And neither did the peeps.
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY, EVERYBODY!
Now technically, the peeps didn't raise me to be a fool, 'cause they didn't raise me at all. My mama raised me, and my mama, my friends, was a cat.
I, on the other paw, may have had a paw in the raisin' of the peeps.
Well TRAINING, actually.
And speakin' of trainin' peeps...
YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD THAT IS?
I'm tellin' ya, just when a kitty thinks a kitty has his peeps all trained, said peeps go and prove him wrong.
Why just the other day...
Just the other day, I was luxuriating on the family room chesterfield when in came Peep #1. Now there was a WHOLE FLOOR - carpeted and everythin' - for her to sit upon, but did she consider sittin' on the floor?
No sirree. That ol' peep of mine PUSHED MY HIND LEGS out of her way, just so that she could sit on the couch.
The nerve, I tell you.
And then - get this - she started complainin'.
Just 'cause the peep only had room for part of her bum to be on the couch while I, Seville the Cat, was stretched out in such a way as to occupy two full cushions - minus the four inches or so of the cushion corner I was graciously and generously allowing her to use - did not give Peepers a right to complain.
Okay, so maybe I wasn't bein' all that gracious about it.
But I was bein' more than GENEROUS, for sure.
I mean, SERIOUSLY...
HOW MUCH CUSHION DOES ONE PEEP NEED?
And then after complainin' for what felt like AN ENTIRE one of my nine lives, Peepers decided to shove me over even further, all so that she could sit on more of the couch.
Well at first I thought it was Peepers' stupid idea of an April Fools joke.
But then I realised it COULDN'T be that, on account of this all happenin' yesterday evenin', and yesterday evenin' not yet bein' April Fools.
Of course, I'm not entirely convinced Peepers knows how to use a calendar properly.
So maybe she THOUGHT March 31st was April 1st, and thought last night was in fact, already April Fools.
MY mama didn't raise no fool.
But maybe Peepers' mama, did.
And remember peeps:
IF IN DOUBT,
DON'T. GO. OUT.
Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures.
AND KEEP ON WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.