Well they're not so much new as... hmmm... uh... different. Yeah, different. Different from what they were before.
You see, we used to have these three big ol' cedar thingies in the front yard, right up by the house. Bit by bit, Ol' Peepers has been gettin' rid of 'em and finally, last week, the peeps had someone come over and take away the roots. They're gone now. Outta here. Never to be seen again.
Truth be told, I was sorry to see the cedars goin', at first. I loved those cedars. As a kitten, I used to play in those cedars and hang out in them, waitin' for Peep #1 to come out and talk to me and say nice things to me and teach me how to play with nip mice and whatnot.
That was when I was still livin' outside with my mama and fur-sibs. When I was still feral but beginnin' to learn that my Peep #1 wasn't evil or anythin'. Good times. I remember them like they were yesterday even though they were actually eleven years ago.
Anywho... Since Ol' Peepers took like... A YEAR to get rid of the cedars completely, I've had plenty of time to get used to the idea. In fact, in the past few months, I've been quite anxious for the beds to be cleared out properly. They were lookin' pretty messy with half a cedar, here, and a quarter of one, there. It was embarrassing. Nosey-neighbour-cat didn't have partial cedars scattered around at his house. He was mockin' me over the whole affair. "You've got messy cedars... You've got messy cedars..." he would taunt.
Then last Friday, the last of the cedars' bits and pieces were removed and the upper bed was free from all plants and the soil, levelled off. The lower bed still had some stuff like honeysuckle in it but in the biggest corner where the third cedar had been, it was all cleared out. Those beds were lookin' pretty good. They were ready for plantin'.
Of course, my first reaction to the beds was... NIP! The peep is gonna plant us up a nice big ol' nip garden right here in the front yard, I thought. I was gettin' really excited about the idea.
Mason felt otherwise. She took one look at those new beds and cried, "Our new loo!" She pranced and she danced as only a Mason will do. She hopped right in there and started diggin'.
I tried to explain to Mason that these were flower beds and not a big ol' loo. Then I got to thinkin'. Maybe it was our new loo. We lost our old one when Mason was supposed to be supervisin' the peep and allowed Ol' Peepers to plant it up with primroses.
And if these beds were meant as the new loo, it was a way better loo than the previous one. Upper and lower levels. Very spacious. Nice, soft earth free from plants and whatnot that would only get in our way. "Wow!" I exclaimed to Mason. "I think you're right about this. Ol' Peepers has built us a deluxe model loo. EXCELLENT."
I was bettin' the peep built the new loo in order to celebrate the publishing of my 300th blog post which, by the way, is this here post I'm publishin', today. A super-duper, deluxe model, multi-level, brand-spankin' new loo would be a great way to celebrate that, for sure.
Long story short, by nightfall, several of us had used the new loo as... well... a loo. I happened to use it myself. Biggest outdoor litter box I had ever seen, much less used.
The next mornin', I was informed by the peep that the super-duper, deluxe model, multi-level, brand-spankin' new loo was not, in fact, a loo but rather, a couple of flower beds. MOUSES!
But all was not lost 'cause if it wasn't the best outdoor litter box that ever-there-was, it would still make a really nice nip bed. Ah.... nip. The glorious plant that is the nip. Flower beds that size would hold a whole whack of nip plants, I thought to myself. Life was good.
That's about when I saw that the peep had some newly purchased tulip and hyacinth bulbs. "What are you gonna do with those?" I asked her.
"You're gonna what?" I cried. MOUSES!
You guessed it, Ol' Peepers was intendin' on plantin' the tulips and hyacinths in my nip bed. Right there in my nip bed. MY nip bed. My NIP bed. My bed meant for nip. Not only that, there was talk of delphiniums and phlox, too.
I fired up the ol' computer and did a quick search for catnip. I pulled up some pictures and showed 'em to the peep sayin', "Now look here, Peepers. THIS is what nip looks like." Then I pointed to some pictures of tulips and said, "See those? Those aren't nip plants. Those are tulips. Now look over here. Hyacinths. Repeat after me... hi-ya-sinths, Not nip."
Needless to say, the peep was not impressed by my lessons in horticulture. At least not favourable, anyway.
Bottom line is, the loo is not a loo and the nip beds are not for nip. They're for flowers. Flowers that are not nip. MOUSES!