Well, have you ever noticed how when you go to check your e-mails, it says there are like a thousand of 'em in there? Maybe more? Maybe closer to two?
Two THOUSAND, I mean. Not just two.
But in reality...
But in reality...
But in reality, it's way more than just two. Way more than two thousand, for sure.
MOUSES!
Gosh darn it, a kitty deletes a hundred e-mails and said kitty's number of unread e-mails goes down by three.
If you're lucky.
MOUSES!
That's why I don't do that, anymore.
Deletin' old e-mails, I mean.
No, now I just let 'em sit there in my inbox, buildin' up until...
Until I tell the peep to deal with those blasted things.
MOUSES!
So a few weeks back, I put her to work. Yup, I told the ol' peep to plunk her tail down on my chair, and start deletin' my mail.
MOUSES!
I did have concerns, mind you. Yup, I had concerns she'd actually READ some of my mail. Mail is supposed to be private, you see.
But then I realised, with the amount of mail I had - the amount of mail I had sittin' there, pilin' up day after day, week after week, month after month - there's no way she'd be able to read all of it, all at once. I mean, I didn't read most of it, myself, and I had months on end to attend to it all. Nah, she'd never, ever have time to read all my unread mail.
And I was right! I went to check on her at one point, and saw she was in some kinda trance. She was starin' off in the distance, eyes all glazed over. She looked like she might be fallin' asleep. And the only sounds in the room were click, click, click, click, click. Clickety clickety click. Nothin' but clicks.
MOUSES!
A few hours later...
That's what I said: a few HOURS later, I checked in on her, again.
Unread e-mails were down to one thousand, four hundred and ninety-one.
MOUSES!
And by the next day...
Yup, by the next day...
Yeah, I had to give her a break. Even a peep needs to get a good night's sleep, now and then.
So by the end of the next day, unread e-mails were down to one hundred and thirty-three.
Well, THEIR version of one hundred and thirty-three. More like several hundred and thirty-three, I suppose, on account of every time she erased forty or so, there were still forty more to go!
*sighs*
But by the end of the day after that, there were no more unread e-mails to be read.
And HALLELUJAH! I said.
Just before rewardin' the peep a cup of tea and a slice of nicely buttered bread.
NO, I had not licked the butter off, first.
Although truth be told, it did cross my mind.
Hey, I'm a cat! We cats like a slice of well-buttered bread.
Skippin' the bread, of course.
MOUSES!
And now, after doin' all that hard work...
After all that hard work...
YES, it WAS hard work, makin' sure the ol' peep completed her job.
So now, after my doin' all that hard work, my e-mail clean-up job was finished, once and for all.
And you'll be very interested in knowin' that since then, I've managed to keep it under control. No unread e-mails. No deleted e-mails needin' to be deleted, permanently. All that is over with and done.
And to tell you the truth, those three or so days of work really paid off. I really do need to pat myself on the back. I should get myself a treat or somethin'. Maybe order somethin' nippy or fishy or somethin' like that.
And for goodness sakes, boy-oh-boy, do I ever need a nap.
MOUSES!
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