Sunday, 28 October 2012

spell check and whatnot


A week or two ago, I found a comment in the spam folder for my blog.  Some guy named Anonymous said that Nerissa's Life was "rife with spelling errors" and that he found said errors, "distracting."  Hmmm...  spelling errors?  Doesn't this guy know Kitty Speak?  I spell Kitty Speak, purrfectly!

And who is this guy named Anonymous anyway?  And why did his comment end up in my spam folder?  Could it be that insidious little link he tried to sneak in with his comment?  Yeah, it was hidden there just waitin' for some poor unsuspectin' cat or peep to click.  And an even better question is this...  WHO THE MOUSES NAMES THEIR KID ANONYMOUS?  I'm afraid, my friends, the question must be asked.  It's a very good question.  A question that should have been asked before Anonymous' parents wrote that silly name down on his birth certificate, I should think.

You know, I do use the spell check provided by Blogger before I publish my posts.  I have found however, that there are a lot of missing words in it.  Many of the wondrous words that I have invented are not yet there.  I'm sure they will be, some day.  I mean...  they're good words.  It's only a matter of time before everyone is using them.  I use them all the time...  'cause like I said...  they're good!

I have come to the conclusion however, that waiting for my wordy inventions will require patience on my part.  It'll take the peeps at Blogger a little while to catch up with what's hip an' happenin' in the the twenty-first century, I think.  Languages evolve and I, Nerissa the cat, am helpin' with the evolution.  But evolution is a slow moving train.  Thus, the required patience.   Patience is a virtue, you know.  And as a cat, I have the necessary patience.  Or do I have patients?  Hehehe...  well...  occasionally a claw or two might slip and a peep might become one.  It has been known to happen, I'm afraid.

Now you see, that is something for which these spell check thing-a-ma-gigs don't account.  Those words that sound alike but are spelled - or as they say in the UK, spelt - differently and mean totally different things.  Now technically, patience and patients do not sound exactly alike.  There are auditory differences unless, of course, you're dealing with a peep who doesn't enunciate.  Bet you didn't know that a cat like me would know the word enunciate, huh?  Well I do.  Just like I know that patients in a waiting room will likely require patience.

But what about all those other words like the three twos and the two fours?  And don't even get me started on all the yours.  You all know what I mean.  Right?  No, you don't?  Yes you do.  No writer doesn't know the difference between right and write.  Let me assure you my friends...  spell check will not help you with these words.  Nope.  You've just gotta learn 'em.  Gotta have 'em in your head.

And then there's the whole Canadian kitty versus American kitty thing.  We Canadian kitties spell some words differently.  We just do.  We tend to add a lot of the letter u.  We do people favours and have neighbours and well...  that kind of thing.  When I spell one of those u words properly for a Canadian kitty, Blogger spell check goes all crazy with the squiggly red lines.  Crazy, crazy, CRAZY!  Crazy as a squirrel makin' nut pies.  And by the way, that's red as in the colour of a red squirrel and not a squirrel who happens to be well-read.  MOUSES!  Another one.

And let us not forget the dastardly s and z conspiracy.  I'm pretty sure that it is, in fact, a conspiracy.  A conspiracy designed to drive kitties like me up the big ol' squirrel tree.  Does this come as a surprise?  Or are you surprized?  Well, Blogger spell check says one thing while other spell checks say another.  Either way, you're gonna have squiggly red lines. 

Luckily for me, at times like this when the various spell checks are arguing with one another, the peep lets me borrow her big ol' three-volume dictionary.  It's massive but does the trick.  The humongous dictionary says surprise can be spelled either way.  Both s and z are correct.  Spell checks be darned!  They're just trying to lead me astray.  And as you all know.  I was never a stray.  I was feral. 

It is a big dictionary however and I need the peep's help in setting it up.  She lays it on the floor for me where I can scan the pages from top to bottom.  It took a bit of practice getting used to all that tiny print and those little abbreviations and whatnot but I've got the hang of it now.  Practice, practice, practice...  or is it practise?  Don't ask spell check.  This is one for the dictionary, for sure.  Just be prepared for the squiggles in red.

So I say this to you, my friend Anonymous...   What is a spelling error to you may not be to me.  For I am a Canadian kitty, you see.  Plus, I invent some of my own words.  And the inventor of the word gets to invent the spelling, too.  So ha!  Now, let me give you a piece of advice.  Get your name changed, huh?  To Bill or Bob or John or...  or really anything other than Anonymous.  It's not a great name, I'm afraid.  It's kind of silly.  Nah...  it is silly.  Silly, silly, silly...   MOUSES!

