Wednesday, 10 October 2012

the laws of gravelly

So I'm sitting on my desk working on my blog, when I get a whiff of the most delicious smell.  Okay, maybe delicious isn't the word.  The peep would use that word but for me, delicious smells usually emanate from small tins.  No, this was more of a perfumy scent but not the stinky kind my peep wears.  This was the scent of honeysuckle.

Honeysuckle in October, you say?  In the northern hemisphere??  In Canada???  Yup.  Sometimes the ol' honeysuckle vines will treat us to a second viewing, if you will.  There are never many blooms in the fall but in a good year, you can get two or three.  And since the flowers are so strongly scented, two or three is all it takes.

So, I sat on my desk and closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, taking in the lovely scent of the honeysuckle.  I was just about ready to drift off into la-la land, dreaming of hummers zipping and zapping amidst the flowers, when I heard it.  I heard a crunching and a scrunching and an all-round trunching coming through the very same window as my lovely honeysuckle perfume.  Then came the sound of screeching tires.  MOUSES! I thought to myself. 

I recognised the sound immediately as I've been hearing it, over and over and over again, for the last few months.  It was the sound of someone turning the corner, a little too quickly, out on the street in front of my house. 

It all began a few months ago...  You see, some nincompoop in the department of transportation thought that instead of repairing the corners of the road - where they had been worn down over the years and damaged by big ol' snow plows - properly, they would just fill in the holes at the corners with gravel.  Well, I can sure as mouses tell you that whoever came up with this idea was not the saltiest sardine in the tin.  Yeah, it worked for about...  well...  let's see...  a week.  Then, piece by piece and chunk by chunk, the bits of gravel and whatnot were spread about over the entire road.  Like, what did they think would happen?  Did they think that they could say to that ol' gravel, "Now hear this, you bits of gravel, you stay put!" and that somehow, miraculously, the gravel would listen?  I think not!  MOUSES! 

At first, cars had to turn the corner badly and drive over the piles of gravel to make the icky noises but they don't have to do that anymore.  Since the gravel is no longer confined to the corners, all the cars have to do is drive on the road to go over it.  Yeah...  just the road which, I believe, is where they're supposed to be.  The cars, I mean...  not the bits of gravel.  And if those cars are moving even the slightest bit too fast - which I reckon is anything faster than an elderly turtle on crutches - the tires screech.  Oh, it's a horrible sound, it is...   especially for those of us with sensitive ears, like myself. 

And the road looks just awful.  I'm not allowed on it but if I go through the trees where my peep has planted me a little woodland garden filled with primroses and whatnot, I can see the mess from there.  Yes, one day I trotted over there and sat at the edge of my little woods and looked out, just to see what was making all the commotion.  And what I saw was a big ol' mess.  There was the road with big chunks of gravel spread out all over it.  And the holes the gravel were supposed to be filling?  Well, the holes are clearly visible 'cause there's no gravel in them anymore!  And that would be because the gravel is, like I said, all over the road.

I asked the peep about this ridiculousness and she told me that it wasn't just at the corners of my road where they had done this.  She says they did it in at least two other spots in the subdivision.  Maybe more.  And do you know what?  I believe her.  She wouldn't lie about a silly and ridiculous thing like this.  That's for sure.

You know...   I think that I should go work for the Department of Transportation.  I'm pretty sure I could do a way better job than that ol' unsalted sardine.  You see...  I, Nerissa the cat, understand the laws of gravelly.  I understand that you can't just go putting gravel just any-old-where and expect it to stay put.   But then, I'm a cat.  And we cats are so much smarter about these things than...  well...  you know...  peeps.

30 comments:

  1. Well we sure will vote for you Nerissa to be in charge of the gravel. We bet you could get that darn stuff all straightened out. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nerissa, after your blog you could email the DOT a message about that. Or at least the City, whichever is responsible and while you're at it, write a letter to the Editor of your local newspaper. That usually works.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Katie, you're so smart. I'm gonna track down the Department of Transportation right now and tell 'em to read my blog! purrs

      Delete
  3. My Mommie used to work for a city in the human resource department. And she says that she can verify that anyone applying for the Department of Transportation is NOT given an intelligence test!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I truly love reading your bloggie - it soo much fun. - AND educational as well.

    ReplyDelete
  5. The Laws of Gravelly - ooooh, we hasta go tell our scientist dad about this one! Bet he's never heard of it!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Department of Transportation?? Nah. City Emperor!
    You'd have the best city in the whole country!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh, that is so annoying! Humans can be so stupid sometimes with their inept "fixes."

