So the other day, I was mindin' my own business, hangin' out in the garden when...
So the other day, I was thinkin' of ways to assist the peep when...
Yup, that sounds WAY better, for sure.
Okay, so the other day, I was thinkin' of ways to assist the peep with her gardenin', on account of my bein' an extremely helpful kind of cat who does things like that, when...
When the peep informed me, she did not require my help.
I couldn't. Believe. My ears. Seriously! I knew the peep was sayin' what she was sayin', but I simply could not believe she would say such a thing. I figured she must have been sayin' it by mistake. I mean, why else would she say such things? So I, bein' the extremely helpful kitty that I am, totally ignored the peep.
The peep, however, continued to talk. She was babblin'. Babblin' on and on.
And on and on and on...
AND ON AND ON AND ON, well after she said she didn't require my assistance. MOUSES!
But for the life of me, I couldn't tell you about what the peep was babblin', on account of my ignorin' all that babbln' she was doin'.
So anyway, the peep was goin' on and on about somethin', but all I heard was, "Blah, blah, blah. Blah blah, blah blah, blah blah." That's right, she said, "Seville, I don't need your kind of help," and then it was all blahs from there. MOUSES!
But back to my helpin' the peep. And when you think about it, my helpin' her was extremely kind of me, considerin' the fact she was doin' all that babblin'.
Now I knew Peep #1 said she didn't need my help, but I also knew that about that, she was totally wrong. After all, when was the last time Peep #1 didn't need my help? I'll tell you when. NEVER. MOUSES!
Yeah, Peep #1 needs a lot of help, for sure. Luckily for her, I'm a very helpful sort of cat so...
So I got right in there and helped the peep.
So anyway, after diggin' the first hole in the flower bed, Ol' Peepers here started babblin' on even more about somethin', which I, of course, ignored.
After diggin' the second hole in the flower bed, Ol' Peepers here continued to babble on about somethin' which again, I ignored, although truth be told, the second set of babbles were a whole little harder to ignore than the first, on account of their bein' decidedly louder. MOUSES!
All I knew was, the peep was plantin' stuff and she was doin' it all wrong.
That's right, my friends, she was DOIN' IT ALL WRONG!
I'm sorry to be redundant but I figured it was worth repeatin'.
So anyway, the peep was plantin' things and she was doin' it all wrong, puttin' the wrong things in the wrong places, and diggin' holes where they didn't belong. CLEARLY she was needin' my help to figure out what stuff should go where, and that sort of thing.
So after diggin' the third hole in the flower bed, the peep's babblin' reached a volume that my delicate ears could no longer tolerate. There also appeared to be a direct correlation to the number of holes I was diggin', and the volume of the peep's babblin'. Upon realizing this, I stopped my diggin'.
I then sat myself down and met eyes with the peep. I'm pretty sure she thought I was listenin' to her every word but really, I was contemplating far more important things. Things such as which I should do first, have a snack or a nap. Snack then nap or nap then snack? And THAT'S when it hit me. That's when I realized I should, in fact, have a snack, followed by a nap, followed by a second snack.
After deciding upon the most optimum order of snacks and naps, I started thinkin' about what my first snack should be.
For one brief moment, I placed my focus back on the peep. You know, to see if she was continuing to babble. She was. MOUSES!
At that point, I noticed a cloud in the sky. The cloud in question looked a lot like a fish, as we all know clouds often do, and it occurred to me that a freeze-dried salmon treat would make an excellent snack, for sure. I must have meowed aloud about the fish cloud or somethin' because at that point, everythin' became quiet. The peep had finally stopped babblin'. MOUSES!
My mind was on that snack but I knew it would be wrong of me to head indoors without first, finishing helpin' the peep. So I did what any helpful kitty would do and started workin' on diggin' a fourth hole in the flower bed when...
When the peep picked me up, carried me indoors, and deposited me on the kitchen floor.
Then she turned around and marched back outside, without even gettin' me my snack.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?