Sunday, 1 March 2020

how rude

Don't think I didn't see that, Peepers.  Don't think I didn't see.  I saw it just fine.  I saw what you did, right now.  I saw what you did, for sure.

That's right, Peepers.  I SAW how you made a face when I breathed in your...

Well...

Face.

MOUSES!

Look Peepers, just because YOU don't like the aroma of fish breath, doesn't mean it doesn't smell good.

MOUSES!

Not my fault I just polished off a tin of tuna.

So okay, it IS kinda my fault, 'cause I did willingly eat the whole plate, but...

But the thing is...

The thing is, tuna breath is really not a bad thing!

MOUSES!

Not my fault you don't appreciate fine dining at its...

Well...

Finest.

MOUSES!

Look Peepers, aside from the fact that had you not picked me up to give me an excessive number of cuddles and kisses - And please note the word, EXCESSIVE PUH-LEASE! - I wouldn't even have breathed in your face.  And ergo, ipso facto, YOU wouldn't have smelled my tuna breath in the first place.

BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER, 'cause like I said before, tuna breath is not such a bad thing.  It basically means I ate tuna and I, Seville the Cat, LIKE eatin' tuna.  'Specially when you give me the good stuff: flaked albacore white packed in water, not oil, from the peep grocery store aisle.

SO BASICALLY, my tuna breath is nothin' short of a GLORIOUS thing.  Something to be cherished and relished on account of its very existence meaning I ate tuna, which is somethin' I LIKE to do, and...

Well...

Well MOUSES!

Besides, tuna breath is by far better than most kinda breaths.  Garlic breath, onion breath, that sorta thing.  You'll never catch MY breath stinkin' of onion.

MOUSES!

AND WHAT'S MORE...

What's more, screwin' up your nose like you did at the smell of my breath, no matter what kinda breath my breath might be, is rude.

RUDE.

RUDE, I tell you.

RUDE!

So don't go doin' it again, okay?

Okay.

MOUSES!

Hey Peepers, if you really wanna be helpful, how 'bout pawin' over a sprig of fresh nip or somethin' like that.  'CAUSE EVEN THOUGH I KNOW my tuna breath is just fine, nippy catnip breath is even better.

MOUSES!

8 comments:

  1. Surely there's nothing wrong with having tuna breath!

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  2. Fish breath - only better if ya add nip!

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  3. Your cuteness would make me forget about the tuna breath.

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  4. Mom tells me the same thing that your peep tells you. But their breaths would smell fishy, too, if they had just finished eating tuna. Right?!

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  5. Hmmm, that Ipso Facto brand tuna sounds wonderful, do they do it in mouse flavour? Asking for a pal of mine ;)
    Purrs
    ERin

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  6. What did she expect you to do? Swish with mouthwash? Like a cat's mouthwash would have any other flavor but tuna!

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I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.