Wednesday, 16 August 2017

clean up aisle three

CLEAN UP AISLE THREE.

MOUSES!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin', the peep has been makin' a mess while shopping again.  And to tell you the truth...

Well...

Well to tell you the truth, she DID go to the grocery store the other day.

MOUSES!

But thanks-be-to-goodness, there have been no phone calls bannin' her from shopping there.

Yet.

MOUSES!

But to tell you the real truth, what I'm about to write didn't happen at the grocery store.  Nope.  Not even close.  Actually, it happened right here at my house.

It did!

MOUSES!

Picture it:  Peep #1 out in the garden yesterday.

Yeah.  I know.  SERIOUSLY!  You all know my Peep #1 so well, that's all I need to write.  All I need to write is that she was out in garden.  You read that, and you're already picturing hilarious messes made by the peep.

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, there she was out in the yard, coming up with some stupid idea about replantin' the little raised bed between the house and the driveway.

Well I knew it was trouble from the start.  I knew...

I knew why, you ask?

Well 'cause it was the peep!  EVERYONE KNOWS my Peep #1 can't go out in the garden without makin' a mess.

So anyway, there she was, yankin' some stuff out that wasn't performin'.

Yeah, her words, not mine.  Who knew plants were supposed to perform like circus clowns?  Did you?  MOUSES!

So there she was yankin' stuff out of the raised bed, when she came across this kinda big root.  And when I say kinda big, I actually mean really big.  Way bigger than anything she was expectin' to find.

Now findin' this aforementioned root was weird on account of it lookin' like the root of a tree.  But as we all know, usually, tree roots come attached to trees.  Oh sure, you might expect to find one in a forest, or next to a forest, or anywhere, really, where there might be trees.  But in a raised bed next to a house?  Not likely.  MOUSES!

Well the peep held one end of the root in her paw...  I mean, hand, for a bit.  I guess she was figuring out what to do next.  That's when I said, "Go for it, Peepers.  Yank that stupid ol' thing right out."

Next thing I knew?

DIRT.

EVERYWHERE.


MOUSES!

I'm serious.  A massive amount of dirt flew up into the air like a rocket headin' straight for the moon, and you know what they say...

They say, what goes up, must eventually come down.

Or somethin' like that.  Doesn't always apply to us cats, of course, on account of us usin' our claws to hold onto the ceilin' and walls and the like, but...

BUT HOLDIN' ONTO THE CEILIN' IS RIGHT WHERE I WAS.  MOUSES!

Well not quite, on account of there bein' no ceilings outside.  Instead, I jumped up onto the roof of the car.

MOUSES!

But back to that dirt.

It was rainin' dirt, my friends.  IT WAS RAININ' DIRT!  Never before had I seen anythin' like it, and I'm hopin' never to see it again.

Do you have any idea how dirty rained dirt gets?

I know...  I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin', better for it to rain dirt, than mud, and on that account, you would be correct.  MOUSES!

Dirt showers...  Mud showers...  Any kind of showers...  They're all icky, to be sure.

You know, a kitty accidentally slaps a paw on a bowl of kibble, makin' it rain kibble all over the kitchen floor, and a kitty never hears the end of it.

I'm just sayin'...

MOUSES!

But back to that dirt.

Again.

Well the peep was caught by surprise as the dirt rained down upon her.  There she stood, holdin' the mysterious root in one paw...  I mean, hand, gettin' all covered in dirt.

I, of course, bein' the ever-so-helpful kitty I am, called out to her and said, "MAKE SURE YOU SHAKE THAT STUFF OFF BEFORE ENTERIN' THE HOUSE!"

Yeah, that didn't go over so well.  That would be 'bout the time she used her other paw...  I mean, hand, to make an obscene gesture in my direction.

Just kiddin'.

MOUSES!

Kiddin' about the gesture bein' obscene, I mean.

I think.

MOUSES!

Hmmm...

You know, we never did find out from where that root came.

But I, Seville the Cat, did come down from the roof of the car.

And the peep?

Well the peep, a whole day and a whole dirtless shower later, is still findin' bits of dirt in her hair.

MOUSES!



14 comments:

  1. Well, for those cats who do go outside, and it sounds like you're one of 'em, your peep has just made you a nice new bathroom, yes?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I bet it wuz a skwerill dat planted dat mysterious root - dey luv to plant trees here!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh dear poor peeps bet your glad you stayed away from all the flying dirt.Now if it was you that was all covered in dirt I bet that would be a totally different matter.Your the best...x🐾🐾🐾😸😻💕

    ReplyDelete
  4. I guess it's not her dirty little secret any more!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh my Cat! A battle with the garden mud. We find roots in our garden and the soil is CLAY ugh so getting them out means we might experience a similar er.... disaster...... Maybe we leave them alone...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Humans have a special talent for mess making. Just sayin'.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Maybe that root was a plant! OK so it was a 'plant' plant but maybe it was a planted plant! OK this is confusing! Maybe them there weasels did it to get your peep mucky, knowing she couldn't resist pulling it... after all thats what peeps seem to always do, if in doubt pull its tail and see if it bites. MOL
    Purrrs
    ERin

    ReplyDelete
  8. Seville, we are MOL-ing so much!!! That was hilarious, your peep #1 & the P.A. have oodles in common, the same thing happened to her last year only she got a face full of dirt instead of a dirt shower, I know we shouldn't laugh but MOL MOL MOL seriously dude, they need more snoopervision when in the garden!

    Big hugs

    Basil & Co xox

    ReplyDelete
  9. This sounds familiar....my Mom sometimes THINKS she's pulling out a simple weed but that simple weed turns out to have a five foot long ROOT attached and that means dirt flying!

    Hugs, Teddy

    ReplyDelete
  10. Bwa! Haa!! Haaa!!!! You make me laugh! And I KNOW that has happe3ned to my Mommy too...Kozmo told me
    Many Purrs
    Marvelous

    ReplyDelete
  11. MOL! Those mystery plant can have some serious roots (with lots of dirt for raining), Sivvers!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Your peep sure does get herself into some fine fixes, doesn't she ?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Sounds like the root won the battle.
    Have a great dirt free Sunday...

    Noodle and crew

    ReplyDelete
  14. Mom L continues to pull and pull on that root until it ends up under her teeth then she wonders why it hurt so much to pull that stoopid thing in the first place!!! MOL

    ReplyDelete

I love hearin' from my pals. I absolutely LOVE it! Just saying...