I know that many of you have been wonderin' how Peepers has been dealin' with her hair these past forty-seven weeks of this here pandemic. Wonderin' to the point of bein' driven crazy, I should think. Wonderin' how on earth Peepers has been copin'!
And I KNOW you've been wonderin' because pals have been askin', Has she snuck out to the hair dresser durin' all that time? Or, Has she attempted cuttin' it herself? And, Is it all tied up in a gigantic messy ol' ball? AND EVEN, Is she givin' ol' Rapunzel a run for her money?
Seriously, pals HAVE been askin'. They've been askin' me these very things. I've been fendin' off these questions for an eternity, for sure.
Well for two hundred and fifty-five million, eight hundred and thirty thousand, four hundred cat seconds, at least.
MOUSES!
And I understand why pals have been askin'. I mean, it's not like Peepers' hair does the sensible thing and falls out when it gets to a certain length like my gorgeous orange furs.
Nope. No sirree. Peepers does not shed.
Although she has been known to leave a trail of cookie crumbs from the kitchen to my office.
MOUSES!
But back to the peep's stupid ol' hair.
So the deal is, Peep #2 has been cuttin' Peep #1's hair.
And BOTH have survived.
So far.
MOUSES!
'Bout a week ago or so, was the most recent time one of these hair cuttin' events took place. The last few times were uneventful. Or maybe I just wasn't payin' attention and didn't know what went on, on account of my not usually givin' a rat's tail 'bout ol' Peepers' hair, but...
But this last time...
This last time...
Well...
Well this last time, Peepers was in the kitchen, and Peep #2 had the scissors in paw, and I heard...
I heard...
I heard...
Chomp. Chomp. Chomp.
Yup, that's just what I heard.
MOUSES!
Seriously, it sounded exactly like that. Sounded like scissors cuttin' through thick fabric or somethin' at a rather fast pace.
I'VE HEARD PEEP #1 PRUNE A SHRUB WITH MORE CARE!
MOUSES!
And then I heard Peep #2's voice. "Oh no," is what was said.
Not a good sound, my friends. NOT A GOOD SOUND!
Especially if you happen to be a peep.
I quickly ran into the kitchen and saw half a peep lyin' dead on the floor.
Okay, so I saw just half of Peepers' hair, but nevertheless...
Nevertheless...
Well long story short, no pun intended, Peepers' hair is back up in that stupid ponytail of hers, where it will stay, away from the pryin' eyes of others, and where mistakes can be hidden.
And the lesson to be learned, is....
WHAT GOES ON IN THE PONYTAIL, STAYS IN THE PONYTAIL
MOUSES!
Good thing Peepers has that entire drawer full of hair scrunchies, you know? She's gonna need 'em, for sure.
MOUSES!
Remember to mask up, too.
