Hey Peepers! What's a bazillion million and twenty-three, times six thousand, four hundred and thirty-five, divided by twenty-nine, plus two?
Hey Peepers! Name five capitol cities startin' with the letter 'Q'.
Hey Peepers! How many Earth-sized planets can you fit inside the sun? And which would be heavier? An Earth-sized sun or a sun-sized Earth? Any idea?
You don't know any of the answers, huh? Not even one?
Yeah, didn't think you would. MOUSES!
Oh hello there, my friends. I was just quizzin' the peep. Long story short. She failed. MOUSES!
I know, I know... I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin', why do I need to know all this stuff, anyway? Well the truth is, I don't. I don't need to know any of it at all.
I know, I know... I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin', if I don't need to know any of this stuff, why am I lookin' for answers? Well the truth is, I don't really care 'bout those answers at all.
I know, I know... I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin', then why am I quizzin' the peep?
Well the thing is, I'm doin' a bit of an experiment on her. I'm usin' Peep #1 as a test subject.
Truth be told, Peep #1 is the test subject. The as in, the one and only. Not 'cause she's the best test subject to use but rather, 'cause she was the only one who volunteered.
Although in fact, if the truth is really to be told, Peep #1 didn't so much volunteer as she was uh... Um... Well... Appointed. Appointed. Named. Volunteered. WHATEVER.
Actually, Peep #1 DOESN'T EVEN KNOW she's the test subject in my little experiment. But what she doesn't know won't hurt her. At least that's what they say. MOUSES!
So anyway, like I was sayin', I'm doin' a bit of an experiment on the peep. I'm experimenting to see if Peep #1 is gettin' stupider in her old age. I'm tryin' to figure out if the peep is more stupid today than she was yesterday. So far, it's not lookin' too good.
Those questions you heard me askin' the peep? Well I asked her those very same questions yesterday, too. And she didn't know the answers then, either.
Yes, it IS possible that my questions might have been too complicated for her to begin with, and I probably should have asked her somethin' simpler like... What's two plus two, or even one plus one, but...
But the thing is, not only could she not answer the questions, but she didn't even realize I had asked her the very same questions yesterday!
I know, I know... I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin', maybe Peep #1 just wasn't listenin' to me when I asked her those questions yesterday.
And you could be right about that.
But, assumin' she did listen, her havin' forgotten that I asked those very same questions yesterday, is a sign of her diminishing intellect, for sure.
And even if she didn't listen to me yesterday, her NOT listenin' is also a sign of diminishing intellect because not listenin' to me, Seville the Cat, when I'm askin' questions, is a really stupid thing to do. I could have been askin' her anythin'! I could have been askin' her if we could adopt another fur-sib. I could have been askin' her if I could adopt out of the fur-sibs I already have. I could have been askin' her if I could book an all-inclusive spa treatment for all of us kitties at a five star resort offerin' a limitless supply of nip and cheese. Like I said, I COULD HAVE BEEN ASKIN' HER ANYTHIN'! Take my word for it, with a cat like me, it's always best to know what I'm askin' before you say yes. Believe me, I know. And by now, so should the peep. MOUSES!
You'd really think that after that time when I asked Peep #1 if it would okay for me to order in those radioactive titanium eggbeaters to boost power to my eggbeater teleportation technology, she would have learned to listen to what I'm askin' before givin' me the go ahead. I'm pretty sure that's what those governmental peeps from Ottawa said. MOUSES!
So anyway, the reason I'm experimentin' on the peep in the first place, is that I'm growin' more and more concerned that the peep is growin' stupider and stupider by the day. The signs are all there. The incident with the azalea bush. The incident with the cat bite. The incident with the...
Hmmm... Actually, I probably shouldn't mention the third incident on account of it possibly havin' been my fault and not hers.
But anyway, at first, I didn't care too much if Peep #1 was gettin' stupider and stupider by the minute 'cause I figured, I could stand next to her, and her growin' stupidity would make me appear smarter and smarter in comparison. But then...
But then it occurred to me, WHAT IF STUPIDITY IS CONTAGIOUS? MOUSES!