woof

Woof.

Nope.

Woof woof.

Nope, not that, either.

Woof woof woof, woof woof woof woof.

Better, I suppose.

Woof woof woof woof woof, woof woof woof woof woof woof woof, woof woof woof woof woof, woof woof woof; then take a breath and start all over again.

Now that's more like it, for sure.

MOUSES!

You ever notice...  Have you ever noticed, my friends, how dogs really like to woof?

Woof... bark... whatever.

MOUSES!

And they don't seem to care about what or at whom they're barkin'.  They just like to bark.  And bark and bark and bark.

MOUSES!

Why just the other night, there were some doggies barkin' in my neighbourhood.  And they were barkin' a lot.  And it was loud!  Woke me right up, for sure.

Okay, so truthfully meowin', the barkin' WOULD have woken me up had I been asleep.

But I wasn't.

Asleep, that is.

I was totally wide awake.

But the barkin' was loud enough to awaken any cat who wasn't.

You know, already awake.

MOUSES!

Now I have no idea who those doggies were.  And I have no idea at whom they were barkin'.  Maybe a deer.  Maybe a skunk.  Maybe even at their own shadows!

Dogs do that, you know.  Bark at their own shadows, I mean.

At least that's what I've heard.

MOUSES!

What I DO know is that they weren't barkin' at me.

This time.

I don't think.

Nope, they definitely weren't barkin' at me.  And I can say that with absolute certainty on account of the fact that I, Seville the Cat, was inside.  As was Saffy.  And so were the peeps.  So no one in my family was makin' those doggies bark.

This time.

MOUSES!

But speakin' of doggies barkin' at cats...

So we happen to have a couple neighbourly neighbour dogs.  They're neighbours 'cause they kinda live next door.  And they're NEIGHBOURLY 'cause they like to say hello.

A lot.

Woof woof, woof woof woof!

MOUSES!

They used to woof at Peepers all the time, whenever they saw her out in the yard, but they don't do that anymore.  Peepers says it's 'cause they're used to her now.  I SAY it's 'cause they don't like the look of her and therefore want nothin' to do with her, at all.

One of us is probably right.

I'm bettin' it's me.

It usually is.

MOUSES!

But Saffy?  Oh, they sure do like the look of him.  They bark at Saffron a lot.

At least one of 'em does.

PROBABLY on account of Saffron's habit of sittin' near the edge of our property and glarin'...  I mean, starin'.  I MEAN glancin'...  Yeah, that's what I mean.  Glacin'.  Saffy sits there, right near the edge of our property and demurely glances in the direction of the doggy who happens to be tied up on a lead, and the next thing you know...

A CACOPHANY OF BARKIN' ENSUES.

And Saffy just sits there 'til the barkin' dies down.

THEN HE STRIKES ANOTHER POSE.

And the barkin' starts up all over again.

MOUSES!

Why, I've never heard a doggy bark so loudly or so much.

'Cept, of course, the day BOTH doggies were barkin' at two peeps ridin' horsies out on the road.

Of course, you can't blame the doggies for barkin' at horsies.  I mean, I'D bark at horsies, myself!

If I were inclined to bark.

IF I were a dog.

But as I'm neither of those, I'd be more likely to run like the dickens to find a good spot to hide.

HAVE YOU ANY IDEA JUST HOW BIG HORSIES CAN BE?

MOUSES!

Which brings me to some questions I was gonna ask the peep but forgot, so I'll ask you all, instead.

Where do horsies poop?  Do they have litter boxes?  Or do they poop right out on the road?  And if it's the latter, who scoops up and baggies their poop?

'CAUSE I'M TELLIN' YOU RIGHT NOW, IT'S NEVER GONNA BE ME.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.