Wednesday, 4 January 2017

in stitches


"MOUSES!"

Oh my mouses, Peepers.  Did I hear you yell, MOUSES?  Are you okay, Peepers? Are you sure?  How come you were yelling 'bout the mouses?

Uh Peepers...   May I ask...

What the mouses did you do to your knittin'?

I TOLD you you should teach Mason how to knit.  With those thumbs of that polydactyl sister's of mine, I bet she could learn, for sure.  AND I BET, she wouldn't be doin' to her knittin' what you just did to yours.

By the way, what IS it that you did?

And by the other way, how come there's a part of your knittin' needle lyin' there, down on the floor?   And when I say part, I mean part.  As in, just a part and not the whole needle.

QUIT YOUR GRIPING, WOMAN!  Can you not see I'm tryin' to be nice to you, here?  Take an interest in you and your knittin', EVEN THOUGH you're not knittin' anythin' for me?

But back to that needle.  Is it supposed to be lyin' there on the floor?

Sorry.  A better question would be, is it SUPPOSED to come apart like that?  Break apart into two pieces, I mean.

Ah, I see.  It just broke.  Broke all on its own.  Broke right there and then.  When you were knittin'.

Hmmm...

And it's not supposed to do that, I assume.

What did I tell you 'bout your gripin'?  MOUSES!

Hmmm...

And may I also assume that those stitches you're tryin' to hold onto, ever-so-carefully with your fingers, are not supposed to be all loose like that?  That they're supposed to actually be ON the needle?

Hmmm...

Which part?

Which part of what?

Which part of the needle.  MOUSES!

I shall rephrase my question.  Are all those loose stitches supposed to be on the part of the needle still in your hands, or the part of the needle lyin' over there on the floor?

More griping?  MOUSES!

Well Peepers, I think you're gonna have to dig out another needle and try to pick up all those stitches and...

Hehehehehee...

What's that, Peepers?  Why am I laughin'?  Well...

Well I was just thinkin' that you pickin' up stitches could make a game.  You know, like that game 'bout pickin' up sticks, 'cept this would be 'bout stitches.

But a better question would be, how come you're not?  Not laughin', I mean.

MORE GRIPING?  MOUSES!

Fine.  Suit yourself.  I'll just leave you to it while I go back into the kitchen and try to score some more snacks with the second peep.

"MOUSES!"

Oh my mouses, Peepers?  Are you okay?  Why the mouses are you yellin' mouses again?  You havin' trouble pickin' up all those sti...

MOUSES, PEEPERS!  Now your needle is in three parts.  Three.  As in THREE!

Now it's my turn to yell MOUSES, for sure. MOUSES!

And by the way, what the mouses ARE you doin' to those knittin' needles?

Here.  Let me see that needle.

Hmmm...  HMMM...  HMMM...

Okay Peepers, I've figured it out.  This here metal part is supposed to be attached to this here plastic tube-like part, which, in turn, is supposed to be attached to the other metal part, on its other end.  BUT INSTEAD, the two metal parts, and the plastic part, have all kinda fallen apart, into three separate parts.

So you already knew that, huh?

Hmmm...

Uh, did you also know that now you have even more loose stitches that are no longer on the needle and...

Oh, you knew 'bout those too?

Hmmm...

Well do you happen to know how all this mayhem came about?

You say you were just knittin' away on that one circular needle when it decided to make like an amoeba and divide itself into two, causing you to drop a bunch of stitches, and when you finally picked up all those dropped stitches and fixed things up, the knittin' needle decided to make like an amoeba again, and divide itself into three?

Really?

REALLY?

Okay, again I must ask... WHAT THE MOUSES ARE YOU DOIN' TO THOSE KNITTIN' NEEDLES?

I mean, I don't think knittin' needles are supposed to make like amoebas at all, but I'll tell you what, I'll go check on that for you and...

What's that?  What?  WHAT?  PEEPERS, I CAN'T HEAR YOU ON ACCOUNT OF YOUR YELLIN' MOUSES SO LOUDLY.

Well I CAN hear you, but all I can hear is mouses this and mouses that and I'm pretty sure you have more to say than just mouses and...

I'll tell you what, Peepers.  I'll just head back into the kitchen and let you get on with pickin' up all those dropped stitches.

And when you're done with that, you can start lookin' for all the pieces of your knittin' needle.  It'll be a little like lookin' for a needle in a haystack, 'cept in three parts.  THREE PARTS! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  You know, on account of your one circular knittin' needle, now bein' three separate useless pieces of knittin' needle and...

QUIT YOUR GRIPIN', WOMAN!

You had best pick up all those stitches before I start peeing my britches from laughin' so hard.

Not that I actually wear any britches, 'cause you know, I'm a cat, and cats don't wear britches. Mainly on account of our tails gettin' in the way.  But that, my friends, is another topic for another day.  MOUSES!

34 comments:

  1. My human says that, as someone who has knitted in the past, this is a disaster of epic proportions!

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    Replies
    1. Oh it was. It was! Yup, it was a disaster of epic proportions, for sure. MOUSES!

