Sunday, 26 May 2013

hey... I'm so cool

Hey...  I'm so cool.  I look so cool in these shades.  Everyone says so, so it must be true.  Right?

Actually, they're not really shades.  They're goggles.  Now that I've got a pair of goggles...  I need a motorcycle!

But all joking aside, these goggles are special goggles.  They're special hospital equipment goggles.  I wore them when I had my laser treatments on my leg.  Bet you thought they were photo shopped or something, huh?  Nope, they're the real deal.  I was really wearing 'em.

After havin' my knee surgery, my doctor recommended that I undergo laser treatments.  The laser was supposed to make my knee heal faster and I think it kind of worked 'cause I'm feelin' pretty good.  I wanna jump and run and play but ol' peepers won't let me do anything too strenuous.  She has no idea how bored I am.  I keep tellin' her but my complaints seem to go in one ear and right out the other.  I don't think there's anything between those two ears of hers.  Otherwise, why wouldn't she be listenin' to me?  And not just listening.  She should be doing something about it!

I do, however, have some concerns about these laser treatments.

When I first heard the word laser, I immediately thought about starships on television battling it out in some futuristic war.  I was a little worried.  The peep reassured me that the laser my doctor was gonna use was not a weapon but rather, a medical instrument made for healing.  Whew!  That was a close one.

But then I got to thinking about all those advertisements on television.  Advertisements for laser treatments.  It didn't take me long to realize that a whole whack of those laser treatments bein' advertised were for hair removal.  Hair removal?  HAIR REMOVAL!!!  Hair is like fur and my fur is not needin' to be removed!

Peep #1 said, "No, no, no...  don't worry.  You won't be having that kind of laser treatment."  That's what she said but I'm not so sure 'bout what happened. 

Have you seen my leg?  I've got a moused-up poodle cut.  It's true.  Just look at the pictures!

The peep says that the fur on my leg was shaved for my surgery but how do I know that that's true?  How do I know that my missing fur is not actually due to these laser treatments?  How do I know that my fur will grow back?  Laser hair removal is supposed to be a permanent thing.  And by permanent I'm not talking 'bout getting curls.  No, I'm talkin' about never getting my fur back.  My beautiful sterling silver tabby fur! 

This is a really big deal.  I can't go through the rest of my life with a poodle cut.  Sure, poodle cuts look fine on poodles.  They might even look great on poodles.  But I'm not a poodle.  I'm a cat!  I'm Nerissa the Cat and the poodle look is just not for me.

Then, the other day, I caught a glimpse of my back in the mirror.  What did I find?  I found more missing fur.  I have two patches of missing fur on my back.  I immediately went to the peep and demanded an explanation.

The peep says that the nurses shaved off two patches of fur on my back for my surgery.  One was for the anaesthetic while I was havin' the surgery and the other was for my pain patch that I wore after the surgery.  I do vaguely remember the pain patch business.  I vaguely remember managing to escape the cone of shame for the third time and yanking off some funny bandage thingy that was annoying me to no end.  It was in my way and pulling at my fur.  The peep says that my pain patch was under that bandage.  But after I yanked it all off, the peep threw out the pain patch so she has no physical proof that there ever was one.  And even though I vaguely remember it, I was pretty doped up on the pain meds so I'm not sure that I can trust my memory.  It could have all been a dream.

The only real evidence I have is the fact that I underwent six laser treatments and I have fur missin' on three parts of my body.  I'm connecting a lot of dots here and I'm not likin' the picture those connected dots are forming.

The peep must fancy herself to be a comedian or something 'cause when I was confronting her with my evidence, she said, "They also use laser treatments to remove wrinkles."  Wrinkles?  WRINKLES!!!  I don't have any wrinkles and even if I did, my fur would cover 'em up.  That is if I had any fur left to cover 'em!  MOUSES!

And something else happened when I was unconscious during my surgery.  They gave me a mani-pedi.  That's right...  a mani-pedi.

I never signed up to have my nails done but when I awoke, my claws had absolutely no sharp points.  Not a one.  The indignity of it all!  My peeps never clip my claws.  Never!  I can care for my claws, myself, than you very much.  But there can be no denying the fact that my claws were clipped.  They're dull as dull can be.  Well...  actually...  they were dull.  I've been sharpening 'em up.  It's a lot of work but it has to be done.  Claws are meant to be sharp and that's all there is to it.

I suppose I should just be thankful that they didn't paint 'em or something.  All I need is four pawfuls of hot pink claws.  I know I look cool wearin' the goggles and everything but a pink mani-pedi just isn't gonna enhance that look. 

It's such a dilemma.  I actually quite suit the colour pink.  It goes so well with my nose.  Pink also looks good with my fur.  Sterling silver and pink are a winning combination, you know. 

But I'm a mancat and even though mancats can wear pink I'm not sure that mancats with girls' names should wear it.  It's too confusing for the peeps, you see.  Peeps are so very easily confused.  How else does one explain that I'm a mancat with a girls' name and a poodle cut?  And all that needs some explaining, for sure.

