Wednesday, 24 July 2013

special news bulletin

We interrupt our regularly scheduled postings for this late breaking news...   I AM NOW FANGLESS.  MOUSES!

Our story begins, Monday morning.  There I was, mindin' my own business when peep #1 scooped me up into her arms, rudely and unceremoniously shoved me in a carrier, put both me and the carrier into the car and drove off with us.  I thought I was bein' catnapped or something!  And I could understand why someone might want to catnap me but, to be honest, why anyone would catnap the carrier was a mystery.

It wasn't long before we got to the hospital.  The parking lot was empty, which was odd.  The parking lot at the hospital is usually full.  It's usually full of cars being used to bring cats and dogs for their appointments.  Once, I even saw one bein' used to bring in a bird!  Yup, it's true...  totally.  I heard him squawk and everything.

Then I got to thinking.  Hmmm...  the parking lot is only ever this empty during emergency hours or early in the morning before the appointments of the day begin.  I knew I wasn't bein' taken in for an emergency or anything like that 'cause I wasn't sick.  That left...  that left...  Oh no!  MOUSES!  That left patient intake before surgeries.  Not this again!  NOT MORE KNEE SURGERY! 

"My knee is fine!" I cried out to the peep.  "Honest to goodness, it is," I told her.  "Here, look...  I'll even do some little plies to prove it to you," I offered.  "Ouch!" and I rubbed the newly-forming bump on the top of my head.  Note to self...  never do plies in an enclosed carrier.  Not enough room in carriers for dancin' and whatnot.  Must remember that for future reference.

Truth be told, I should have known those peeps were up to something, the night before.  They were behaving oddly, Sunday night.  Yes, even more oddly than usual, if you can believe it.  Everyone was gettin' everything done that needed to be done, so that we could all sit down and watch a little Masterpiece Theatre together.  Nothin' like a little Masterpiece Theatre with the peeps.  A full hour and a half of tummy rubs and chin tickles with no commercial interruptions. 

Anywho...  It was just before eight Sunday evening when peep #1 opened a tin of Fancy Feast and emptied the entire tin on a plate, just for me.  Yeah...  I was getting the whole tin!  I couldn't believe my eyes.  I thought I must have died and gone to Heaven.  I never get a whole tin of the Fancy Feast, all at once.  I should have known...

I should have known those peeps were up to something, that's what.  Sure enough, they were.  Sittin' in that carrier and rubbing my smarting head with a paw, I realised right there and then what their devious plan had been.  Those peeps had been givin' me a super-duper supper that would fill me up so that I wouldn't be hungry and expect a midnight snack or somethin'.  When you're havin' surgery in the morning, you're not allowed to eat anything after eight the night before, you see.  They were making sure I had a full tummy going into the night.  What evil deceitfulness on their part, I thought.  MOUSES!

Okay, you're probably thinking that the peeps were trying to be nice by making sure I had a really good meal before I had to stop eating for the night.  I suppose there is a certain amount of truth to that opinion but it doesn't change the fact that there I was, sittin' in a carrier, headin' in for some sort of surgery that I surely did not want to have.

The peep carried me into the hospital and signed some papers and stuff.  I looked at her, forlornly.  I trembled as best as I could in the limited space of the carrier.  Didn't want to tremble too much and bump my head again, though.  I let out a little mew.  "Please peepers...  please...." I begged.  "Please don't leave me now!"

Ol' peepers said something 'bout loving me and that she would be back to pick me up before suppertime.  Then she left.

I awoke to hear Nurse Janice on the telephone with the peep.  She was sayin' that I was sound asleep, all wrapped up in a blanket like a little burrito.  A burrito!  A burrito?  Well...  I bet I did look pretty darned cute all wrapped up like that with the blankie keeping me all warm and toasty.  Then I drifted back off to sleep 'cause havin' surgery is a really exhausting thing.

