Wednesday 4 August 2021

NO!


No.  No, Peepers, NO.


I said, NO!


Peepers, I already told you no, and I meant it.  We are not adoptin' that...  That....  Him.  We are not adoptin' HIMNO!


Because...  Because he's a squirrel?  Well, chipmunk, I mean.  Clearly, that's no squirrel.


MOUSES!


Peepers, you have any idea how much ribbin' I'd get from the neighbourhood cats if I were to have a chipmunk brother?  Any idea?  ANY?


Didn't think you did.  I'd tell you how much ribbin' I'd get if I had a few hundred years on my paws in which to do it.  Yup, it would take that long, ol' peep of mine.  THAT'S how much ribbin' there'd be.


MOUSES!


I DON'T CARE if the little guy is cute.  HE'S A CHIPMUNK!  A rodent, in other words.


MOUSES!


Well don't complain to me.  YOU'RE the one who started leavin' pawfuls of peanuts and sunflower seeds here and there and practically everywhere.  YOU'RE the one who left that food in that there flower bed after seein' little ol' chippy and thinkin' he might be hungry.  YOU'RE the one who has encouraged that rodent to stick around.


And let me tell you somethin', Peepers: where there's one...


That's right, I bet that guy has a family.


And now they're all gonna be wantin' peanuts and sunflower seeds, too!


AND NO, WE'RE NOT ADOPTIN' THEM, EITHER.


MOUSES!


Peepers, it's like this:  Uh...


Um...


Hmmm...


Okay, it's like this: you feed 'em, they're yours, BUT...


BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE 'EM FAMILY, OR MEAN THEY CAN MOVE INTO MY HOUSE.  Like I said, I'm not introducin' Chip the Chipmunk as my long lost brother, or my brother from another mother, or my...


I'M NOT INTRODUCIN' THAT RODENT TO ANYONE!


'Cause it's embarrassin', that's why.  Do you know what other cats would say?  DO you?


Well I'll tell you what they'd say.  They'd say, your peep adopted your dinner?  Or, your supper became your brother?  Or...


Well, you know...  That sorta thing.


And then they'd all laugh.


At me.


MOUSES!


It's one thing if they're laughin' at you, Peepers, but havin' my pals laugh at ME?


Cats don't like bein' laughed at, you see.


MOUSES!


I'm puttin' my paw down...  NO, I'm puttin' ALL FOUR of my paws down, and stipulatin' that there will be no adoptin' of rodents by my family.  AND I DON'T CARE IF THEY'RE CUTE RODENTS.  Rodents are rodents and that's that.


Look Peepers, that there chipmunk is just one step up from a mouse, and...



What's that look in your eye?  What's that glimmer?  What's that...


NO, YOU'RE NOT ADOPTIN' ANY MICE, EITHER.


MOUSES!


***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

9 comments:

  1. WOW Seville, you sure have you paws full with that one!

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  2. That's a sorry state of affairs at your place, Seville!

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  3. I'm lucky my human doesn't feed anything but the outside kitties, who we are trying to TNR (and who already have a home with our neighbor, if they ever want one). Because who knows what would happen if she did?!

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  4. I'm laughing at you Seville. I mean, NOT laughing at you. Doesn't the peep know that you can't adopt rodents?

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  5. "Your supper became your brother." MOL. Sorry, Sivvers, that made us laugh. But seriously, having a chippy as a brother *would* be, well, awkward, to say the least!

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  6. Definitely need to put your paw down right now (possibly on Chip) else who knows where the saga might end! A mouse called Maureen, and Elk called Ellie, and a bear call Brian might all be taking up lodgings at your place!
    Toodle pips and purrs
    ERin

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  7. We do understand, Seville, really, we do. Why! WE have a WOOFIE uncle!
    Sometimes, We have to accept some furry strange things! Things that, at first glance seem almost unnatural! But you get used to it...

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  8. dood.....for reelz....noe way.. hay nay.. say sew ...any way.....noe rodentz at yur familee ree union.....and bye de way...why iz peeperz spendin CASH MONEE on SEED, when her shuld bee spendin it...on EWE ~~~~~~~ !!!! :) ♥♥

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  9. Seville I see the problem right off you will always have a bit of an urge to grab him with a Bitey and he will always have an urge to get out of dodge. No it wont work Peepers face facts! Cats are carnivores and chippies are dinner!

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I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.