foul mood

Of all the nerve...

OF ALL THE NERVE...

My gosh that peep is rude.

MOUSES!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin', some peep has been rude to MY peep.  And you know what?

You would be wrong.

MOUSES!

While it's true that some peep MIGHT have been rude to my peep, I try not to concern myself with such mundane matters.  Peepers has gotta learn to stand up for herself, you see, and what better way for her to stand up for herself than to stand up to peeps who would be rude?

MOUSES!

No, rude peeps are only of a concern to me when they're bein' rude to me and the fact of the matter is, MY peep was incredibly rude to me early this mornin'.  She was rude to Saffy, too, but you know... Stuff happens.

MOUSES!

So how was ol' Peepers rude to Saffron and me, you ask?

Well...

Well she wasn't so much rude as she was...

Nope, she was rude.

MOUSES!

Okay, so I'll tell you what happened.  I asked Peepers a question and she up and left the room.

Can you believe it?

MOUSES!

Okay, so TECHNICALLY she was actually already on her way outside when I was askin' her the question, and it is quite possible she didn't hear me ask it, but still...

RUDE.

MOUSES!

The real problem is, Peepers was in a foul mood this mornin'.  Foul as foul can be.  Foul as a hen house full of chickens, she was.

MOUSES!

So apparently...

Apparently we had a visitor last night.  Maybe two.  Maybe three!  And you know what?  You know what those visitors did?

Well they didn't bring me prezzies and THAT is rude, too.

MOUSES!

And not only did they not bring me, Seville the Cat, a prezzie, they left behind a right ol' mess.  The bird feeder hangin' from the veranda was down on the ground; empty of all its seed AND, turns out, the metal cord thingy from which it hangs has been broken beyond repair.

Yeah, when Peepers re-filled the knocked down feeder only to discover it couldn't be hung up again, she stomped off in ANOTHER rage, for sure.

And the metal stand thingy with all the hooks, the one in the middle of the front lawn, was also knocked down; but Peepers managed to get it back up, even though one of the prong leg thingies was all bent out of shape.

That made her foulness all the more foul, if you can believe she could get even fouler.

Oh, and the two acorn feeders hangin' from said metal stand thingy with all the hooks?  The two acorns that are Peepers' very favourite bird-feeders of all time on account of their bein' so cute?

Well...

Well...

Well one she found halfway across the lawn.

MOUSES!

And the other one...

The other one...

THE OTHER ONE...

THE OTHER ONE looks like it was trampled by a stampede, is completely bent out of shape - like Peepers, herself, I believe - and is totally, utterly, unreservedly unusable and unfillable, not to mention useless, to be sure.

Yup, the thing is as flat as a pancake, she said.

MOUSES!

And just who were these visitors, you ask?  And ask you might, on account of my havin' asked the very same question, although an answer I did not get.

Yeah, that was about the time Peepers so rudely stomped outta the house.

MOUSES!

Well my first guess was a neighbour.  Some of 'em have found out they appear in my book - YES, I am still workin' on that - and are none-too-pleased 'bout the fact, you see.

But then I thought, why would a neighbour wanna give me EVEN MORE fodder for my book?  That would be stupid beyond belief.

So then I thought perhaps it was an alien workin' on crop circles who took a wrong turn.

But that made no sense once I rethunk it.

Rethunk...

MOUSES!

Then rocky raccoons came to mind.  They've had their eyes on those bird feeders for a while now.  But could a raccoon, even a chubby one, squish a metal acorn feeder like that?

Probably not.

So now I'm wonderin'...

NOW I'M WONDERIN'...

NOW I'M WONDERIN' if it was that big ol' bear some peeps have seen wanderin' about.  Could that bear have been visitin' my house late last night?

And if so, WHY THE MOUSES DIDN'T HE BRING ME PREZZIES?  ARE BEARS NOT TAUGHT PROPER ETIQUETTE WHEN THEY'RE YOUNG?

Who the mouses goes to dinner at someone's house without bringin' a gift for the host!