Sure enough, the peeps came to get me as planned.  I was pretty annoyed with them and considered giving them both the cold shoulder but decided not to do so...  this time.  I was too drugged up on the pain meds to be givin' anyone any of my shoulders. 

I was a little wobbly on my paws Monday night and needed all my powers of concentration to keep my balance so again, no cold-shoulderin' of the peeps was possible.  I did manage to eat my supper, though.  As luck would have it, I was served another whole tin of Fancy Feast which, I admit, was awfully good.  Plus, I was pretty hungry by then.  Hadn't eaten all day, you see. 

Feeling much better on Tuesday morning, I hopped up onto the bathroom sink.  That was when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.  Something was wrong...  Something was missing...  MY FANGS WERE MISSING!   I informed the first peep that search parties must be formed and dispatched, immediately.  Someone had stolen my fangs!

That was when she told me.  Peep #1 said that my two fangs had not passed inspection at my last check-up and needed to be pulled.  My doctor thought they might be hurting me and continue to do so if not dealt with in an expedient and efficient manner.  My doctor did what she could to keep my lower tuskers so that I would keep my good looks and everything but my upper fangs were gone.  Gone....  Gone.  Gone for good.

I'm hopin' the peep kept my fangs for me.  Once I'm feeling completely back to my ol' self, I want to put 'em under my pillow.  I figure they've got to be good for a few tins of Fancy Feast and maybe a bag or two of treats.  Oohhh... and if I'm really lucky, maybe some nip!

52 comments:

  1. Oh, Nissy... no... we are so sorry that your fangs were taken away. Hisses to them¡

    Although, we do hope this means you aren't hurting anymore.

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  2. Oh my friend, I am so sorry you had to lose your fangs but you sure should feel lots better. Hugs from all of us!

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  3. Never a dull moment, Nissy. Good thing you got back in time from your time travel escapade to Zealandia with Dash and Samantha. Or maybe you wish you hadn't........

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  4. Oh noes! You has gone from being tough and ruthless to ......

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  5. oh geez......that just isn't nice. Tim lost most of his teeths, but at least he got to keep his fangs!!

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  6. Oh no! The Toof Fairy owes you, BIG TIME. Stran has had his fangs out, and copes very well without them. No one asked him if he wanted to part with them either. Humans, eh ? But he does love giving Äiti a really good gumming! Try it.

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  7. MOUSES indeed. Both no less. We send mega puuurrs. Our Gris Gris is fangless and it has not impacted him in anyway.

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  8. Oh noes, Nissy!!!
    We hope you're feeling better.
    Put one under your pillow and turn the other into a necklace.
    ; ) Katie

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  9. Oh no! Sorry you lost your fangs...

    Purrs xx

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  10. Oh no! Not your fangs! I hope it has made you feel better though.

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  11. Poor Nerissa, dental surgeries suck for all eternity, but guess what? You can do just fine without your fangs and without them you won't be getting any more trouble from them. I have no teef at all and I can still give shrews and mousies the gummy death and eat up all my food too.

    Sending you rumbly purrs for being so brave

    Gerry (and Mungo)

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  12. Pee Ess: If your peep got to save your fangs they could be made into a cute collar accessory if you wear a collar, or be mounted and take pride of place in your peep's sitting room hehe!

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  13. OMG! No Fangs? But you're a cat you're supposed to have fangs!
    But do you feel more comfortable?feel better soon Nissy,xx Speedy

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  14. Oh dear, what an atrocity! How on earth will you be able to give your peeps love bites!!! Blessings to your recovery! Me-Ommmmmm

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  15. Oh noooz !
    So sorry to hear that your fangs had to go :(
    Me too hope your peeps have saved them for you in a little box until you feel better :)
    XOOX

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  16. Oh No, not your fangs. Our Nin lost one fang in a similar way, but he is dumb and doesn't remember. Hope you are feeling all better soon! Lee and Phod

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  17. At least they left your bottom fangs alone. ;)

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  18. OMC, they tricked you, when you feel better which we hope is real soon, there better be a WHOLE thuna under your pillow xx00xx

    Mollie and Alfie

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  19. I'm sorry to hear about your fangs.. but I'm sure you'll be feeling better once they heal.

