You snooze, you lose, Peepers. You snooze, you lose.
I know, I know... I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin' Peepers missed the boat and lost her spot on the family room chesterfield. Yup, you're thinkin' she lost that spot to me.
Well, my dear pals...
That would be wrong.
You see, Peepers doesn't have a spot on the family room chesterfield. The family room chesterfield belongs to me. Me as in me, Seville the Cat; just like everythin' else here in this house. Therefore, Peepers doesn't actually have a spot to lose.
Basically, I allow the peeps to join me on the... I mean, MY chesterfield.
No, she didn't lose her spot to Saffron, either.
Again, I must point out the flaw in that logic on account of her not havin' a spot in the first place.
But she did miss the boat, I'm afraid. Yup, she missed the boat, train, and the ferry - not to mention any other modes of transport one might miss - even though she wasn't actually travellin' anywhere.
It's just an expression, you see.
But she did miss what she missed on account of her snoozin'.
Picture it: my house - emphasis on the MY - late last week.
Peep #1, aka Peepers, walks into the kitchen and spots the box of little candy canes left over from Christmas on the kitchen counter. It's on its side.
The box, I mean, and not the peep.
So anyway, the box is on its side with its bottom facin' outward. Peepers thinks to herself that she might have a candy cane. After all, in the two and a half months or so since Christmas, she has had not a one. In fact, she doesn't even know if the box has been opened.
Now imagine her surprise when she finds that the box has, in fact, been opened. Not only that, but it no longer contains one hundred candy canes as it originally did. Not ninety-nine or ninety-eight, either. In fact, the box once containing ONE HUNDRED little candy canes now contains...
Wait for it....
That's right, my friends. There were TWO candy canes left in the now almost empty box.
So Peep #1 says somethin' to Peep #2 and is told she should go to the store to get some more; but Peepers replies, "You can't buy candy canes in March. They only sell them at Christmas."
Then Peep #2 says, "Oh. Well I guess you should have had some before."
Now Peep #1, bein' a peep, and a pretty stupid one at that...
NO, I'm not makin' disparagin' remarks 'bout my peep. I'm simply statin' a fact. 'Cause if Peepers were smart she would have snatched those last two candy canes right up.
But did she?
Instead, Peepers put the box back down and left in a huff.
Now a little while later...
Maybe an hour, or two.
A little while later, Peepers returned to get one of those two candy canes to eat, but...
BUT THE LAST TWO CANDY CANES WERE GONE.
Can you believe it?
Of course, you can.
Like I said, stupid.
Just like a peep.
Just like MY peep.
And this, my friends, is why I NEVER leave my temptin' treats lyin' about. I mean, if one of my peeps were to spot an open bag of catnip or tuna or chicken treats just lyin' there on the counter, waitin' to be eaten...
My gosh and my golly, I can't even bear the thought.
IF IN DOUBT,
DON'T. GO. OUT.
Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures
AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.