That's right folks... I couldn't believe it! I wouldn't have believed it had I not seen it with my very own eyes and heard it with my very own ears. It was the most unbelievable thing, ever. Ever, ever, EVER! And, of course, it involved the peep.
So I'm lying on the little roof outside the kitchen window that we cats treat as our sunbathing beach. The sun was shining and it was very mild for a November day in Canada. Comfortable but not too hot. And it wasn't raining for once so outside time was
I didn't pay a whole lot of attention to the peep at first. Yeah, I saw her walkin' past with that big ol' garden spade of hers but I figured I could leave her alone for at least a few minutes. I mean... how much damage can a peep do in just a few minutes? Usually I like - or rather, need - to supervise the peep's gardening endeavours but I figured that just this one time I could rest up and enjoy the sunshine. It had been raining so much as of late, I needed to get a little colour on my nose.
A little while later, I was still lying on the roof beach when I heard "Arrggghhhh!" and "Ewwwww!" and "Friggity-frack-da-frew!" noises emanating from, where I believed at the time, the far side of the deck. MOUSES! Just what had that ol' peep of mine done this time, I thought to myself. Leave a peep alone and unsupervised for just a few minutes and all you-know-what breaks out. I slowly climbed to my paws and went to investigate further. No need to rush, I figured, as whatever mischief she was doin' she would likely still be doin' when I got there.
I arrived at the far side of the deck to find nothing but grass. Hmmm... I thought. Where did the ol' peep go? Then I heard some clunking noises from under the deck. Under the deck? Who would be under the deck? Then came more clunking and scraping along with some muttering under the breath type sounds. Again, hmmm... Only we cats go under the deck along with, perhaps an occasional member of the raccoonista gang that believes our subdivision falls in their territory. But cats and raccoons don't mutter under their breath. At least they don't do it in the manner I was hearing.
I peered under the deck and, lo and behold, I was almost knocked over by surprise. Yup. All four of my knees buckled. Do cats even have knees? I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't. I took one paw and used it to wipe my eyes. Thought maybe I was hallucinating or something. Perhaps I had stayed out in the sun for too long. But no. I blinked a few times and my vision cleared and I realised that what I was seeing was real. There, under the deck, was... are you sitting down? There was my peep!
Peep #1 was on her hands and knees under the deck digging a gigantic hole. A hole way bigger than a cat. She wasn't using the spade. She was digging with her front paws! Or maybe what she was doin' was more like scooping out than digging. Of course, the spade would have been pretty useless under there as the deck is only three or four feet high. The handle on that spade alone is way longer than that. What's more... she couldn't stand up to use it.
Although she was still muttering and sputtering, I felt I had to ask the peep just what on earth she thought she was doin' under there, digging that hole. The answer came as a bit of a shock, I must admit. Apparently, the peep was digging a hole to uncover the septic tank thingy so that the man with the big ol' truck could come and clean it out. But here's the thing... the real question that must be asked... WHY WOULD SOMEONE PUT THE SEPTIC TANK UNDER THE DECK?
I kind of think that was the real reason for all the peep's moaning and groaning. The fact that someone had been so stupid and nincompoopy to do such a silly thing as put a septic tank under a deck. Something that would have to be dug out every few years. Dug out by her. Awfully difficult for a full-grown peep to work under those kind of conditions, I think. The conditions found under a deck, I mean. I'm told the previous owners of the house didn't actually put the septic tank under the deck but rather, they built the deck over the septic tank. I say... SAME DIFFERENCE! Still means I end up with a moaning, groaning, sputtering and spewing peep digging holes under decks like she was a dog burying bones or something. For mousin' sake! My ears can only handle so much. Did no one ever think 'bout that when they were hammering on that deck? Probably not. 'Cause you know peeps. Never givin' a second thought to us cats. MOUSES!
Now that sure is a nincompoopie thing, to have the septic tank under the deck!ReplyDelete
OMC - how typical peepish - to put septic under a deck - dumb dumb I hopes peep has recovered and all is well.ReplyDelete
Wow, that is an idiotic thing to do for sure! It seems a kitty would have no problem digging under a deck though, maybe the kitties could help dig it out?!ReplyDelete
She should have borrowed some dogs and told them there was a bone under there. They would have soon got it dug out for your peep.ReplyDelete
Hi there! I just found your blog from Speedy the Cheeky House Bunny... Speedy was kind enough to give me the nip award!! :)ReplyDelete
Please stop by and visit me anytime at www.threecatsandagirl.com. I am now following Nerissa's adventures too! :)
well geez....that sounds terrible. we will never understand some humans (ok - most humans - MOL)ReplyDelete
Yikes - your poor peep. I think mine would have been spitting and aputtering too if she would have had to dig a big hole on her hands and knees.ReplyDelete
We had "plumbing" problems earlier this year that involved no water for 2 days, torn up concrete porch and a massive bill! No fun.ReplyDelete
Mouses is RIGHT! Acting like a dog with a bone? What will humans think of next....ReplyDelete
Yeah, peeps can be pretty nincompoopy about things. Those previous owners building the deck over the septic tank access? Nice. I wonder if they were planning to sell the house when they did that (all the while thinking, "Not my problem"). Then again, I'm a bit cynical.ReplyDelete
ewe got that rite nerissa.....that iz a stooooooooopid place ta puts de litter box waste container what cha call it...ReplyDelete
even dawgs woodna be that silly....
this iz kinda like R gram N gram paws houz where de furnace be in de basemint......seer ee iz lee... if ewe be wider than a broom stik ya has de werst time gettin two it coz de builder oh de houz sticked it in de korner surrounded by wall N all kinds of crazed stuff....
You needed a video of that one...fur sure!ReplyDelete
Hoomins. Just don't think, do they ?ReplyDelete
Hmmm...that just doesn't make sense!ReplyDelete
What a silly place for a litter box!! Septic, sceptic ....sheesh!!ReplyDelete
oh man you could be hearing more of the groaning and moaning. keep us posted.ReplyDelete
Emma and Buster
well thank goodness...I thought it was the raccoonista! :)ReplyDelete
Now why did they go and do that? Silly humans...ReplyDelete
Katie and Coccolino the mini pig
See...more proof that humans are not as smart as us kitties.ReplyDelete
Well, listen, Nerissa, really--not that I am a Peep-Sympathizer or anything so subversive--but really. Aren't there like 100 of you kids there or something? Couldn't you lend a Peep a paw or 48? I mean, c'mon--do some DIGGING!ReplyDelete
That couldn't have been fun in the least! Dumb, dumb, dumb. What will they think of next? Purrs...ReplyDelete
I suppose you could have helped her dig, Nerissa. But then... maybe not.ReplyDelete
Nerissa when your peeps start using a spade we always allow a good distance between them and you because their language isn't very polite!ReplyDelete
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx
Oh, we liked Hannah and Lucy's comment. Did your Mom use some HBO words while she was doing all that digging? I wonder if anyHuman ever thought about making a giant hole in deck right over the septic tank. Actually, they wouldn't even NEED that tank if they could learn to use a litter box.ReplyDelete
That does sound like a dumb thing to do to put the septic tank under the porch. Makes me hurt and tired to hear about the Peep trying to dig up the top of it. Yikes. HOpe your day gets better.ReplyDelete