No. No, Peepers, NO.
I said, NO!
Peepers, I already told you no, and I meant it. We are not adoptin' that... That.... Him. We are not adoptin' HIM. NO!
Because... Because he's a squirrel? Well, chipmunk, I mean. Clearly, that's no squirrel.
Peepers, you have any idea how much ribbin' I'd get from the neighbourhood cats if I were to have a chipmunk brother? Any idea? ANY?
Didn't think you did. I'd tell you how much ribbin' I'd get if I had a few hundred years on my paws in which to do it. Yup, it would take that long, ol' peep of mine. THAT'S how much ribbin' there'd be.
I DON'T CARE if the little guy is cute. HE'S A CHIPMUNK! A rodent, in other words.
Well don't complain to me. YOU'RE the one who started leavin' pawfuls of peanuts and sunflower seeds here and there and practically everywhere. YOU'RE the one who left that food in that there flower bed after seein' little ol' chippy and thinkin' he might be hungry. YOU'RE the one who has encouraged that rodent to stick around.
And let me tell you somethin', Peepers: where there's one...
That's right, I bet that guy has a family.
And now they're all gonna be wantin' peanuts and sunflower seeds, too!
AND NO, WE'RE NOT ADOPTIN' THEM, EITHER.
Peepers, it's like this: Uh...
Okay, it's like this: you feed 'em, they're yours, BUT...
BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE 'EM FAMILY, OR MEAN THEY CAN MOVE INTO MY HOUSE. Like I said, I'm not introducin' Chip the Chipmunk as my long lost brother, or my brother from another mother, or my...
I'M NOT INTRODUCIN' THAT RODENT TO ANYONE!
'Cause it's embarrassin', that's why. Do you know what other cats would say? DO you?
Well I'll tell you what they'd say. They'd say, your peep adopted your dinner? Or, your supper became your brother? Or...
Well, you know... That sorta thing.
And then they'd all laugh.
It's one thing if they're laughin' at you, Peepers, but havin' my pals laugh at ME?
Cats don't like bein' laughed at, you see.
I'm puttin' my paw down... NO, I'm puttin' ALL FOUR of my paws down, and stipulatin' that there will be no adoptin' of rodents by my family. AND I DON'T CARE IF THEY'RE CUTE RODENTS. Rodents are rodents and that's that.
Look Peepers, that there chipmunk is just one step up from a mouse, and...
What's that look in your eye? What's that glimmer? What's that...
NO, YOU'RE NOT ADOPTIN' ANY MICE, EITHER.
Remember to mask up, too.