46 comments:

  1. Oh Nissy, you do look cool in those goggles. I bet your hair will grow back. Cat's hair is very strong and will come flying back. Sending lots of purrs to ya, that the leg gets better soon.

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  2. I am surprised you kept them on long enough for a photo, let alone for some laser treatments! But they do look very cool. Motorcycle, here comes Nissy!

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  3. it will come back Nissy if it helps at all I have a bald patch on my nose cause I'm Shedding at the moment,xx Speedy

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  4. The goggles look very cool. Healing purrs to you. Hope your leg gets better soon xx

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  5. We heard that macho mancats often wear pink to charm the ladies. Your furs will grow back soon and we hope your leg will be feel much better too.
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

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  6. Get well soon Nerissa ! You look pretty cool in your goggles ; you know, celebrities often wear sun goggles too... Purrs. Loupi and Zorro

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  7. Woah! Laser treatment goggles. Respect! But pink and a poodle cut - noooooo!

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  8. I agree with Marg, you do look way cool in the goggles. I am glad you are doing better pal, your fur will grow back, my Dad's will not MOL!

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  9. This is VERREH suspicious!

    We say go for a mani/pedi with black! it's were in this season.

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  10. Wow, Nissy, you have really been messed with! At least you got some cool goggles out of the bargain.

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  11. We hope you hair grows back. We think you look really cool in the goggles. Lee and Phod

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  12. It is seriously wrong to steal fur when you are asleep. That's criminal, I think. I also think it's criminal to steal the sharp ends off your nails. Is there somebody you can complain to? Do we know a lawyer, or a really big dog that loves kittehs that could take a bite out of this crime and get you justice?

    By the way, you look really cool in your googles.

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  13. I like your goggles. I want a pair the same, but I don't want my fur lasered away. I am glad your leg is doing well.

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  14. Ahh Buddy, you look cool in those glasses - now I want a pair too. But, I'll skip the lazer treatment tho - that doesn't sound like fun. Hope it makes you all better.

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  15. I want some of those goggles! However I do not want them if I have to go throught what you had to to get them.

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  16. Wow, your a super star and wez hopes you get'z better real soon.. All those lovely furs will soon grow'z back :) xxxx

    http://www.molliesdogtreats.co.uk/ourshop/

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  17. Wow there Nissy you weally do look cool in your shades and don't worry your fur will grow out faster than you think however Juliet and me fink you should makes de human feel guilty about this abuse of your previously purrfect fur for a while longer and maybe get some more cool stuff! Purrs & Paw Waves

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  18. Oh wow!! All you need is a Harley Davidson and a faux leather jacket and a totally fabulous pink pedicure!! Oh yes!! :-)

    Awww we just know your beautiful furrs will grow lush and lovely soon! Take care
    x

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  19. I think you look adorable in those goggles and yes yes your fur will grow back! No worries!

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  20. Dood, You look AWESOME in those goggles! They should give you a pair to keep! (BTW, I cannot say the same for a bucnh of Humans in a movie theater. The Humans went to see Star Trek in 3-D yesterday and the whole theater was full of Humans with stoopid looking glasses on. I wish I'd seen that for myself--the Human said they looked the opposite of awesome.)

    I sooooo sympathize. While my hideous stabby-place experience was nowhere near as difficult and complicated as yours. I *was* knocked the hell out for my abscess to be drained and subjected to the INDIGNITY of once again having my nether-parts shaved (that fur took FOREVER to grow back in after my tutoring last August and now it's GONE again!!), AND they clippy-clawed me too when I was unconscious and could not fight back. What cowards those people are, don't you think?? If they tried something like that while we were AWAKE and could fight back, well, it mighta been a whole different story, Buddy. MOUSES!!!

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  21. Nissy, Yous puts the MAN in Man Cat! And no matter what they has done to yous, Yous IS the MAN!!!
    Kisses
    Your Ardent Admirer
    Nellie

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  22. I'm so jealous of you Nissy I would love a pair of thos goggles. How long before you are going to be allowed to resume normal activities like jumping and doing zoomies? xxx's

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    Replies
    1. Another THREE weeks! MOUSES!!!

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  23. Oh Nissy, I dunno why they do that to us!!?? Why do they put us to sleep and then give us a haircut in the most embarrassing places. I went to sleep one time and they'd removed nearly my whole tuxie front!!! Nearly ALL of it!! I couldn't go out in public for weeks!

    You hang in there buddy. Remember, you are not a poodle, ok?

