer that Santa Paws brings you a mouse and a mouse house. Peeves is the purrfect name for a mouse or a butler! XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

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    1. Your mum should come up north for a visit, sometime. The term chesterfield is still commonly used in some parts of Canada. I've heard that Chester Fields uses it a lot. MOUSES! purrs

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  9. I think a Pet named Peeves is a great idea. Please visit us if you have a naughty story to enter Phoebe's first contest.

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    1. Naughty, you say? Interestin'... I bet I can come up with a story of naughtiness, for sure. purrs

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  10. lol yeah that seems to go on here somewhat. With the chair the peep will just sit beside us until we are uncomfortable and then steal it when we move.

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    1. Sometimes Peep #1 will sit on the edge of the office chair until her tail falls asleep. Oh, that's right. Peep says I'm not supposed to insinuate that she has an actual tail. MOUSES! purrs

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  11. What's with these peeps? We would love to meet Peeves :)

    The Florida Furkids

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    1. Ol' Peepers says havin' a mouse as a pet in a house with ten cats is perhaps not the best of ideas. I don't know WHAT the woman is talkin' about. MOUSES! purrs

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  12. Well, lets get back to the point. You were rudely picked up and plonked on the FLOOR. Not placed on something nicely after you were displaced from your resting place *sigh*. If you get a mouse called peeve, I think somecat might eat him MOL!

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    1. I totally agree. The point of this whole post really is that I was so rudely plunked down on the floor. Peeps sure do know how to be rude. purrs

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  13. We hope we can remember this lesson on the proper use of some words sweet Nissy. She plopped you on the floor and you let her get by with that? Popsy puts me out of his chair and I hop back up in it before he can sit down. If you get that mouse and name it Peeves? We hope you blog about that mouse if you did. Hugs and nose kisses

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    1. Don't you ever worry that he might end up sittin' on you? What's your contingency plan? purrs

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  14. Well Nissy dat's purretty pawsum. Altho' me wefers to meez selff as me. MOL It's just da way me talks. Meez pet peeve word and mommy's too is irregardless. There ain't no such word. It goes along wiff dat 2 negatives and a pawsitiv fing. Mommy sez ifin enuff idiots out there use a word no matter how stupid or wrong it is, they eventually put it in da dictionawy. Anyways, sorry yous lost yous chair. Mommy dusn't ask, hers just picks us up and sits down and puts us in hers lap. Least we don't end up on da floor. MOL

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Lexi

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    1. Well... that's catspeak, I believe, and catspeak is a purrfectly acceptable, widely recognized language. Cats use catspeak all around the world! purrs

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  15. The humans clearly don't use the same rules of politeness with cats as they do with other humans. If another human would take your peeps of a chair and drop them on the ground, I'm sure hell would break loose.

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    1. You've got that right. You've got that right, for sure! purrs

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  16. Well Nissy, I'm a firm believer in "finders keepers, losers are the peepers" ! HAHA......peeps should learn their place and realize that if we are firmly ensconced in our choice of sitting arrangements they should leave well enough alone - always. As for grammer - my Mom and I are always using the wrong words but we feel like we get the point across.....somehow.....but we do notice BIG boo boos and cringe I must admit - even in our OWN posts when we read them later.

    Hugs, Sammy

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    1. Losers are the peepers... LOVE THAT! purrs

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  17. HA! All this time we have been laying eggs, and I didn't even know it! BOL!
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

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    1. You've been layin' eggs? MOUSES! Ummm... Has the Easter Bunny been in contact, yet? purrs

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  18. That was a good one Nissy and Mom needs to remember that. How about helping her with her terribly awfully bad habit of comma proliferation?

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    1. Hmmm... I'm not sure if I can help with the commas, or not. I tend to use a lot of 'em, myself. In fact, I'm usin' quite a few, here! Why not? THEY'RE FREE! purrs

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  19. MOL ! We love the name "Peeves" hi hi ! We would love to meet that pet ! Purrs

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    1. Peep #1 is tellin' me that havin' a pet mouse in a house with ten cats is maybe not such a great idea. I'm still workin' on her, though. purrs

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  20. We like that, a pet called Peeves!

    Moe
    Mindy
    Cookie
    Mike

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    1. I think the name is kind of catchy, you know? purrs

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    1. Sure is! Especially for a pet. purrs

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  22. peeps are always getting these things wrong Nissy,its good to be back home,xx Speedy

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    1. I bet it is! You were gone for a long time but I bet you had LOTS of fun! purrs

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  23. You sure are good at grammar, Nissy! Perhaps we need to hire you to proofread our blog. MOL! Thanks for the lesson! And we definitely agree with everything you said - poor grammar is a pet peeve of ours too!!!

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  24. Pet peeves! We get it...
    Have a great Thanksgiving!

    Noodle and crew

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    1. Unfortunately, I'm havin' a little difficulty convincin' the peep I need a pet mouse. purrs

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  25. Grammar sure can be complicated...what would your Peep do without you, Nissy? Aren't office chairs the best...I don't know why the humans can't type from the floor like you mentioned...great post Nissy!

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    1. They are the best, those office chairs. Gotta get the peep to get one for herself instead of usin' mine. purrs

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  26. Holy Moleys! Lying peeps who are laying eggs, what's this world coming to?

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    1. Whatever it is, it might not be good. Imagine when all those eggs hatch. MOUSES! purrs

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    2. Nissy! Nissy! Nissy! You continue to outdo yourself. You hit the nail on the head - three of Grammy's biggest pet peeves. Now you've got us wanting to adopt a mouse and we don't mean a computer mouse or a Cat named Mouse - they're already here.. A grammar lesson done in the nicest of ways.

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    3. You're gonna adopt a mouse? NICE! Are you gonna name him Peeves? purrs

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  27. Perfect. Just perfect! (and you made me smile after a craptastic day, so thank you!)

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    1. You're so very welcome! I'm purrin' super hard that your day tomorrow, will be much better. purrs

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