Sunday, 26 May 2019

what if...

What if my name were Alexa?

Well for starters, I guess I'd be a ladycat, and not the HANDSOME mancat I am.

MOUSES!

But that's not really the point, is it?  That's not the point I'm makin' at all.

So let's start over again, shall we?

What if my name were Alexa?

Alexa, what time is it?

Check for yourself, Peepers.  The clock is up there on the wall.  You do know how to tell time, right?  You learned 'bout that at school, did ya?

Alexa, play some soft jazz.

I don't know that game, Peepers.  Does it involve a nip mouse at the end of a string?  A wand toy?  Feathers, perhaps?  Why don't you teach me this Soft Jazz game?  We can play it right here in the family room.

Alexa, turn off the lights.

Okay...  But remember what happened the last time I climbed the wall, tryin' to reach for somethin' high up?  Scratched right through to the gyprock and everythin'.  You REALLY want me to do that again?

Alexa, how do you spell stupid.

P. E. E. P. E. R. S.

MOUSES!

Alexa, where are my glasses?

Wherever you left 'em, I suppose.  And FYI, DON'T BE LEAVING 'EM ON THE CHESTERFIELD AGAIN, PEEPERS.  Okay?  They're extremely uncomfortable to lie upon.

Alexa...

But back to my original question.

What if my name were Alexa?

The thing is, there must be peeps out there with that name, so...

So what happens if they have one of those Alexa thingies in their house?  Does it turn on every time someone says their name?

Alexa, why don't you call the pet store and ask if they have fresh catnip in stock?

*ring, ring!*

Pet store here.  How may I help you?

Where are my socks?  MOM, DID YOU WASH MY NEW JEANS?  Did someone eat the last piece of cake?  DAD, MOM WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU ATE THE LAST PIECE OF CAKE.  Where's my white shirt?  All I can find are light blue ones.  IF YOU DIDN'T EAT THE LAST PIECE OF CAKE, WHERE IS IT?  Who put these dark blue jeans in the washer with my white shirts?  MOM....

Uhhh...  This is the pet store.  I'm still here.  How may I help you?  Is anyone there?

MOM...

DAD...

Alexa, did you call the pet store?

Nope, but I think the other Alexa did.

MOUSES!

So like I was sayin', WHAT IF MY NAME WERE ALEXA?

It seems to me, this here on-demand, voice-activated, on-line computer business is RISKY BUSINESS, for sure.  And when I say risky, I mean RISKY, as in...

Well let's just say, I, Seville the Cat, don't need my private business bein' broadcast all over the world.

Alexa, did you poop on the wrong side of the litter box?  AGAIN?

***  Off in the sub, sub-basement of a high-rise office building somewhere, three computer geeks named Tom, Dick, and Harry are intently listening in on on-line Alexa conversations.  ***

BREAKING NEWS...  This just in...  Alexa the Cat has pooped on the wrong side of the litter box.  AGAIN.

Boy-oh-boy am I ever glad my name isn't Alexa.

And what's even better is, Alexa's name isn't Seville!

MOUSES!

11 comments:

  1. Seville, we don't have one of those things, 'cause The Hubby is sure it will rot his brain...

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  2. Too funny Seville and as I was reading this there was an Alexa commercial on TV!

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  3. "Alexa, how do you spell stupis? P.e.e.p.e.r.s." MOL!

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  4. Mrs H bought Alexa, and besides being a bit deaf and playing music too loud—so loud in fact she cant hear Mrs H shout at her to turn it down, Mrs H enjoys it for playing music remotely and for turning on/off some of the lights in the palace whilst we are in bed. Apart from that it is really is a bit useless. Anything that cant feed me, In my book at least, isn't worth having :)
    Purrs ERin

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  5. You are lucky your name isn't Alexa, Seville - can you imagine how much work that is?

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  6. Seville so glad yur name is Seville. Life is confusing enuf wifout calling pet stores on akcident to find owt dey iz probly owt of nip and clean litter. MOUSES You come up wif da funniest ideas....mom is laughing outloud 😸😹😸😹😸😹
    Hugs n Purrs Willy🐱

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  7. Mew mew mew Seville mee had a guud mee-yow reedin yore post. LadyMew said shee wuud not have Alexa or Seeri or any of them inn our place....it sorta creepss her out she said!
    An if there was a thing-a-ma-bob named Seville it wuud just say "NO"! rite??? ;)
    ***purrsss*** BellaDharma

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  8. You make some good points. I talk to my Alexa all the time. I even ask her who the fairest of them all is. She says me, but if I ask twice, she says Snow White. :)

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  9. Seville...er...Alexa...is Soft Jazz anything like Jazz paws? And My geeky Mom says there will never be an Alexa in our house...she would forget the wake word...
    Purrs
    Marv

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  10. Seville...the world is a better place where us cats aren't expected to answer dumb questions asked by our hoomons. Purrs!

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  11. So, the question is this... Did the peeper find her peepers? Were they damaged?

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I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.