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  2. Oh my word, could this be Weasel Syndicate sabotage? Whats that expression, a stitch in time drops nine? No hang on, it's a stitch in time saves nine! What you need is to use your whisk tech to go back and save the day. purrs Erin

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    1. Weasels? Hmmm... You could be onto somethin' there, for sure. MOUSES!

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  3. Oh my, poor Peepers! We hope a recovery sequence is in the works!

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    1. She managed to save her knittin' but boy-oh-boy, I don't know if my ears will ever recover. MOUSES!

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  4. dood...yur mom kneadz ta chex out like steel needlezz if they makez em any mor.....de food servizz gurlz seen em round but her canna rememburr wear.....N speekin oh yarn, yur mom dida awesum job on de bears N tea cozy her donated two four paws auction ~~~ ♥♥♥

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    Replies
    1. You saw the tea cozies and teddies she made? Yeah, she did that and I have to admit, they were kinda cute. Not as cute as nip mice - OF COURSE - but kind of cute, for sure. Now she's knittin' up some doll clothes for another rescue. purrs

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  5. Sheesh! You'd think if a knitting needle MAGICALLY reproduced, they'd be happy! I mean, isn't three better than one? Oh. That's right. They can only use two hands. Well, hmmm. You could've offered to hold the stitches for her ... you know, until she gathered herself together ... or until you got the whole thing undone, you know, whatever comes first. Then call in Andy to check on the Peep and hope she thinks HE did it! ~Bear Cat

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    1. Speakin' of needle reproduction, after the incident with the circular needle, the peep had to finish up usin' a set of five. Can you believe it? Five needles all at once. MOUSES!

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  6. Oh no! Good thing you have a super intelligent knit supervisor to keep track of such things!

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    1. Yup, it's a good thing the peep has me, for sure. PURRS

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  7. Oh dear, I bet your Peep had the air blue with Mouses! That was quite a predicament she had!

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    1. I think the air was BLACK and blue, for sure. MOUSES!

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  8. Britches??? Seville? Why, why you never...ahem...koff...koff...well, you know. You...ahem...never mentioned your "britches" before. But no matter, you are still the bestest ever with the whisk technology

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    1. Hehehehehee... It's just that britches rhymes with stitches is all. PURRS.

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  9. Goodness, that was sure a funny story...at least for you. Our mom bean isn't laffing...she says she had the same thing happen to her. (And she didn't just say mouses, nope it sure didn't sound like that) Must have been a bad batch of needles.

    Sasha, Sami, & Saku

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    Replies
    1. That's what happened! Apparently, the peep took the broken needle to the knittin' and sewin' store and the lady there said they had exactly that. A bad batch of needles last year. And there was I, thinkin' it was all the peep's fault. Well actually, I still think it might be. You know. 'Cause she's such a peep. MOUSES!

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  10. Replies
    1. Because as you and I know, the Weasels are almost ALWAYS TO BLAME. MOUSES!

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  11. When I saw stitches I was afraid your peep had to get stitches. Losing stitches is much better than that.

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    1. Hehehehehee... Nah, slap a Band Aid on the peep and she's usually good. purrs

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  12. Uh oh! My mum says she is very glad she doesn't knit because she would be yelling more than MOUSES!

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    1. And let me tell you, the way my peep was yellin' MOUSES!, mouses was bad, for sure. PURRS.

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  13. Oh dear Seville. I don't even know about knitting, cannot master two knitting needles , one in each hand, let along a circular knitting needle or is that needles in this case. I suggest you better be a little careful here, britches can be knit too with a hole for a tail. You would look pretty ummmmm funny,,,,,,, nope, unique in a set of Kitty Britches, maybe down right gorgeous. Not that you aren't already. Big Purrs to you and your family from all of us at Serenity.

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    1. You mean.. YOU MEAN... YOU MEAN SHE COULD KNIT ME BRITCHES AND PUT A HOLE IN 'EM FOR MY TAIL ???

      Oh I feel faint.

      MOUSES!!!

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  14. OMC How Pawful. We don't acrually unnerstand any of this, cuz well, we don't know anythin' 'bout knittin'. Ya' know, mommy ain't da least bit crafty. But we do think this is just pawful fur your peep. Big hugs to all.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    1. It was. IT WAS! It was awful for the peep, for sure. PURRS.

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  15. OH NO, that's dreadful, though the P.A. neffur mastered knitting she sends many sympathies fur the broken needle... seriously not good :(
    Would a pot of glue help?

    Purrs

    Basil & CO xox

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    1. She had to get a new needle BUT... The knittin' store gave her one for free. They said there had been a bad batch. MOUSES!

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  16. Mommy doesn't knit. And it may be a good thing she doesn't! MOL I'd be scared of her with those needles.

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  17. Oh my, it sounds like knitting is hard work. Especially when somehow your knitting needle is in pieces! MOL! I wonder how that happened...

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    1. Well... The story is, it was a bad batch of needles but I'm not convinced it didn't have anythin' to do with those weasels. purrs

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