Today is special, my friends. Today is a very special day, for sure, for today is the DAY OF THE BOX.
IT'S BOXING DAY, today!
Yeah, yeah, I know. It's also ninety-three weeks.
So sure, I've spent the last five hundred and six million, two hundred and seventeen thousand, six hundred cats seconds of this ol' pandemic thingy cooped up with the peeps, but do you know what?
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU KNOW WHAT?
Today is the day when I'm not gonna let that bother me. Nope, I'm not gonna let that bother me one bit, FOR TODAY IS THE DAY when I shall spend all seven hundred and seventy-seven thousand, six hundred cat seconds of the day, SITTIN' in a BOX.
WHERE ELSE WOULD ONE RATHER BE?
Nowhere, for sure.
Now I know some peeps out there might be thinkin' that Boxin' Day has other meanings, but you know somethin', my friends?
THEY WOULD BE WRONG.
'Cause when it comes to boxes, us cats know what's right and what's wrong. SO WHEN IT COMES TO BOXIN' DAY, us cats know what's right about that, too!
And by extension, also what's wrong.
Although technically, when you really think about the situation clearly, us cats know what's best about EVERYTHING, 'cause you know...
Not our fault we cats are smarter than peeps.
So today is the day when all cats need to grab a handy box and...
Well jump right in it, my friends!
Scratch that. First, before you jump into your box, you should really inspect it bit, makin' sure it's clean and pristine.
You know, that sorta thing.
Nothin' worse than jumpin' into a dirty box, my friends. Nothin' worse!
Scratch that. NOT HAVIN' a box into which you can jump is actually worse than jumpin' into a dirty one but nevertheless, no one wants to have to have a bath on account of gettin' all dirtied up 'cause some stupid peep filled your Boxin' Day Box with dirt and stuff. When a cat jumps into a box, havin' a bath is not the first thing a cat wants to do!
No sirree, first thing a cat wants to do after jumpin' into his or her Boxin' Day Box is have a nap.
I know this from personal experience, I do.
Plus, I watched a documentary 'bout it on TV.
Cats have those, you know. Boxin' Day dreams, I mean. We dream about boxes a lot.
Remember to mask up, too.