Ol' Peepers was headin' out in the car. I think she was goin' to the grocery store or somethin'. Probably to buy me some treats 'cause... you know... I've been such a very good kitty as of late.
Anywho... as she was backin' up the car, she spotted something in the rear-view mirror. It was a big something. A way bigger than a cat something. Besides, she knew that all of us kitties were accounted for 'cause she always checks on such things before starting up the car, you see. What she saw was a black and white something. Kind of like a tuxedo cat only bigger. Much bigger.
Whatever the something was, it was no longer in her line of sight so she backed up a bit and turned around in the turnin' around spot of the driveway which has been gettin' smaller and smaller, with each snowstorm of the season but I digress. That was about when the peep's curiosity got the best of her - 'cause she's part cat, you see, and cats are naturally curious - and she got out of the car to investigate. I think she kind of knew what it was she had seen but wanted to verify the facts. Unfortunately, there was nothin' to see.
So she got back in the car and pulled forward to the end of the driveway. She looked this way and that way but the big black and white somethin' that looked a little like a tuxedo cat but was way too big to be any kind of cat was nowhere to be seen. She pulled onto the road, turning right and then at the stop sign, she turned right again and that's when she saw it. That's when she saw the big black and white somethin' or other walkin' alongside a man. She recognised them immediately.
Ol' Peepers drove along the road, slowly, waitin' to see what she thought she would see. Sure enough, the man and the big black and white somethin' or other turned into a driveway exactly where she expected them to turn. All at once, she knew what had happened. The mystery had been solved.
It turned out that the man is a neighbour of sorts. Not a next door kind of neighbour but rather, a neighbour from a few houses away. And the big black and white somethin' or other that looked like a tuxedo cat but was way too big to actually be a cat? Well, that was their dog. The peep knew she sort of recognised that black and white furry ruffian. He has been in my garden before. Never invited, mind you, but definitely has been spotted on an occasion or two. MOUSES!
All the way to the grocery store, the peep thought about what she had seen. "Where had that dog been?" she asked herself. Well the answer was simple, really. The dog had not been in my backyard. Had he or she - we don't actually know which - been in the backyard, Ol' Peepers would have seen him or her when exiting the house through the backdoor. Had the dog been in the driveway as the peep approached the car, she would have seen the dog then. Clearly, the dog must have come along the path that joins the front door and veranda to the driveway. Just a matter of lookin' at all the facts and makin' some deductions, really. Elementary, my dear readers... elementary.
The mystery was solved. Now don't get me wrong, the peep wasn't thrilled that the dog had been in my yard in the first place. On the contrary, she was far from bein' thrilled. Annoyed would be more like it but at least the mystery had been solved.
Now fast forward to later that day.
That evenin', Peep #2 informed my first peep of a little somethin' found on the veranda that afternoon. Accordin' to the second peep, one of us cats must have pooped on the veranda. What? NEVER! We cats are all well potty trained. Well... litter box trained, if you know what I mean. Actually, a few of us do like usin' the great outdoors but we ALWAYS bury the evidence and would never ever consider just squattin' out on the veranda and doin' our business there. We're all exceptionally civilised cats, you see.
Now I will admit, a couple of us have been fooled by the snow factor. You see, if you do your business in the snow and cover it up with more snow, when the snow melts... well... the evidence is revealed. But that was not the case here.
Peep #1 checked and, sure enough, there were two big dollops of somethin' somewhat unmentionable on the veranda. They were in a spot where there was no snow and therefore, could never have, at any time, been covered with the white stuff. Also, they appeared to be fresh. MOUSES!
I grabbed my long coat, hat and pipe - just kiddin', I don't smoke so I don't own a pipe - and headed outdoors to investigate further. Yup, yup... uh-huh, uh-huh... Fresh. Big. Too big for a cat. More like... More like dog sized, I deduced. I sniffed the air and knew at once. I knew at once that the two dollops had, in fact, been left by a dog. How could I tell? Why, I could tell by the smell! "MOUSES!" I cried. "A dog has done his business on my veranda!"
And my Peep #1 knew at once exactly who that dog had been. Clearly, it was the dog she had spotted when leavin' for the grocery store, earlier that day. What are the odds that in the interim, a second dog had been there as well? Those would be pretty high odds, indeed.
Of course, our evidence is merely circumstantial. That's why I'm tryin' to convince the peep to send the evidence off to a DNA lab to have it tested. DNA testing will prove, once and for all, exactly who deposited the you-know-what on my doorstep. I've just gotta convince the peep to package it up and send it off to the lab. I'd take the stuff myself but it's dirty and I don't wanna mess up my teleportation device. Evidence of that sort can be kind of stinky, if you know what I mean. Kind of icky. Yup, best to leave dealin' with stuff like that to the peeps.