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  20. The Kitty Tooth Fairy owes you BIG time, Nerissa!

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  21. Oh My Catness Nissy your fangies!
    Well my furend it may be that, in the long run, you will be feeling much better. This really can prevent problems so I know your peeps love you as much as my Dad loves us.
    And let me tell ya.
    When I came to live here my cat-mate was Inky. He was already like 21. Amazing right. Well he had NO teeth at all! Dad said they never caused any problem and had fallen out except for one which the vet got. Well you should have seen good old Inky chow down on the kibble and treats. Crunch crunch crunch. Funny. Then Coco moved in a few years later and he was hairless, and, toothless. Meow. He went crunch crunch crunch too.
    MOL
    Hope you get a nice gift from the tooth kitty.
    Your pal Timmy

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  22. Oh sweetie! We'll hope your fangs are somewhere in safe keeping and though you might feel bad now, we bet you'll feel great very soon. Plus, FANCY FEAST! Purrs...

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  23. Sorry for the loss of your fangs ! But Mum said that it could hurt badly or give you an awful stinky breath if your teeth are damaged. We hope that the Tooth Fairy will be generous with nip and treats !

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  24. dood...ewe got that rite...ANY time mor food iz offered... itza sure sign sum thin aint rite in de ball park... even if de ball parkz closed.... coz itz like winter, N therz 4 feet oh snow on de ground N de outside tempachurez like -3....

    we hope ya got ta call de pizza place this time N yes pleez due put yur fangs under de pillow; ya mite knot get feast, treets, ore nip.....BUT ITZ DE LAW ....EWE HAFTA GET $$$$$$$

    use a lee like looze 50's and 100's

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  25. Oh no, the indignity! We hope they kept the fangs for you--they should be worth a CASE of Fancy Feast or more.

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  26. Aww! I hope the tooth fairy leaves you lots of tuna heheh!

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  27. TW wishes I didn't have my fangs cos I can and do bite hard. Sending healing purrz your way.

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  28. We're sending you lots of healing hugs!! Hope you get lovely pressies from the Kitty Tooth Fairy!!! Take care
    x

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  29. OH NO NISSY! Not your fangs? Oh no. Poor boy. If they were trying to hurt you then I understamd why they had to go, but oh my. Lots of pawhugs Nissy. xxxooo

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  30. What a tragedy. We definitely think some nip is in order…purely in the medicinal sense, mind you. We see you're not smiling today, Nissy. We really do hope you are not embarrassed by those missing toofs; though, it does make it hard to intimidate the peeps or your housemates. We'll be purraying for your quick recovery. Purrs and hugs, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

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  31. Sounds to me like your endured this humiliation like a champ. Hope there are many cans of Fancy Feast to come!

    Pat
    Critter Alley

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  32. Nissy, our Jack had some fangs out. He's all good ( but milk the teef under the pillow thing for all its worth buy!!)

    Dash

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  33. We hope the Fang Fairy comes and gives you lots of treats, Nissy.

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  34. They stole WHAT! Dear Cod! What is this world coming to? What is a cat without his fangs?! They might as well steal your boy bits. Oh, wait . . .

    (We're glad it all went well and we're purring for a smooth adjustment.)

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  35. Oh wow. I was supposed to have two teefs pullt, but my Mom said I am too o-l-d for an-a-steeja. That means I keep them. :)

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  36. Nerissa, I'm so sorry about your fangs and hope you feel better very soon. I also hope you get lots of FF, treats and nip! Take care and hopefully the peeps will cater to your every whim!

