Sunday, 29 January 2017

I am cat

I am cat.  Hear me roar.

Okay, so I'm not really into the roarin'.  I do do an occasional growl, but my growlin' is not nearly as scary as that look I sometimes give.  You know the one.  The one that says, "BACK OFF OR I'LL SMACKY-PAW YOU IN THE KEISTER."

Okay, so I've never really smacky-pawed anyone in the keister.  Between the ears? Oh yeah.  But never in the keister, for sure, 'cause let me tell you somethin', if you smacky-paw another kitty in the keister, that other kitty might lift his or her tail and...

'Nough said.  MOUSES!

Hmmm...

You're probably all wonderin' what on earth this blog post is about.  To tell you the truth, I'm beginnin' to wonder that myself. MOUSES!

HMMM...

Okay, so here's the thing.  Sometimes a kitty has simply got to speak up.  Yup, it's true.  Whether you're speakin' up by meowin' or roarin' or smacky-pawin' another kitty between the ears, there are times when you've just gotta stand up for yourself and speak.

Why just the other day...

Just the other day, I saw my brother Rushton slinkin' into the family room while I was tryin' to nap on the chesterfield.

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin', Rushton doesn't slink, and let me tell you somethin', my friends, never have truer words been said.  MOUSES!

What's that Rushy?  You do slink?  You think you are, in fact, slinky?  Really?  REALLY?  You think all twenty pounds or so of you, and that mountainous mountain of fur, can slink?  REALLY?  Maybe some alternative form of slinking, in some alternative universe, but in the real world?  Never. MOUSES!

So like I was sayin'...

The other day, I saw my brother Rusthon attemptin' to slink into the family room, while I was supposedly attemptin'' to nap on the chesterfield.  The reason I was only attemptin' to nap, and not actually nappin', was 'cause at the very same time, I was also attemptin' to protect the half-filled saucer of my special-special, lyin' on the family room floor.

Just to clarify, it was the saucer that was lyin' on the floor.  I, myself, was up on the chesterfield.

But back to the topic at paw.  Peep #1, bein' a pretty good peep for the most part, had allowed me to have some of my special-special in the family room that day.  You know, in order to save me the effort of havin' to walk all the way into the kitchen.

But here's the thing, it was really a set-up.

You see, my special-special has been goin' missin' as of late.  That's right, MISSIN'.  Missin' as in, one moment it's there, and the next?  Gone.  MOUSES!

But before callin' in the RCMP and CSIS to investigate, I thought I should do a little sniffin' around, myself.

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin', a case involvin' missin' special-special is far too big a case for one cat to handle himself.

Well that, my friends, is why I enlisted the help of the peep.

That's right.  While the rest of the world thought I was simply tryin' to have a little nap on the family room chesterfield, I was really...

ON A STAKEOUT.  MOUSES!

From my vantage point on the chesterfield, I could see both my saucer of special-special and the family room door.  All I had to do was keep my eyes open which, by the way, turns out to be very difficult to do, while at the same time as tryin' to look like you're nappin'.  MOUSES!

But have no fear, my friends.  I, Seville the Cat, am a professional, and I was able to handle the task at hand.  I mean, paw.  No, I think I mean hand.  MOUSES!

So anyway, there he was.  There was that brother of mine, slinkin' - as only a Rushton can do without actually slinkin' - his way into the family room.  With every step he took, he got closer and closer AND CLOSER until eventually, he was within a paw's reach of my saucer of special-special.

And just as he was about to dive in and grab a mouthful of my special kibble the peep gets from the doctor, meant only for kitties who have had bouts with the crystals...

I POUNCED!

That's right.  I pounced like no other kitty has pounced before.  Never before have you seen a kitty doin' the Kung Fu and Karate Kid moves like I did that day.  IT WAS SMACKY-PAW MANIA, FOR SURE.

Of course, my paws hit nothin' but fur.  Thick, mountainous mountains of fur.  That's the thing with brothers like Rushton.  They're well padded, for sure.  MOUSES!

But let me tell you somethin', my friends.  Mountains of fur or not, it's gonna be a cold day in you-know-where before Rushy tries to steal my special-special again.  Oh yeah, there are gonna be pigs flyin' and everythin' and..

And...

What's that, Peepers?

WHAT?

Rushton is snackin' on my special-special right now?  At this very moment?  Really?

Awww...  MOUSES!

34 comments:

  1. Darn that Rushton...for a big kitty he sure is pretty sneaky Seville.

    We have our own Rushton, 'cept his name is Saku. Mom bean keeps an eye on us while we are having our stinky goodness, and if she looks away for just a second, he pushes us away. We, Sami and Sasha, are polite kitties and let him have it. Maybe we need to learn to be more smack-paw.

    Hope you get extra special-special!
    Sasha, Sami, & Saku

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know! His sneakin' is how come he has gotten so big. MOUSES!

      Delete
  2. Yeah, not a good idea to smacky-paw in the kiester, Pal. Lifting the tail can be, well, unpleasant.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That sounds like a darn good pounce and some swift paw action too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup, when needed, I'm pretty quick with my paws. MOUSES!

      Delete
  4. You need one of those sure flap bowls that only opens when you are near it because it is microchip activated.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But would that require me to wear a collar? purrs

      Delete
  5. Boodie is our Rushton here! She steals Binga's food in the blink of an eye.

    ReplyDelete
  6. You've been a little tough on Rushton recently, Seville. I mean. sticking his nose in your food is unforgivable ... but maybe the poor guy just needs a hug?

    ReplyDelete
  7. MOUSES! Looks like you need an extra pair of eyes in the back of your head, Seville.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seriously although... I'm not sure how I'd look. MOUSES!

      Delete
  8. OMC Seville, don't mew just hate it when your speshal food gets hijacked and wolfed! I had the same purroblem last month when all my vet food kept getting eaten by somepurrdy else, I set up camera's and caught the blighter - SMOOCH - naming no names at all - SMOOOOOOCH- the little piglet gobbled it all up!!! Great pounce though, I bet it was most satisfying! MOL Purrs Basil & Co xox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It really was although, truth be told, gettin' my fair share OF MY SPECIAL-SPECIAL would satisfy me more. purrs

      Delete
  9. Ooh, on a stake out sounds like great fun, especially if there is marital... oops, sorry that should be martial arts involved. I'd have loved to see that in slow mo, but without bad English dubbing. Purrs Erin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No dubbin' required. I can tell a story with my paws. purrs

      Delete
  10. WOW......take your eyes off Rushton for just one minute and he moves in on your special-special territory!

    Hugs, Angel Sammy

    ReplyDelete
  11. Lots of us steal each other's food. It is the survival of the fittest around here but the Mom makes sure everyone gets some. That was one terrific pounce.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The problem is, my special-special tastes THE BEST. purrs

      Delete
  12. That sounds like a pawsome pounce ! Purrs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And it was! I'm pretty good with my paws. purrs

      Delete
  13. Yep, best to stay away from the keister. For reasons we all know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, not somethin' you're likely to try twice. MOUSES!

      Delete
  14. That Rushton sounds like he needs constant supervising!

    Purrs,
    The Chans

    ReplyDelete
  15. Maybe his head is full of mountains of fur too and he forgot your smacky down?? or is your Special-Special just that good?

    ReplyDelete
  16. If two of us smacky paw kitties get together - you think we can take Rushton down? -Katie Kitty Too who likes smacky paws.

    ReplyDelete

I love hearin' from my pals. I absolutely LOVE it! Just saying...