Hey Peepers! You missed a spot. Let me help you with that.There. All done. You're good to go.
What's that, Peepers? What? What did I do?
NO, I did not brush any loose cat hair off your black jacket. Don't be silly, Peepers. Why the mouses would I do that?
Truth be told, I added some more.
Yeah, that's right. That's what I said. I added a little more loose cat hair to the back of your jacket. You can thank me later.
What's that, Peepers? Why? Why did I do that?
Are you hard of hearin' or somethin', woman?
I SAID, ARE YOU HARD OF HEARIN' OR SOMETHIN'?
Did you not hear what I said before?
I SAID, DID YOU NOT HEAR WHAT I SAID BEFORE?
Oh my mouses. Sometimes I really wonder 'bout you, Peepers.
Like I said, you had missed a spot.
Do I have to spell it out for you or somethin'? I said, you had missed a spot. YOU HAD MISSED A SPOT. YOU. HAD. MISSED. A. SPOT. MOUSES!
For goodness sake, not only are you hard of hearin' these days, but apparently, you're not too good with the thinkin' stuff, either. Let me explain it to you.
I'm tellin' ya, it's like teachin' an infant how to walk before they can crawl. MOUSES!
Okay Peepers, when I saw you puttin' on your black jacket earlier, I happened to notice a rather large patch of black on your back, just below your right shoulder. A rather large, empty patch of black fabric, with no cat hair on it which, as you can imagine, looked kinda weird on account of there bein' cat hair all over the rest of the jacket.
SO BEIN' THE EVER-SO-HELPFUL KITTY THAT I AM, I took a few loose cat hairs from my gorgeous marmalade fur, and stuck 'em onto your jacket. You know, in order to make that bare patch look a little less bare, and a little more like the rest.
Don't stare at me with your mouth wide open, Peepers. It's not a good look.
Anyway... Clearly, when you were usin' that sticky roller thingy on your jacket before, you forgot to glue some cat hair onto that bare patch.
What's that, Peepers? What? What's that you're babblin' about now?
YOU WHAT?
WHAT THE MOUSES ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT, WOMAN?
Peepers, are you sayin' that the sticky roller thingy is meant to REMOVE cat hair from your jacket? Remove it? Remove it as in, take it away? MOUSES!
Are you sure about that, Peepers? ARE YOU SURE?
'Cause in all honestly, I think the jacket looks way better with a few cat hairs on it, strategically placed here and there. You know, to decorate it and stuff.
WELL IF YOU DIDN'T WANT CAT HAIR ON YOUR JACKET, WHY THE MOUSES DID YOU LEAVE IT LYIN' ON THAT CHAIR SO WE CATS COULD SLEEP ON IT LIKE WE DID?
I mean, really. REALLY. I mean...
Oh my mouses, I don't know what I mean.
Peepers, you have me all confused now, too. One minute you're leavin' your jacket on a chair to be decorated with our loose hair, and the next minute, you're tryin' to get our beautiful cat hair, WHICH WE SO GRACIOUSLY DONATED TO THE CAUSE, off said jacket.
And may I add, if gettin' the cat hair off the jacket really was what you intended to do, you didn't do a very good job of it. There was only one bare patch. Only one. One as in only one more than none.
QUIT YOUR BABBLIN', WOMAN. You're makin' no sense at all.
Not to say you were makin' any sense before, but now you're makin' even less. Now you're just kinda crazed. Crazed like a crazy squirrel who has run out of nuts in the midst of makin' nut pies.
Not that YOU'VE run out of nuts. Oh no, and no sirree. Peepers, you're about as nutty as nutty can be.
Why Peepers, you're as nutty as the nuttiest mad hatter that ever there was, durin' a COMPETITION of mad hatters, all tryin' to outdo the other hatters, in a race to the finish line of maddening hattering madness.
And what the mouses is a hatter, anyway? Someone who wears hats? Nah, that can't be it. Someone who makes hats? Could be...
And would those hats made by those hatters, happen to be decorated with gorgeous loose cat hairs in dulcet shades of marmalade?Really Peepers, the flailing of arms thing is quite unbecoming.
Oh my mouses! PEEPERS! I see another spot. Yup, right there. Another bare spot, right under your left arm. I couldn't see it before. Not until your arms started flailing.
Here Peepers, let me help you with that second missed spot. MOUSES!