43 comments:

  1. We think Mr. Anonymous needs to get a cat-speak dictionary. We think you have a pawsome command of the English language!

    The Florida Furkids

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  2. I think the name "Anonymous" was a fad for a while. Sort of like "Brandie" or "Tiffany." Even "Debbie" back in the fifties. Apparently, a lot of parents named their kids "Anonymous." And, a lot of them are quite forward and rude. Not sure why.

    Spell check. Bleh! Their, there. They're not the same.

    "Nut pie." The lady laughed at that because she sometimes calls people (affectionately) "nut pies."

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  3. Oh my Ceiling Cat. What a clueless hoomin. He can no haz cheezburger, that one.

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  4. heh. This drives our Mommy crazy, too! Well, crazIER.

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  5. You have missed the big clue! Your nameless commenter can't spell. He or she has missed the E off the end of anonymouse!

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  6. Well said, as always my furfriend. Doze silly hoomans have ne idea how smart you are

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  7. This Anonymous is no friend of yours. In fact we thinks he (she/it) is illiterate as he cannot spell his own name and leaves the generic mark of the Coward who Wishes to not be Named. And so what if your spelling is a little off ? It's all relative, and depends which sort of English you fancy anyway. I'm glad this Anonymous hasn't read my blog as the secretary's typing is awful. Her spelling is gud but the execution is terrible. Much kudos to you Nerissa for taking on Anonymous and wiping the proverbial floor with him.

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  8. Doesn't that silly anonymous know that cats and kitties have their very own language. Some people just need to catch up with the world. That was such a good post about the play on words. Well done. Take care.

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  9. We get lots of comments on our older posts that are clearly spam from Anonymouse, but not recognized as Spam by Blogger. Blogger is almost as clueless as Anonymouse is. We have it set so after a certain number of days after a post is posted the comments have to be moderated. So these messages with all sorts of advertising for stuff, and scary links in them come into our email. But at least not onto our blog.

    Nerissa, we love your Canadian spellings, so we hope Blogger doesn't make you change them.

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  10. Kitty speak rules, or should that be rulez?! What a great blog you have, just made my way over from Cat Blogosphere to say hello. I do hope you have a couple of seconds to check my blog out too! Purrs, Feebee Tortie.

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  11. Sounds Like this silly human need a good rabbit foot thumping...THUMP THUMP THUMP!How about it Nerissa?xx Speedy

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  12. We don't allow "Anonymous" to post comments on our blog, and our human doesn't allow them on her personal blog, either. Just a tip, that you can change your settings. We seldom get any kind of spam now, so it seems to work--knock on wood!

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    1. Well, I've got the comment moderation thingy so I catch 'em before they post. This particular Anonymous guy just got under my skin, you know? purrs

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  13. Oh don't worry about that silly spell check or that AnonMouse dude!!!

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  14. Take no notice of anonymouse or anonymous they clearly have nothing to do and should take up a hobby like skydiving without a parachute.
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

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  15. I've gotten complaints in my spam comments folder too, about spelling and not having enough images on my blog posts - on my Wordless Wednesday posts! Sheesh, can you say lame?

    One word that spellcheck needs to add, because I get the red, squiggly line every time: concatulations! It keeps trying to change it to concatenations.

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  16. That Anonny Mouse doesn't know what he is talking about. We get lots of red squiggles too. Canadian spelling is more like British spelling with "u" where the Americans don't use them. We use s instead of z mostly as well eg cosy. We don't allow anonymous comments as they occasionally sneaked past blogger,but anything over a week old has comment moderation as well.

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  17. Well! It's QUITE Obvious that Someone (*cough* Anon. *cough*) has no CLUE about how languages evolve. The fact that we are contributing to the human language is simply more evidence that we are succeeding in our Ultimate Plan to Rule the World.

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  18. Anonymouse needs a claw stuck in his asterisk! MOL!

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  19. Me too think that Mr. Anonymous needs to get a cat-speak dictionary !
    Me too get´s a lot of red colour under my words and I don´t give a mouse about that *mol*

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  20. Hehe! Monsieur A Nony Mouse has visited me too! He's very rude!! I didn't realise :) Canadians and Brits spelt :) the same way!! Don't forget there, their and they're. Drives me crazy that folk don't bother ;) Also they will say brought instead of bought!! Grrrrr! mol

    We are working on a new dictionary. It will be revolutionary in its breadth and scope! Yeah right!!

