Put me down! Put me down! Peepers, YOU STINK.
You do too. You MOST CERTAINLY do.
Peepers, while up in your arms, I definitely detected the aroma of some other kitty. Some kitty other than me.
So it's like this: The other day, Peep #1 went to the doctor's office - MY doctor's office - to pick up some stuff for me.
Now I will admit that it was nice of her to go get the tins of food and things, but that was ALL she had to do. Pickin' up my stuff was ALL that was required. But did she do only that? Did she go into the hospital, get my stuff, and immediately return?
While there - at the hospital, I mean - Ol' Peepers happened to meet up with Chili, one of the resident cats on staff.
Now truth be told, had she simply said hello to Chili, I could have lived with that. But did she simply say hello?
The peep, bein' a peep, decided to speak softly to that ol' Chili, oohing and ahhing and encouraging him to jump onto the counter, and...
Okay, so apparently she didn't really do any encouraging. I'm told, she did merely say hello. Chili jumped onto the counter and walked over the computer keyboard making his way over to Peepers, all on his own.
Nevertheless, the peep is a traitor just the same. A dirty rotten traitor, for sure.
Why she came home afterwards, STINKING OF CHILI, for sure.
I KNOW FOR A FACT that Chili gave her nose kisses. I KNOW THIS FOR FACT! I could smell Chili all over her face.
It's bad enough I have to share the peep with that long-haired freak of a brother of mine, Rushton. Now I have to share her with Chili, too?
Well let me tell you somethin', my friends. LET ME TELL YOU. I'm gonna fight fire with fire, for sure. If the peep is gonna come home stinking of some other cat, I'M gonna come home stinkin' of some other peep.
On the other paw, that would require my allowing some other peep to go picking me up.
Okay, if the peep is gonna come home stinking of some other cat, I'M gonna come home stinking of something I've rolled in outside. I'm sure I can find SOMETHING out there in the yard. Something super stinky, for sure. Something like lavender or lemon balm or...
Maybe I'll just stick my bum in her face. We'll see how Ol' Peepers likes that.