I spy with my little eye...A FLY!
And it was scrumptiously delicious, for sure. MOUSES!
Just kiddin'. I don't eat flies. I sure do like to catch 'em though. Well chase 'em, actually. I like to bat at 'em and biff at 'em, but I leave the catchin' for others.
To tell you the truth, those flies are kinda hard to catch. You think you have one under your paw and the next thing you know, it's flyin' around without a care in the world, a foot or two away. I mean, a paw or two away. No, I mean a foot or two... Awww... MOUSES!
But did you know that some cats actually do eat flies? Did you know that some cats call flies, sky raisins?
Bet you peeps will never think of raisins the same way again, huh?
Two scoops... Ummm... Never mind. MOUSES!
So anyway, the other day, I was watchin' a fly at the window and I asked myself, I wonder if I should biff him? Then I asked myself, I wonder if I can biff him? Then I asked myself, I wonder if I should outsource the biffin' to Mason? Then I asked myself, I wonder if I should just grab a nip mouse and get nipped?
For the record, I went for the nip. MOUSES!
Now here's somethin' I bet you didn't know.
Some of those flies, are are actually spies.
It's true! You ever hear the sayin', "I would love to be a fly on the wall?" Well those flies aren't hangin' around on those walls waitin' to be biffed by cats. No sirree... Those flies are spies. That's what that whole sayin' is about, you see.
I've even heard my peeps say it and I can absolutely, positively guarantee that neither of my peeps was wantin' to be a fly on account of the cuteness factor of flies.
By the way, in case you were wondering, flies have a cuteness factor of zero.
Unless, of course, you happen to be askin' another fly. MOUSES!But back to the spies... I mean, flies. No, I mean spies. Awww... I MEAN BOTH. MOUSES!
Now the spyin' flies can always be differentiated from the regular ol' sky raisin flies, by their lack of buzzin' around the window sills, and their propensity to sit quietly on a wall and listen.
A word of advice. If you're chattin' with a fur-sib about givin' some other fur-sib a smacky-paw, make sure there are no spyin' flies sittin' on any nearby walls, listenin' to the conversation, 'cause believe-you-me, nothin' good ever comes of that. MOUSES!
I have long suspected that these spying flies are the reason why spies who are not flies, call their listening devices, bugs.
Of course, spies who ARE flies probably call themselves bugs, too. You know, 'cause they kinda are. 'Cause they're flies. And flies are insects and insects are bugs and... Well you get my drift, I am sure.
But peeps who are bugs, are not actually bugs. No, they're just peeps who enjoy bugging you. BELIEVE ME, I know all I NEED to know 'bout those kind of bugs. MOUSES!
BUT... But we mustn't forget, sometimes, a fly is really nothin' more than just a fly. Some flies are simply flies and not spies at all. But they're still bugs. You know, 'cause they're flies. And believe-you-me, with all their flyin' around and buzzin' and stuff, they will certainly be bugging you. So in other words, some flies bug and are bugs, but are not spies, and therefore not listening to your private conversations about biffing your fur-sibs and then other flies...
Uh...
Where was I again?
Awww... MOUSES!Hmmm...
Bottom line is this. There are two kinds of flies. There are the sky raisin flies and there are spyin' flies, and it's always best to not confuse the two. After all, you never know who a fly spy might be when he or she is at home and not on your wall, listenin' and spyin' and stuff on you, gatherin' intel on when a fur-sib might be gettin' a smacky paw or a biffin' about the ears. And if a cat should happen to mistake one of these fly spies for a snack... Well... Well let me tell you, a cry of mouses won't even begin to cover it and that, my friends, is for sure. MOUSES!