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  21. Great points Nerissa :)
    We agree too!
    Good thing you caught that Anony Mouse and gave him the claw ;) heehee
    Purrs Tillie and Georgia,
    Tiger,Treasure,JJ and Julie

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    1. Who cares what Anonymous says anyhow? I say we change the name to A-nommie-mouse..yumm!

      Tom

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  22. Anony Mouse must be a very common name for those who live in the spam file world. I see him/her/it show up in my spam file world every now and then...mostly wanting to talk with someone called Ad-Min??? crazy world! And I live for red squiggly lines!

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  23. We're sorry Mr. Anonymous isn't with the program! Don't let him fool you, he is the one that doesn't know how to spell!

    Oink oink,
    Katie and Coccolino the mini pig

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  24. Well written lovely Nerissa! It's always best to use the dictionary and thesaurus rather than spell check! And we hope NonyMouse goes away now!! Take care
    x

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  25. Dear Nerissa, Mommy works in software and she writes the online help. Dig this, they spells some things American and something Canadian and Mommy has to make sure she gest the write (er right) one the right way. She says they 9Canadians and Americans) does their DATES different than we does. Now What kind of dates? Does she mean the day date, or the the going out date, or the date that is in Date Squares? English is just too confusing for this cat!
    Kisses
    Nellie

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  26. Your anonymous seems more subtle than mine who seem to want to sweet-talk me about how interesting my ideas are and I really make A. Nonny Mouse think! And while he's thingking maybe I or my readers would like to click on the little linky right there their they're. Whatever.

    I hope you are SAFE SAFE SAFE from the storm!!

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  27. Nerissa hun,
    If I have fingers like humans, I'll stick the middle one up in that Anonymous' face. That's why I don't allow them to leave comments at mine. The cheek of him, eh? We are felines and we spell purrrfectly any which way. purrr...meow!

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  28. Well after all spelling is just a human thing and we all know that they are subpar anyway!

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  29. This was GREAT and I wouldn't give that ASS (spelled A-S-S) a second thought!

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  30. That is unpurr SPAM! We think annyone who corrects cat-spelling should amember the joke about the bicycle-riding bear. Its not that that bear rides the bicycle WELL, its that he can ride it at all! Bein-writing is so WEERD! We struggle to make it sensible at all.

    We'd love to see a Bein write annything sensible in Meow...

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  31. Mr. Anonymouse is a looser.
    heh heh
    ; ) Katie

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  32. I agree totally with Katie and Glogirly! And how dare he/she/it make that comment anyway!!

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  33. I have a furiend I email with all the time and me and him speak lolcat in our emails. the Human says that her gmail seems to have LEARNED some lolwords and doesn't even mark them with the red sqigglies anymore!

    How funny is it that the ad beneath your blog right now is for "Grammarly" Instant Grammar Checker....download & try now! Ha ha ha!

    Happy Halloween!

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    1. I know, I KNOW! Isn't that hilarious? That ad ran for almost a full day. hehehe... purrs

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  34. That Anonymous guy must be a spelling moron! He certainly doesn't know cat speak & he can't recognize the difference between an educated Canadian cat & an American one. I say ignore him. You're intellect exceeds his by far, like comparing a scientist to a doorknob. MOL!

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  35. Well this is very strange. This post arrived in my reader an hour ago and I wondered how you had so many comments already. On investigation I see it is from October 2012. Where has it been all this time? Has it been wandering the ether just waiting to surprise me?
    I get those red squiggles all the time too. You and I know that the "u" should be in the words you mentioned. What does spell check know!

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    1. Oh my mouses! Darned that ol' peep of mine. Clearly, she messed up. She was supposed to republish this post for today on account of my not feelin' well but she didn't think it had worked ('cause you know, she is THE WORST IT support in the history of IT support) so she put it back as is and copied & pasted the post, bit by bit, into a new post. Like I said, she messed up. Messed up BIG TIME, I should think. Sorry 'bout that. purrs

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  36. Mr Anonymous seems to know how to spell in any language ; furthermore, he seems to know how to run a blog, how to be a millionaire, and how to be sexually powerful : what the hell is he still losing time and commenting on our kitty blogs if he's such a genius ? Purrs

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    1. Yeah, that ol' spammer thinks he knows how to do EVERYTHIN'. Problem is, I think he really knows nothin' at all. MOUSES! purrs

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  37. Oh Nissy, I feel your pain!! In fact you should get the old peep#1 to select UK English as her template for the spell check! I know, that's not fair, but in fact you Canadian kitties spell things the way we do in the UK, cos you're, like, ya know, in the Commonwealth and everything!! And don't get me started on they're, there, their!!! MOL

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