told you

Told you, Peepers.  I told you.  You were sittin' right there in that chair when I TOLD you.

But did you listen to your darlin' Seville, ol' peep of mine?  DID you?

OH NO...  No, you wouldn't dream of listenin', would you?  Why, it felt like you were actually ignorin' me.

MOUSES!

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

Say WHAT?  You're sayin' that you did, in fact, hear what I said but thought...

You thought WHAT?

Of all the no-good-for-nothin' things for a peep to think.

And of your own darlin', ginger-furred kitty.

How could you?

MOUSES!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin' that I, Seville the Cat, told Peepers somethin' which she chose to ignore and then, as if that wasn't bad enough, did somethin' far worse.

The peep, I mean.  It was the peep who did somethin' far worse, whatever that might be, and now...

And now...

Awww....  MOUSES!

Okay, so here's the deal: The other night, I heard a noise.  I told the peep I heard said noise AND I THOUGHT she was ignorin' me.  But in reality...

But in reality...

But in reality, she did somethin' far worse.  Apparently, Peepers didn't so much ignore me as she did question what I was hearin'.

'Cause SHE heard it, too.

And do you know what she did?

She blamed me.

ME!

The most wonderful and innocent kitty a peep could ever know.

ME.

MOUSES!

And if not me, Saffron, I suppose.

MOUSES!

So here's the rest of the deal: When Peepers went out the next mornin', she found the green bin lyin' on the ground with its contents scattered all over the driveway.

And let me tell you somethin', my wonderful pals: I, Seville the Cat, DID. NOT. DO. THAT.

Never done such a naughty thing in all my nine lives.

MOUSES!

You just be quiet over there, ol' peep of mine.  When I say I've never done anythin' that naughty, I MEAN, I'VE NEVER EVER DONE ANYTHIN' THAT NAUGHTY IN ALL MY NINE LIVES.  And might I suggest you take me at my word.

MOUSES!

Besides, I couldn't knock that ol' green bin over, even if I tried.  It's pretty big, you see.  And quite heavy.  And when there's stuff in it, the weight is all concentrated at the bottom, so knockin' it over is really, really hard, and...

NEVER YOU MIND HOW I KNOW, PEEPERS.

Yeah, well what sounds like experience to you is uh...

Umm...

Nothin' more than an educated guess.

Like I said, NEVER YOU MIND.

By gosh and by golly, a cat makes several dozen prior attempts to knock a loaded green bin down, and fails, but when the green bin IS eventually knocked to the ground, it's the innocent kitty who ends up bein' accused and interrogated.

MOUSES!

So what was it that knocked that ol' green bin down, you ask?

Probably raccoons.  Maybe a bear.  Or quite possibly - and, in fact, most likely - ALIENS.

Those little green fellers get up to all sorts of trouble when you leave 'em unsupervised.

Fact.

MOUSES!