Of all the nerve.

A little bottle of nip wine would have been nice.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

how rude

So I was walkin' down the hallway the other day, when I kinda sensed someone lurking behind me.  Spinning 'round on my paws I exclaimed, "HOW RUDE."

The peep, bein' a peep, didn't apologize or anythin'.

MOUSES!

Peeps, they have no sense of civility at all. Why, I have more civility in just one of my little claws, than most peeps have in their entire bodies.  MOUSES!

Of course, ol' Peepers here tried to defend her actions.

"Yeah, yeah," and I glared at the peep. "Just 'cause a cat can look at a queen, it doesn't mean you can look at me."

"Why not, you ask, oh furless one? 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT A CAT.  MOUSES!"

Sometimes you've gotta explain the little details to the peeps.

And even then they're not likely to understand.

MOUSES!

"What?  WHAT?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?"

"Oh.  That.  Well..."

"Well while it may be true that if peeps were to go around sniffin' other peeps...  You know...  Parts unknown, the same thing does not hold true for us cats."

"Don't complain to me, Peepers.  It's just the way of the world.  A cat's gonna do, what a cat's gonna do.  Fact is, when you live in a multi-cat household, the time is gonna come when you're gonna see some cat sniffin' some other cat's butt.  Just be thankful we don't go around sniffin' yours.  MOUSES!"

Like I said, sometimes you've gotta explain the little details to the peeps.

And you've ALWAYS gotta explain the big ones to 'em, for sure.  MOUSES!

You know, rudeness comes in all forms.  Peeps starin' at cats - thinkin' they're entitled to stare - is especially rude, but they can be rude in other ways, too.  Why just the other day...

Just the other day, Peep #1 was whippin' up some cream and she didn't even bother to ask me if I'd like a spot.  Now if that isn't rude, what is?

"What?  WHAT?  What are you babblin' on about now?"

"Look Peepers, I may BE lactose intolerant, and maybe I CAN'T have any cream, but what harm would it do for you to ask if I'd like some?  You know, to offer me a little somethin' special, so that I might politely refuse?"

Like I said, peeps, they're as rude as rude can be. MOUSES!

And speakin' of rude...

Oh.  Wait a minute.  That might have been me.  MOUSES!

Anyway...

Anyway, like I was sayin', peeps are as rude as all get out, but there is NOTHIN' rude about one cat sniffin' another cat's butt.

Well, sometimes...  Yeah, SOMETIMES the cat whose butt is bein' sniffed....  Well sometimes that cat might disagree.  But honestly, butt sniffin'?  It's just somethin' we cats do.  And somethin' we cats ARE GONNA CONTINUE to do, no matter what their peeps might say.

"What?  WHAT?  Peepers, are you STILL babblin' on about silly nonsensical nonsense?"

"No.  Not at all.  Not even in the least.  Do I have to explain EVERYTHIN' to you?"

You know, it's a real wonder that ol' Peepers here can get herself up and dressed in the mornings. MOUSES!

"Okay Peepers, I'll explain.  It's like this.  When a cat is walkin' about the room with his tail held high, it's on account of said cat feelin' confident.  Now if said cat should happen to hop up onto the chesterfield or somethin', and accidentally turn 'round so that his butt ends up in your face, said cat is not bein' rude at all."

"On the contrary, it's more like uh...  Ummm...  Well..."

"Well it's more like a situation of your face bein' in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Speakin' of which...  Like I said before, it's not polite to stare.  So although I'm not bein' rude if I should happen to accidentally stick my butt in your face, you are most certainly bein' VERY rude if you should happen to stare at my butt."

"For mousin' out loud, woman.  IF YOU DON'T WANT MY BUTT IN YOUR FACE, TURN YOUR FACE AROUND!"

"It's bad enough you're always pokin' around in our litter boxes.  Do you see us pokin' around in yours?"

I'm tellin' ya, that ol' peep of mine is the VERY DEFINITION of rudeness, for sure.  MOUSES!