A CAT CAN LOOK AT A QUEEN
And your point would be, Peepers?
And FYI ya ol' peep, YOU ain't no queen.
Gosh darn it, when a kitty like me starts usin' double negatives and imaginary words like ain't, you KNOW a kitty must have his knickers all knotted, for sure.
Not that I wear knickers, but you know, it's an expression of sorts.
So why do I have imaginary knotted knickers, you ask?
Good question. And for that excellent question of yours, I have an equally excellent answer, for sure.
Just give me a second to think about it.
Now why was I... ?
Oh yeah, now I remember.
So this morning, sometime between my breakkies and elevenses, I caught Peep #1 looking at me.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
There she was, staring. Staring at me. ME!
Well right away I knew somethin' was up. Somethin; sinister, no doubt. Odds were, she was secretly planning and plotting, and plotting and planning, and planning and...
Well odds were, she was thinking about doing something untoward, TO ME.
You know, like clipping my claws, or somethin' like that.
But I, being the dignified kitty I am, held my head high, looked her straight in the eye, and said...
STOP LOOKING AT ME!
And that, my friends, was when the peep came up with the line, A cat can look at a queen, you know.
What the mouses does THAT have to do with anything?
Firstly, I'm not a queen. A king maybe, sure, but I'm certainly not a queen.
And secondly, as much as she might want to BE one, the peep is most definitely NOT a cat.
Not even close.
Well I mean, the peep is...
The peep is nothing more than a...