it wasn't me

It wasn't me, Peepers.  It wasn't me!

No, seriously, it wasn't me.  I didn't even think of doin' anythi....

Okay, so maybe I did.  MAYBE I did THINK 'bout doin' what you're accusin' me of doin'.  But thinking 'bout doin' somethin' and actually doin' that same somethin' are TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT things.  TOTALLY!

Different, I mean.

It wasn't me!

STOP LOOKIN' AT ME LIKE THAT, PEEPERS.  Stop lookin' at me with that accusatory kinda look.  I swear on all my nine lives, it really and truly wasn't me.

And to tell you the truth, I don't think it was Saffy, either.

Why?

Well...

Well firstly, I'm pretty sure had Saffron done somethin' that bad, he would have told me all about it.

Darn cat likes to brag, you see.

MOUSES!

But the real reason I don't think Saffy did it is that he, like me, lacks the opposable kinda thumbs.

MOUSES!

What?

Well...

Well you see, Peepers, in order to pick up plants in their plant pots and move 'em about on the deck without knocking 'em over and messing 'em up, I'm pretty sure one needs the manipulative dexterity of opposable thumbs.  Saffy and I don't have those, you see.  And although we COULD, possibly, put our front paws together and wrap 'em 'round the pots to lift 'em and move 'em and stuff, that would be pretty darned hard.

Not that we're incapable of doin' hard stuff, mind you, but doin' hard stuff requires a lot of effort and if you're gonna put that much effort into somethin', it's best to do somethin' that's gonna get you treats or nip or whatever, as a reward.

MOUSES!

So Peepers, I'm pretty sure what you're lookin' for is a peep.

MOUSES!

That's what I said, Peepers.  That's what I said.  I'm bettin' some peep is the culprit at paw...  I mean, HAND.  Yup, I'm bettin' some peep has been sneakin' into our backyard and pickin' potted pepper plants up out of their trays and moving 'em about.  Moving 'em over a few inches here and a foot or two there.  Moving 'em just about everywhere!

Of course, it's very good off this peep - whomever he or she is - to keep the plants upright and stuff and not damage 'em at all.  Goodness knows what kinda screamin' Saffy and I would have to put up with if they had damaged your plants.  We're havin' to put up with a lotta foul language as it is.

Never heard a peep yell MOUSES! so much in all my nine lives.

MOUSES!

But bein' good not to damage the plants aside, it IS rather disturbin' to think some stranger peep is lurkin' about, uninvited, in my backyard.  Remember last summer when we had that issue of that neighbourhood peep snoopin' and wanderin' about in our driveway all the time?  Think it could be him?

Yeah, you're right.  I haven't seen him here in a while; and thank goodness for that.

Personally, I think Peepers scared him off that day she went out with her hair especially messed up.

MOUSES!

Peepers, we appear to have a real mystery on our paws, to be sure.

But on the other paw...

On the other paw, go take a gander out the back door, would ya?  Peepers, do you see what I'm seein' out there?

Yup, yup...

Uh-huh, uh-huh...

Well I was right 'bout the need of opposable thumbs.

But then I, Seville the Cat, am ALWAYS right, to be sure.

Apparently, it's not just peeps who have those kinda thumbs.   Turns out, raccoons have 'em, too!  And I would never have believed it had I not seen it with my own eyes, but an opposable thumb weildin' raccoon is able to lift a potted pepper plant right outta its tray, set it aside, and drink the water left behind.

Who knew?

MOUSES!

You better watch out there, Peepers.  Main reason Saffy and I keep you around is those opposable thumbs of yours, and your ability to use 'em to open tins.  Turns out, we could always replace you with a raccoon.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!