    ReplyDelete
  8. Of course kitties would understand gravel more than humans would.. After all, it's just like big litter! And all cats know litter goes everywhere!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Cheap and cheerful!! Peeps! They never think ahead …… or use their heads to think!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. It's amazing to us how the humans can waste money. Sheesh.

    ReplyDelete
  11. You could DEFINITELY do a better job than those silly unsalty peeps.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Nerissa, don't put up with those peeps who think they can just tell us cats what's what. You are Nerissa afterall so tell them that and then take charge of the gravel. Take care! purrrrrs :) We love reading your blog!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. OMC! The road worker peeps in Canada are just as impractical as USA!!! Who knew???

    ReplyDelete
  14. Shameful, really. It should be called the Department of Stupidheads!

    ReplyDelete
  15. you go Nerissa! and if ya need any help I can hop in to my closet and be there in a jiffy!x Speedy

    ReplyDelete
  16. Oh Nerissa you are SO WISE. If cats ruled the world things would ALL make sense and run so much more efficiently than they do! Meanwhile, we just have to watch while humans do what they think is "the best thing".....which often most certainly isn't! Gravel being one.....! Stop by my blog today and see what I've passed on to you....some yummy cupcakes!

    Kitty Hugs, Sammy

    ReplyDelete
  17. WHY do hoomans insist on doing the "patch" thing when all they'll end up doing is going back & doing it over again? I give your DOT the "smacky paws"!

    MomKatt says hooman MEN must have had this bright idea, and that if a hooman female had done it, she'd have paved over the holes & done the job properly THE FIRST TIME. Sheesh.

    It's the same here.

    Also? MomKatt spotted some honeysuckle about a week ago when she was out running. So we have some late-bloomin' 'suckle here in North Carolina as well. Isn't that nice? :) :)

    PURRS my furriend!

    Selina

    ReplyDelete
  18. There must be an abundant supply of gravel...the human head must be filled with it!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hey Nerissa! Soundz like da Same NINKOMPOOPERZ dat fix owr roadz!! ^..^

    Other dan That!
    We had da mom & dad plant sum Honeysuckle this past Spring, and dey liked it so much, dey plan on planting more next Spring ^.,^ It'z pretty too, da mom sayz when she waz growin up, it came in only one color a creamy white....... well ov-coarse, dat waz hundredz ov yearz ago..... ^..^
    ♥♥xoxo♥♥

    ReplyDelete
  20. Peeps will never learn! If only we had thumbs.

    Nubbin wiggles,
    Oskar

    ReplyDelete
  21. Nerissa - Yous should run for mayor!
    Kisses
    Nellie
    PS they is no better in our teennie tiny village

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My 'dot on the map' is too small to have a mayor. Gosh, it's too small to even have it's own postal code! But I could run for county councillor... or MLA... or how 'bout Prime Minister? Yeah... Prime Minister...

      Delete
  22. Well, they shoulda at leest mixt it with some sooper-gloo or something to help it stay put. Honestly, I think those same people come down here in their off weeks and fill the potholes in my city's streets. Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Gratiano, yep. Nerissa, does your Mom know how many MALE characters there are in MoV? Antonio, Bassanio, Gratiano, Leonardo, Lorenzo, even freaking SHYLOCK for heaven's sake! Could you campaign for a name change Pal?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oohhh.... Bassanio would have been a good one, huh? Wonder what she'd turn that into, nickname wise...

      Delete
    2. Well, she could call you Bossy, or Bassy, or Sonny, or even B.S. ha ha meow.

      But hey, look who's talking. My name is Spitty, for Cod's sake. Sigh.

      Delete
  24. nerissa; we bee new ta yur site N wanted ta say nice two meet ewe; ewe haz done an awesum job creating da :thinking of you award: which we just getted .....

    AND.....

    if ewe get tired oh gravel, stop by trout towne; chillax in sum sand N sun, help yur self ta what everz cookin on de grill.....

    N we hope ewe haza grate week oh end

    peace out N rock on; long live trout :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. Sayin nothin, but did you know there are 10 squillion lines of Hamlet? Isn't that a lot of werk fer eggs? [Huh, TBT?] Oh! that's "omelets with ham". Oh.

    Never mind...

    ReplyDelete
  26. Work for the Dept of Transport!??! We say RUN the Dept of Transport! Yay!! Take care
    x

    ReplyDelete

I love hearin' from my pals. I absolutely LOVE it! Just saying...