cooler now

It's cooler here now and thank goodness for that.

MOUSES!

As you may have heard, a couple weeks ago, the weather 'round here was unbelievably hot.  Every day there was a new heat warnin' bein' announced.  And not only was it hot, but it was horribly humid, too.  Super duper sticky, to be sure.

But not sticky like plastic cellophane, mind you, 'CAUSE WE ALL KNOW that darned cellophane never sticks.

'Cept when you don't want it to.

MOUSES!

But anyway...

But anyway, like I was sayin', the weather was hot and humid and sticky and icky and a myriad of other nasty things.  Why, I was even considerin' gettin' a lion cut like my late brother Andy once had, but on a short-haired kitty like me, a lion cut just wouldn't look as good.

MOUSES!

But in the last few days, much of the humidity has flown the coop and the temperatures have cooled right down.  The temperatures have become much more bearable, for sure.  Peepers has even started closin' windows at night!  Yup, it is that much cooler outside.

And not only that, she is now wearin' pants.

MOUSES!

Okay, perhaps I should explain.  Durin' the hottest of days, she wasn't walkin' around nekkid, or anythin' like that.  Nothin' that was gonna get her arrested.  She might not have been wearin' pants BUT SHE WAS wearin' clothes.  She was wearin' her shorts.  You know, short pants.

Oh, and t-shirts, of course.  Yeah, she was definitely legally attired.

Okay, perhaps I should explain AGAIN.  She wasn't wearin' a dark robe or even one of those curly wigs worn in British courts.  Yes, those would definitely be legal attire, but I'm thinkin' they'd also be hot.  Even hotter than pants.

Hmmm...

Perhaps I should explain ONCE MORE.  Peepers was APPROPRIATELY clad in enough clothes so as not to land her in prison.

MOUSES!

BUT MY POINT IS...

The point I was tryin' to make...

The point I was tryin' to make is that the weather is much more bearable now, what with the temperature turned down a couple notches and the humidity gone, and...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

It is?

MOUSES!

So apparently, the heat and humidity are on their way back.

Next week.

This heat is never endin', for sure.

I might just need to rethink that ol' lion cut.

MOUSES!

the Canadian way

Yup, you're right.  You are most definitely right.  You are most definitely right, to be sure.  'Cause it's true, I WAS complainin' about it bein' all rainy and kinda chilly on Sunday, and the fact that there wasn't a single solitary sunpuddle in sight.

I repeat, NOT A SINGLE SOLITARY SUNPUDDLE IN SIGHT.

Can you believe it?

MOUSES!

But that was then and this is now, and now...

And now...

AND NOW I'M COMPLAININ' ABOUT THE HEAT.

MOUSES!

It's the Canadian way, my friends.  Complaining 'bout the weather, that is.  We complain 'cause it's cold and then 'cause it's hot and sometimes...

Sometimes...

SOMETIMES WE COMPLAIN FOR THE SAKE OF COMPLAININ'.

At least that's how it seems.

MOUSES!

As I said, it's the Canadian way.

MOUSES!

But seriously, my pals.  It IS way too hot.  Way too hot to be sure.  Mother Nature took her rain clouds away and turned up the heat.  There are heat warnings all over the province.  Right now, at this very moment, whilst I sit here and write, it's 33 degrees.  33C and feelin' like 43.

Hot, sticky humidity.

Feels like a sauna 'round here.

MOUSES!

Peeps are complainin' all over the place.  Why just this mornin', I heard my Peepers complain.  Then she went upstairs to change into shorts.  Shorts!  Shorts.

It's not fair, you know.  It's not fair at all.  We kitties can't change into shorts.  Our furs are our furs and they're great for keepin' us warm, but contrary to public opinion, they can't insulate us FROM the heat as much as we'd like.

Oh what I'd do for a pair of nice cool shorty-short shorts.

MOUSES!

And speakin' of peeps...

And speakin' of peeps, do you know what my peep did to Saffron today?

You don't?

Then I should tell you, for sure.

Saffy Saffron Sassafras had found a relatively cool spot outside.  I say relatively 'cause it was in the shade and although not nearly as hot as spots in the sun, on account of the hot weather, it was still pretty warm.

Well Peepers spotted him out there.  I'm really not sure how.  She has this sixth sense or somethin' like that.  Sometimes I think she has eyes in the back of her head.

But anyway...

But anyway, Peepers spotted Saffron and outside she went.  On a mission, she was.  On a mission to grab Saffy, sayin' something 'bout something 'bout how it was cooler inside.

But then do you know what she did?

SHE PICKED UP MY POOR BROTHER.

AND IN HER ARMS HE WAS HELD.

That's right, into her arms poor Saffy went.  Where she gave him a hug and then cuddles.  And then kisses, I'm afraid.

The things we kitties have to put up with in return for three good squares and a supply of the nip.

MOUSES!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin' that cuddles and kisses aren't all that bad.

And sometimes...

Sometimes, you're right.  Sometimes it's okay for Peepers to do things like that.

But huggin' a kitty when it's 33C and feelin' like 43?

IT'S WAY TOO HOT TODAY FOR CUDDLES, MY FRIENDS.

Would someone please pass me an icy cold nipgarita.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

in full public view

Put some clothes on out there.  I said, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON.

Oh yeah, it is pretty hot out today.  30C last time I checked and 30C is pretty hot to be sure.

Hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk, or so they say.  Although to be perfectly honest, I have never ever - ever! - in all my nine lives, seen anyone fryin' eggs for their brekkies on the sidewalk.  Of course, I'm not one to watch the cookin' channels and stuff.  Mainly on account of those kinda channels never featurin' recipes usin' catnip, you see.  For I know, there might very well be a whole series devoted to sidewalk cookin' and such.  Cookin' eggs, meltin' butter, and makin' hot tea.

MOUSES!

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

Well that's just great, that is.  Great you have some clothes on, I mean.  Glad to hear you're not out there dancin' and prancin' around in the yard wearin' nothin' but a pair of earrings and a couple of rings.  But guess what, Peepers.  I WASN'T TALKIN' TO YOU.

MOUSES!

That's right, my friends.  I wasn't talkin' to Peep #1 when earlier, I told someone to put some clothes on themselves.  Wasn't talkin' to the second peep, either.  I was talkin'...

No, there aren't any stranger peeps in our yard wanderin' around nekkid.

I don't think.

Perhaps I should check.

MOUSES!

Nope, there are no stranger peeps out there nekkid and that, my friends, is a good thing, for sure.

But back to the other nekkidness and to whom I was speakin'.  It was to Saffron I was sayin' these things.

MOUSES!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin' Saffy doesn't wear clothes and you are absolutely right about that.  But the thing is...

The thing is...

The thing is, with all this heat and humidity we've been havin', Saffy has taken a liking to lyin' out on the driveway or deck or anywhere else, and in full public view...

In full public view...

In full public view, he is airin' out parts that shouldn't need airin'.

Okay, so maybe they do.

But you don't wanna air out your parts best left private with everyone out there a-lookin'.

MOUSES!

That's right, that brother of mine is out there right now, lyin' on his back with his hind legs spread apart, with all of his private parts very...

Well...

Unprivate.

That's not a word, you are sayin'?

Well perhaps it should be.  My brother is out there right now, committin' acts of indecent exposure, he is.  Indecent exposure, I say.  Exposin' parts best left hidden by his very furry tail.

MOUSES!

I know it's hot out there.  I REALLY DO KNOW it's super-duper hot.  I'm feelin' the heat, as well.  But the thing is...

The thing is...

The thing is, if that darn brother of mine is feelin' so hot, MAYBE HE SHOULD GO LIE UNDER A TREE OR A BUSH OR SOMETHIN' LIKE THAT, AND NOT BE LYIN' OUT THERE ON THE HOT OPEN DECK IN FULL VIEW OF EVERYONE.

Not to mention bein' under the blazin' hot sun.

Sights like that are not fit for an innocent peep like my Peepers to see.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

when in doubt...

When in doubt, BLAME THE PEEP.

MOUSES!

Oopsie, wrong sayin'.

MOUSES!

On the other paw...

On the other paw, it actually fits.

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin', what the mouses has Peepers done NOW?  What has she done and for what must she be blamed?

Well...

Well technically, SHE hasn't done anythin', I suppose.  But therein lies the problem, you see.  Maybe she COULD have done somethin' and her lack of doin' anythin' is why I'm now blamin' her for creatin' my original complaint which could possibly have been...

Are you ready?

IT'S TOO DARN HOT.

MOUSES!

Do you peeps out there have any idea just how hot 28C is for us kitties with fur?  Do you?  DO you?

Well let me tell you somethin', my friends: it's hot.  Hot as all get out.  Hot as in TOO hot, for sure.

And bein' a Canadian kitty...

Bein' a Canadian kitty, I have the tendency to be - as most Canadians are - preoccupied with the weather and such.

It's a Canadian thing, you see.  We complain when it's too cold and then again when it gets too hot.  In fact, just last week I was complaining 'bout July bein' a little on the cool side 'round here.  Yup, I was doin' just that.  Peeps were complainin', too.  And not just my peeps, either!  Nope and no sirree.  Peeps far and wide were complainin' that the nights were downright chilly for this time of year.  Why one night, someone said somethin' about the possibility of frost!

MOUSES!

But then three days ago...

Then three days ago, the tables turned - or whatever they say - and too cold got too hot as the mercury climbed and the heat got the upper paw.

Not that thermometers use mercury now, but the sayin' still stands, I do believe.

So anyway, three days ago it got all hot and yucky and my fur started stickin' to me like my fur got all stuck on Peepers' black winter pea jacket.

You know, the jacket the dry-cleaners gave up on and told her to never bring back.

MOUSES!

Now where was I?

Oh yeah, I was gettin' to the point where I could blame Peepers for this here darned heat.  The way I see it, when it gets too cold, Peepers turns on the furnace, right?  Right.  So when it gets too hot and yucky, why can't she turn on the cold?  And I don't mean just in the house, either.  I MEAN IN ALL THE GREAT OUTDOORS!  Why can't peeps learn to regulate the weather like they try to regulate everythin' else?  WHY CAN'T PEEPS DO SOMETHIN' USEFUL FOR A CHANGE?

And if Peepers finally does get off  that lazy tail of hers and learns how to control Nova Scotia's...  Scratch that, Canada's...  Scratch that, too.  If Peepers ever does get off that lazy tail of hers and learns how to control the GLOBAL weather, I, SEVILLE THE CAT, will be in charge of determining at what temperature the global thermostat will be set.

Kinda goes without sayin'.

But in the meantime, I'm just gonna sit here in front of this fan and cool myself off for a bit.  Might even take a nap.  And when I get up...

When I get up, I'm gonna figure out for what else I can blame ol' Peepers 'cause you know what they say.  They say, when in doubt, BLAME THE PEEP.

And never a truer sayin' was said.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.