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  37. aiiieeeee!!! Nissy!!! I can't believe it! Peep#1 let the bad place steal your mancat fangs!!! NOES!!! How will you ever be able to bit off the nip again????...sigh...bummer...and I thought we would still try to find that lost nip so's I could have a little taste...too bad...hope you feel better buddy, paw hugs, Savvy

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  38. Oh dear Cod, Nissy! What an OUTRAGE! But you know what?? After my hideous little anal gland abscess operation, the blond lady said to the Human sumfing about my teefs and how in the next year sometime I had to "have a dental" and I am afraid the word "extraction" may have been uttered. I'm not really sure because by then I was busy poopin' up a storm in my carrier so the whole convo kinda got cut short and so far nuffing much has happened.

    Well, as long as you could still hoover up your Fancy Feast, I guess it doesn't matter toooooooo much.

    But STILL! An outrage!

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  39. I bet if you put them under your pillow you would get some great stuff!! Sorry to hear about all that your peeps have yet again put you through, I bet they even used the "it's for your own good" line?!

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  40. Oh Nissy sorry about your fangs. Another reason to hate going to the blood stealers. We hope you are back to your old self now. Have a tremendous Thursday.
    Best wishes Molly
    & demand more Fancy Feasts.

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  41. Oh my goodness! De-fanged? How COULD she??? I guess if they were "going bad" it was a good thing to get them out but it must feel pretty weird not having them. A guy gets used to his fangs (and other parts). Well, if it means more treats then that's good and certainly if your peep saved those fangs, the Tooth Fairy SHOULD be either bringing you some MORE treats or money or SOMETHING. After all, you deserve something in exchange for those fangs!

    Kitty Hugs, Sammy

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  42. I'll just bet the Fang Fairy comes to visit you VERY soon, Nerissa! But it must feel VERY weird not having them ... don't worry, you'll soon get used to it. In the meantime ... (whispers) milk this for ALL it's worth!

    Purrz my furriend!
    Selina

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  43. Good that your pet dentist took care of your painful teeth. You can eat good food still, Nerissa. You'll be fine even without those fangs. Meows...

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  44. oh how pawful about your toofies - but peep only doing what needs to be done - I gets my teef looked at too - my sisfur had 2 pulled recently

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  45. Oh Nissy I should play this one for all it's worth!!!! Just think you could have a whole tin of Fancy Feast every day like forever!!!! But they could've told you! that was a bit underpaw!!!

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  46. Sorry to hear your fangs hadda come out, hope you will feel better soon, Nissy. Yes, don't forget to put those fangs under yer pillow and leave a list of the yummies you'd like to get in compensation.

    Mindy
    Moe
    Cookie
    Mik

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  47. Must admit the sleepy medicine is nice..even though it makes you see rainbows and makes your legs go all wobbly.
    The REAL Maple Syrup Mob
    xxxxx

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  48. Hi Nissy I am sorry about your toothies as Shorty called them. Did you know when he was getting his adult fangs in he had his baby fangs too? Yep he was scheduled to get neutered at 6 months & if his baby fangs didn't fall out the vet was going to pull them!
    Came night before surgery I looked there they were side by side!
    I thought I'd get his baby toothies after all.
    That morning I looked they were GONE!!!!
    BUT he was still scheduled to be fixed.
    You still look handsome to me Nissy
    Hugs Shorty's mom

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  49. Are you sure you weren't nibbling on the humans' toes at night and that's why your fangs are now missing?

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  50. Hi Buddy! Sorry we've been a little scarce--the Human says she's been all "busy" but I think that's just ridiculous.

    I hope your mouf is feeling all better!! The food still tastes nommy, right??

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  51. Oh, no, Nissy! They stole your fangs????!!!!! I should make an official complaint to the Pawlice right away! And we think maybe you should SUE them, too! We know a good lawyer (heh heh heh). Don't settle for anything less than two Fancy Feasts a day for the next fifteen years!

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