walking the catwalk

The other day, I was perusing the Internet when I came across a video of some models walking...

Scratch that.

The other day, I was perusing the Internet when I came across a video of some models tripping and falling all over the place.  MOUSES!

You know, I have to admit, I had a pretty good chuckle over that video, for sure.

As far as I could tell, the models in question had two problems with the first one being that they couldn't walk in their shoes.

Now being a cat, I don't wear shoes. Nope, not ever.  Have never even considered it.  I know some dogs who wear shoes of sorts. Booties, really.  They wear 'em when walking outside in the winter but I've never known a cat to wear anything like that.  We cats prefer our feet to be bare.  Yup, we like to be barefooted.  Well bare-pawed, to be more exact but you get my drift, I am sure.

NO, I'm not talking about those bear paw pastry thingies.  I'm talking about our paws being bare on account of our not wearing shoes.  MOUSES!

Hmmm...  I was just talking about getting the drift and now I have appeared to drift away from the topic at paw.  Clearly, I have been spending too much time with the peep.  She drifts off course a lot, you see.

Anyway, as a cat, I don't wear shoes.  Now the peeps wear shoes.  Peep #1 wears shoes all the time but never in my life have I ever seen her wearing shoes that prevented her from walking. Never.  Not even once.  But these models were wearing shoes that made it impossible to walk. MOUSES!

Now I'm not talking about cement shoes or anything like that.  While it is true that cement shoes will prevent a peep from walking - or swimming which I guess is the whole point of those shoes made of cement - and although I cannot and never will be able to speak from personal experience on this matter, I can tell you one thing for sure.   CEMENT SHOES ARE NOT A GOOD IDEA!  MOUSES!

You ever hear that song 'bout those boots that were made for walking?  Yeah, well I'm not talking about them, either.  Like I said, the shoes these models were wearing we UN-walkable and that is for sure.

The problem with the shoes, as far as I could tell, was their height.  Like seriously folks, no one needs to be wearing shoes that can double as a step stool. MOUSES!

And just how short are these peeps in the first place, to need to wear shoes with heels that are so high? MOUSES!

I've heard that some peeps wear the high heels 'cause they're what other peeps call, sexy.  Well let me tell you something.  As a real mancat who has already been neutered, I don't concern myself too much with sexy but I'm thinking that falling down all over the place 'cause you can't walk in your shoes isn't really sexy at all.

One of 'em even fell into a pool!  Yup, it's true. She tripped over the shoes on her feet and fell right into a pool of water positioned next to the catwalk. Good thing those shoes weren't made of cement, if you know what I mean.  MOUSES!

And speaking of catwalks, why is it that they insist on calling 'em that?  It's not like there are cats walking up and down those catwalks, tripping all over our paws 'cause the heels on our shoes are too high.  Let me tell you this once and for all, we cats don't wear shoes and that is a fact. MOUSES!

But I believe I mentioned how these models who were falling down all over the place had two problems on their paws.  Two, and not one and yeah, it had to do with the paws.

Second problem was obvious as obvious can be.  Yup, as obvious as the whiskers on my face, for sure.  For some strange reason, peeps are always walking around on only two feet.

You won't see a lot of cats falling down left, right, and center and that is on account of the wisdom of walking on all four paws.  Oh sure, every now and then we might trip over our tail or something but that is an entirely different matter.  If peeps had tails, they might trip over 'em too.  And if you come across a peep who does have a tail and trips over it then...  Uh...  Never mind.  Whole different topic at paw that one is.  MOUSES!

Anyway, like I was saying before I so rudely interrupted myself.  Walking on four paws is so very much more stable than walking on only two.  I mean, you peeps have to lift one paw in order to walk anywhere.  That's like half your paws!  And that leaves you with only the one paw upon which to balance.  Balancing acts like that can be treacherous, for sure.  Especially when said balancing act occurs on top of a shoe with a heel six-inches high.  Might as well be walking a tightrope, to tell you the truth.

And speaking of tightropes, you won't catch us cats walking on those, either. Fence railings...  Sure.  Narrow edges of bookshelves and the like...  Of course!  But tightropes?  Never.  Never in a million years.  Not even once.

Perhaps I can conclude with a little piece of advice, if I may, to all the peeps out there who insist upon walking on two paws instead of four and wearing shoes that are way too high for walking in the first place.  If you're thinking those high-heeled shoes are super sexy and you want someone to fall head over heels for you while you're wearing 'em, might I suggest that you not fall head over heels over the heels of your very own shoes.  MOUSES!