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  24. Those goggles are just cool. We hope each day you get better and stronger and no worries your furs will grow back in no time. Have a marvellous Monday.
    Best wishes Molly

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  25. Nissy, that new/improved knee of yours looks quite good! The hair really will grow back and while I understand your concern over the word "LASER" being bandied about I think it's "LASER" in a GOOD way. Seems you're healing up well anyway. The goggles are way cool and indeed all you need now is a motorcycle (maybe a pink one?) BUT the last thing you need is a bit of a tumble off a motorcycle. I think your wild man days are over - yep - I think you should settle comfortably into a life of semi-retirement...keeping an eye on the garden, making sure the other cats are carrying their load, just "chillin'" as we say.

    Kitty Hugs, Sammy

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  26. Gosh Nissy - Mom and I put a BIG LONG message in the box thingie but it disappeared so I'm trying again. I just wanted to say that you DO look quite cool in your goggles AND your newly repaired knee looks really good and almost back to normal. You better keep behaving yourself though and resting so you'll be able to get around just like you always did. That hair will grow back - meanwhile the "poodle trim" look is very "IN" this year in kitty fashion circles!

    Kitty Hugs, Sammy

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    Replies
    1. The first one was stuck in comment moderation, I think. I found it, though, so not to worry. purrs

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  27. Wow, the "futurist" look suits you Nerissa!

    PURRZ!
    Selina

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  28. Hey, Nissy! Those goggles are so cool! Y'know, I had laser treatments on my back and I never had to wear goggles. The mom had to put on sun glasses, but the v-e-t said I didn't need them since I was looking away from the laser thingy. I think I was gipped! I wanna look cool, too!

    Ernie

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  29. Just stoppin by to see if you look as cool as I thought you did yesterday. And yep, you do. You coulda been IN that new Star Trek movie, Dude.

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  30. Whatever happens, you got to keep those goggles. They are way cool! Purrs and hugs from the kitties at The Cat on My Head, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Josette

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  31. Nissy, those goggles look cool! Ireally hope you heal fast. Eat well and sleep well, mah furriend.

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  32. Wow what an awful lot you have been through - I am pleased to hear you are slightly more back to your old self! The poodle look is definately a look, aws crossed your fur will grow back!

    O and check this out http://www.waggfoods.com/content/UK/long-term-sponsorship

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  33. Whew! We're glad you cleared up that part about the wrinkles....NOT that we thought you had any. Our first thought was that you were going to start looking like some movie star or something....NOT that we don't think you're handsome enough right now....oh dear! We're making a mess of this. Poodle cut or not (and Miss Newton and her tail can certainly relate), we're happy to hear you are feeling so much better. Purrs...

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  34. Poor Nerissa... I hope that fur grows back soon. My kitten, Blanca, just had her spay and they cut her nails too. She's miserable with her short nails. She's been working on sharpening them back up for days now!

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  35. Dood WAIT. HOLD the PHONE. They actually mentioned giving you ALLIE'S mani/pedi? Pink and everything?

    Quick, go shred something - or hork up a good one in someone's shoes. Anything at all to reclaim your mancatliness. Because seriously. One cat with a pink mani/pedi in the northern hemisphere is ENOUGH. Trust us on this.
    -Maxwell & Faraday

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  36. ur cat is too cute!! i love cat too! =)

    done follow u..

    Follower no. 148

    do follow me back.. =) http://tengkubutang.blogspot.com/

    my 2nd blog : cat lover
    http://kucenkucenbelog.blogspot.com/

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  37. Saw your link at Angel's Whisper and that you had surgery last week. Just wanted to pop by and say, as an animal lover, hope you're all healed. Paulette

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  38. Oh Honey, I had no idea you wore goggles and that you had those treatments but I sure am glad you did. I heard something about those last time when I went to the Vet a few weeks ago for a mani-pedi.

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  39. MOUSES!! Nissy!! I cannot believe you allowed Peep #1 to feed you that line of peep talk!! They are stealing your furrs...I am sure of it...be very very careful...paw hugs, Savvy

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  40. Nissy as you know, it takes a lot of mancat confidence to walk around with a girls name. But a pink mani-pedi? ...that's asking a bit too much.
    ; ) Katie

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  41. Hoo Cat Nissy you have been through the wringer with all this medical stuff. We asked Dad and he says your fur will grow back as good as new. We wonder about that new lazer he got us? We like it but, Hmmmmm.
    Later
    Timmy T

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  42. Mousiez Nerissa what a ''whack'' storey fer shure!!!
    It iz true dat we iz shaved fer sum fingz like gettin blodwerk dun n fer surgery..me bememberz dat...me neber had Laser tho'..ya iz so bERY brave me furend!!
    Now we nose why ya haz gogglez...
    Da onlee fing me haz had speshell iz Accu-punkture n it waz purrty kewl....
    Me betz yer furz all grew back rite??
    Lub Nylablue n Sherriellen Mum too xoxo

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    1. Pretty much. My fur DID all grow back but now, where there was black before, there are two little patches of white hair. MOUSES!

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  43. Wow what an awful lot you have been through - I am pleased to hear you are slightly more back to your old self! The poodle look is definately a look, aws crossed your fur will grow back!
    Ruby

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