we need to talk

Peepers, we need to talk.

Now.

MOUSES!

Okay Peepers, I'm gonna say a four-letter word and I don't want you to freak out 'bout this or anythin', but...

NO, NOT THAT FOUR-LETTER WORD.  What kinda kitty do you think I am?  What kinda kitty goes around sayin' THAT word?  You honestly think I'm a kitty like that?

MOUSES!

Okay, you had best sit down, Peepers.  Yup, you had best sit down, for sure.  I am now gonna say the four-letter word.

TICK.

MOUSES!

No, you don't have a tick on you.

I don't think.

Want me to check?

MOUSES!

Nah, I'm pretty sure you're good for now, but the thing is...

The thing is...

Well we took a vote, you see, and...

Who is we?  You wanna know who was in on the votin'?

Oh.

Well...

Well that would be me, myself, and I, of course.  I, Seville the Cat, get three votes, on account of...  Well I just do 'cause I'm me.  Saffron would have had a vote, too, but she wasn't around at the time.  But there were two cute little chickadees, one squawky blue jay, a big ol' rocky raccoon, and three squirrels.

Oh, and there was this bumblebee who wanted in on the action but the rest of us took ANOTHER vote and decided bees couldn't vote on account of our not trusting 'em to vote against the interests of other bugs, if you know what I mean, so...

So...

So the vote was unanimous: ten votes for, and zero against, and...

And...

AND THE VOTE IS IN.  PEEPERS, YOU HAVE TO GO OUT AND MOW THE FRONT LAWN.

MOUSES!

What has lawn mowin' got to do with ticks, you ask?

Well...

Well ticks like long grass, you see, and the longer the grass, the more those dastardly ticks are gonna like our front lawn, and...

AND I DON'T WANNA BE HAVIN' TICKS DININ' ON ME.

MOUSES!

Actually, to be totally honest, I'm not too concerned 'bout myself on account of my gettin' my monthly dab on the back of my neck.  That takes care of those ticks not gettin' on me, but...

But YOU'LL be like an all you can eat buffet if they end up on you.

Of course, what we COULD do...

Peepers, you want me to dab some of that stuff from Dr T on the back of YOUR neck to keep the ticks at bay?  Works like a charm, it does.  Doesn't hurt one bit.  Now, you're a bit bigger than me, so I'll likely have to use a couple vials - at least - but I'm willin' to share my flea and tick begone meds with you, and...

WELL IF YOU WON'T LET ME DAB THE BACK OF YOUR NECK, GO OUT THERE AND MOW THAT FRONT LAWN!!!

Neighbours didn't get a vote but I'm pretty sure if they had, they'd have voted in favour of your reacquaintin' yourself with that ol' lawn mower, too.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

and they sighed with relief

BREAKING NEWS...

Peep #1 mowed the lawn yesterday.

And the world sighed with relief.

MOUSES!

Seriously, they did. Really.  Truly!  Honestly to goodnessly.

Okay, so goodnessly isn't really a word.  But how the mouses else was I gonna make goodness rhyme with truly?

MOUSES!

But actually...  Actually, if I'm gonna be talkin' about bein' honest.  Well...

Okay, so it wasn't the WORLD that sighed with relief.

But I'm bettin' the neighbours all did.

MOUSES!

Now you might think I'm exaggeratin' about this, but really I'm not.  The peep hadn't mowed the lawn in over two weeks, you see, so really and truly, I'm not.  Exaggeratin', that is.

And that was just the front yard.

The backyard?  HO-HO!  You don't wanna go there.

No.  Seriously.  You don't.  'Bout a week ago, some jungle explorer guy went missin' back there.

Don't worry though.  I've ordered the peep a scythe.  I'm thinkin' that might do the trick, and if it doesn't, I have my eye on a little herd of sheep.

MOUSES!

But seriously, do any of you cats out there have problems with your peeps not keepin' up with their lawn mowin' duties?  And if so, how do you get 'em back on track? Inquirin' minds wanna know.

In my case, once the grass had passed my knees, I felt the need to confront the peep.

Okay, so it wasn't so much a confrontation as uh...  Um....  BRIBERY.

Anyway, I tried gettin 'the peep to get out there and mow the lawn - if you wanna call it that, 'cause I'm not sure you CAN call it a lawn once it passes a certain height.

Anyway, I tried gettin' the peep out there by offerin' her treats.

Snooty peep.  Apparently, eatin' freeze-dried salmon treats is beneath her.

MOUSES!

So when bribery didn't work, I resorted to threats.

But APPARENTLY, my threatenin' the peep to no longer assist her with her knittin', isn't really a threat.

MOUSES!

But eventually, after the ineffective attempts with bribes and threats, the peep did finally see the light.

That's right, she managed to push aside the taller than tall grass out there, and a little sunlight was able to find its way through.  That would be 'bout the time she was finally able to see that light.

So yesterday afternoon, out Peep #1 went, lawn mower in tow.

Well she was pushin' it, not pullin' it, so it wasn't really in tow, but you get the picture, I am sure.

And now...  Now have an actual lawn!  That's right.  An actual lawn in the front yard.  You know, a lawn, as opposed to some kind of grassy maze or cornfield.


Too bad 'bout that explorer guy in the backyard though.  As far as I know, he's still out there.  Yeah, still out there, attemptin' to find his way out.

MOUSES!

Peep #1 says she'll tackle the backyard over the weekend.  I wish he luck with that, 'cause from the looks of things, it just might tackle her back.

MOUSES!