dirty laundry

You know, it's never a good idea to go 'round AIRING your dirty laundry.  It's neither a ladylike, nor a gentlemanly thing to do.

MOUSES!

And that is exactly what I told the first peep.

MOUSES!

She responded by sayin', she wasn't airin' her dirty laundry, but rather, dryin' the clean stuff.

I, of course, responded by pointin' out all the cat hair on two of her t-shirts, explainin' that a t-shirt covered with cat hair wasn't very clean at all.

MOUSES!

And let me tell you, you DON'T wanna hear her answer to that.  Personally, I tuned out after the first couple of sentences, but when I tuned back in, five minutes later, she appeared to be repeatin' those first couple sentences all over again.

Glad I didn't listen to all the sentences in between.

MOUSES!

So anyway, you're probably wonderin' why I'm even talkin' about dirty laundry, 'cause it's not like we cats have laundry to do.

Well actually, we do bathe.  We just don't wear clothes or in other words, laundry.

Although sometimes....

No, I'm not suggestin' we sometimes wear clothes.  I know I had that close call with the knitted hat business the other day, but luckily for me, I escaped that clothes-wearin' escapade with my pants on.

I mean, off

I mean, I DON'T WEAR PANTS.

MOUSES!

And you know somethin', my near knitted hat escape was lucky for the peep, too, on account of my claws.

But seriously folks...

Seriously, I've been noticing Anderson and Rushton have been walkin' about, STRUTTIN' THEIR STUFF, with their tails held WAY UP IN THE AIR, as of late, and...

AND I'M STARTIN' TO THINK, THEY'RE AIRIN' OUT LAUNDRY!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin', when a cat walks about with his tail held high, it's a sign of a confident cat, for sure.  And normally, I would be in total agreement with that.   I've done it myself.  On more than one occasion, too.  In fact, I do it practically every day, but...

BUT ANDY AND RUSHY ARE DOIN' IT MORE OFTEN THAN ME.

Or is that I?

Me?

Nope, I'm pretty sure it's I.

MOUSES!

Anyway...

So anyway, THERE'S NO WAY ANDY AND RUSHY CAN BE MORE CONFIDENT THAN I AM.

MOUSES!

So in other words, I'm pretty sure what they're really doin', is airin' out their bums and that, my friends, is the kitty equivalent of airin' out laundry.

Of course, their laundry isn't dirty 'cause they do keep their bums pretty clean.

Most of the time.

Not that I keep track of such things.

MOUSES!

But you know...

Now that I think about it, they do have cat hair 'round about there.

So maybe...

Maybe, when Peep #1 hung up those t-shirts that came out of the wash covered in as much cat hair as they had goin' in...

Maybe she wasn't airin' her dirty laundry at all.

MAYBE she was doin' the peep equivalent to a cat walkin' about with his or her tail held high.

Not that the peep has a tail.

I don't think.

MOUSES!

how rude

So I was walkin' down the hallway the other day, when I kinda sensed someone lurking behind me.  Spinning 'round on my paws I exclaimed, "HOW RUDE."

The peep, bein' a peep, didn't apologize or anythin'.

MOUSES!

Peeps, they have no sense of civility at all. Why, I have more civility in just one of my little claws, than most peeps have in their entire bodies.  MOUSES!

Of course, ol' Peepers here tried to defend her actions.

"Yeah, yeah," and I glared at the peep. "Just 'cause a cat can look at a queen, it doesn't mean you can look at me."

"Why not, you ask, oh furless one? 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT A CAT.  MOUSES!"

Sometimes you've gotta explain the little details to the peeps.

And even then they're not likely to understand.

MOUSES!

"What?  WHAT?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?"

"Oh.  That.  Well..."

"Well while it may be true that if peeps were to go around sniffin' other peeps...  You know...  Parts unknown, the same thing does not hold true for us cats."

"Don't complain to me, Peepers.  It's just the way of the world.  A cat's gonna do, what a cat's gonna do.  Fact is, when you live in a multi-cat household, the time is gonna come when you're gonna see some cat sniffin' some other cat's butt.  Just be thankful we don't go around sniffin' yours.  MOUSES!"

Like I said, sometimes you've gotta explain the little details to the peeps.

And you've ALWAYS gotta explain the big ones to 'em, for sure.  MOUSES!

You know, rudeness comes in all forms.  Peeps starin' at cats - thinkin' they're entitled to stare - is especially rude, but they can be rude in other ways, too.  Why just the other day...

Just the other day, Peep #1 was whippin' up some cream and she didn't even bother to ask me if I'd like a spot.  Now if that isn't rude, what is?

"What?  WHAT?  What are you babblin' on about now?"

"Look Peepers, I may BE lactose intolerant, and maybe I CAN'T have any cream, but what harm would it do for you to ask if I'd like some?  You know, to offer me a little somethin' special, so that I might politely refuse?"

Like I said, peeps, they're as rude as rude can be. MOUSES!

And speakin' of rude...

Oh.  Wait a minute.  That might have been me.  MOUSES!

Anyway...

Anyway, like I was sayin', peeps are as rude as all get out, but there is NOTHIN' rude about one cat sniffin' another cat's butt.

Well, sometimes...  Yeah, SOMETIMES the cat whose butt is bein' sniffed....  Well sometimes that cat might disagree.  But honestly, butt sniffin'?  It's just somethin' we cats do.  And somethin' we cats ARE GONNA CONTINUE to do, no matter what their peeps might say.

"What?  WHAT?  Peepers, are you STILL babblin' on about silly nonsensical nonsense?"

"No.  Not at all.  Not even in the least.  Do I have to explain EVERYTHIN' to you?"

You know, it's a real wonder that ol' Peepers here can get herself up and dressed in the mornings. MOUSES!

"Okay Peepers, I'll explain.  It's like this.  When a cat is walkin' about the room with his tail held high, it's on account of said cat feelin' confident.  Now if said cat should happen to hop up onto the chesterfield or somethin', and accidentally turn 'round so that his butt ends up in your face, said cat is not bein' rude at all."

"On the contrary, it's more like uh...  Ummm...  Well..."

"Well it's more like a situation of your face bein' in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Speakin' of which...  Like I said before, it's not polite to stare.  So although I'm not bein' rude if I should happen to accidentally stick my butt in your face, you are most certainly bein' VERY rude if you should happen to stare at my butt."

"For mousin' out loud, woman.  IF YOU DON'T WANT MY BUTT IN YOUR FACE, TURN YOUR FACE AROUND!"

"It's bad enough you're always pokin' around in our litter boxes.  Do you see us pokin' around in yours?"

I'm tellin' ya, that ol' peep of mine is the VERY DEFINITION of rudeness, for sure.  MOUSES!