Let me be frank, my friends.
No, I don't mean, let be Frank. My name is now, and always will be, Seville.
Plus, if I were to become Frank, who then would Frank be?
Let's start over, shall we?
Let me be honest.
Let me be..
Okay, enough of that. So without any further ado...
Let me just say that...
I, Seville the Cat, am a charmer.
That's right! Yup, you heard correctly. I am a charmer, for sure.
Why, I EXUDE charm. I...
What's that Rushy?
No, in this instance, exuding stuff is a good thing. It's not like that time you had an abscess, and..
Somehow I appear to have gotten off track.
Okay, so the other night, I hopped up onto the chesterfield and sat down next to Peep #1. She was doing some knitting or something like that. You know, playing with sticks and strings and things.
But I needed her attention, so...
So I lifted a paw, and...
Ever so gently...
Ever so gently, I tapped on her knitting needle with my paw.
WASN'T THAT CUTE?
Oh yeah, I charmed the pants right off the peep with that move, for sure.
Well not really. I mean, first of all, she wasn't wearing any pants.
NO! She most certainly was not nekkid. She was in her nightie, you see. My peep never knits nekkid. Nekkid knitting would simply not do, for seeing a pantless peep is a sight a kitty can never unsee.
Not in all a kitty's nine lives, for sure.
It's really just an expression, I think. The charming the pants off a peep thing, I mean.
Rest assured, no pants were harmed by my charming behaviour, at all.
But anyway, after being incredibly adorable and cute with the tapping of the knitting needle with a paw thing, do you know what I did?
Well I'LL TELL YOU what I did.
Are you ready?
I, Seville the Cat, stretched out on my tummy and started kneading the peep's leg.
No, not her pantless leg. I thought we already covered that.
And speakin' of covering, her leg was covered, too. Her nightie was covering it, completely.
But I, Seville the Cat, am not normally a needy... I mean, kneady - 'cause actually, I sometimes can be a little needy, in fact - cat, you see. So when I started kneading the peep's leg with my paws, she was all...
OOHING and AHHING and that sort of thing.
To be perfectly honest, I'm a little surprised she didn't call up the papers!
Probably on account of her not wanting to stand up and disturb me while I was doing my kneading, to be sure.