Who did it?
All I can say is, it sure wasn't me.
I bet you're all wonderin' who did whatever they did. Oh yeah, I bet you're all wonderin' that, for sure.
Perhaps I should start at the beginnin'.
So Thursday mornin', Peep #1 was servin' everybody breakkies, when...
Scratch that. Thursday mornin', Peep #1 was ATTEMPTIN" to serve everyone breakkies, but Andy didn't come when he was called.
Now Andy not comin' for breakkies when called is highly unusual, as Andy doesn't normally need to be called when there's any kinda food involved. No sirree. You open a packet of... Of ANYTHIN'! And Andy's right there, front and centre. Even if what you're openin' isn't actually food. All it has to do is sound like food to get Andy's attention.
Seriously, Andy will come runnin' when Peep #1 opens a bag of frozen broccoli.
What? What's that? What's that you're sayin' now?
FROZEN BROCCOLI IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT FOOD. Have you ever eaten that stuff? It's totally inedible, for sure.
Broccoli bein' food...
So anyway, like I was sayin', Peep #1 was servin' breakkies, and there was no Anderson anywhere to be found.
So as you might imagine, the peep went lookin' for Andy. 'Bout five minutes later, Peep #1 found him in the front hall closet. He wasn't sleepin' in there or anythin'. He was just lyin' about.
Well the peep brought Andy out of the closet, and what did she find?
She found that one of Andy's ears was all swollen. It was like TWICE its normal size!
Actually, from what I've heard, it was kinda disgustin'.
Less than an hour later, Peep #1 and Andy were off to see the Wizard...
I mean, DOCTOR. Yeah, they were off to see the doctor at our local hospital.
Turned out, Andy's ear was all infected, and filled with uh...
Like I said, it was kinda disgustin'.
So while the doctor was examinin' Andy's ear, Andy reached up with a paw, and...
Now I bet you're thinkin' he clawed the doctor, aren't ya? Yup, I bet you're thinkin' that, for sure. And it would be a safe bet to make with any other cat. but you see, we're talking 'bout Andy here.
So while the doctor was examinin' Andy's ear, Andy reached up with a paw and managed to lance his own abscess.
LIKE I SAID BEFORE, IT WAS KINDA DISGUSTIN'.
Well after the peep and the doctor cleaned themselves up, the doctor went back to work on Andy's ear.
Long story short, antibiotics and pain meds were on board, and Andy and the peep were headin' back home, readying themselves for a couple of FUN-FILLED WEEKS of twice-daily warm compresses and such.
But our little story is not yet over for you see, there's still a mystery left to be solved. There is still an unsolved mystery, for sure.
Fact is, Andy didn't bite his own ear.
No sirree. He's a strange lad, that brother of mine, but as strange as Andy might be, his mouth cannot reach his ears.
No... No, someone else bit Andy on the ear.
And NO ONE is takin' the blame.
The peeps are both adamantly denyin' any involvement, whatsoever. Mason and Rushton are claimin' they didn't bite their brother, either. And as for me?
Seriously, do you think that I, Seville the Cat, would ever do a thing like that?
No, seriously. I mean... SERIOUSLY. Goodness knows where Andy's ear has been. I'm not puttin' that ear in my mouth and that, my friends, is for sure.
So the mystery, it appears, remains unsolved.