Wednesday, 14 September 2016

where are you now?

Oh.  My.  Mouses.  MOUSES!

Where is it?  WHERE IS IT?  MOUSES!

Is it inside?  Is it outdoors?  Is it...  Is it in my office?  On my right?  On my left?  In front of me?  Behind me?  Where? WHERE?  OH MY MOUSIE MOUSIN' MOUSES!

Oh for mousin' out loud.

Ah-ha!  I've got you now.  I know where you are.  I'm comin' to get ya.  I'm...

What the mouses?  You're not there.

Wait a minute.  Now I've got you.  You're over here.  You're here, in this corner of the room.  You're...

You're not here?  MOUSES!

So if you're not over here.  And you weren't over there.  You're...

WHERE ARE YOU?

You have some kind of stereo system goin' on, allowin' you to appear to be in two places at the same time?  Or are you throwin' your voice?  Or are you...

MOUSES!  MOUSES!  MOUSES!

PEEEEEEPERS!  Peepers, I need your help.  It's drivin' me mad.  It's drivin' me nuts.  It's drivin' me nuttier than the nuttiest of squirrels.  It's drivin' me crazier than squirrels makin' nut pies kind of crazy, for sure.  It's...  MOUSES!

I can't help it, Peepers.  I can't help but to stomp my paws in frustration.  I'm ready to explode like a bottle of pop rolled around on its side, shaken and shaken until one can shake it no longer.

No Peepers, I am not exaggeratin'.  I'm not exaggeratin' at all.  There's...  THERE'S...  THERE'S...

There's a cricket loose in this here office of mine, and it's hoppin' from one place to another.  Yet I can't see it sittin', nor can I see it hoppin'.  I haven't even seen it doin' a jig.  In fact, I can't see it at all!

BUT I CAN HEAR IT.

Wait a minute!  Did you hear that, Peepers?  Did you hear that cricket callin' my name?  It's over there now.  Can you see it?  Can you find it?  Can you find that dastardly cricket over in that there corner?  Over on that side of my office where...

WAIT A MINUTE!  Now it's over here.  Now it's over on this side of the room.  Now I'm hearin' it chirpin' and cheepin' and cheepin' and chirpin' and dancin' its merry little jig, while it fools me once more and...

Okay.  Calm down, Sivvers.  Breathe deeply.  Let me close my ears and listen very, very carefully.  It's...  IT'S... IT'S....

OH MY MOUSES!  IT ISN'T THERE EITHER!

It's not here.  It's not there.  It's not anywhere.  And yet, it's EVERYWHERE, to be sure.  It's...

Magic?  Peepers, can crickets be magic?  Could this be a magical cricket doin' some sort of ventriloquist's act right here in my office?

Or might there be two...

Could there be two dastardly crickets in this here office of mine, chirpin' and cheepin' and cheepin' and chirpin' and basically drivin' me mad?

Or possibly three.

Or might it be the smoke detector?  Smoke detectors are tricky like that.  You know, when their batteries are runnin' low and they start chirpin' like crickets who are intent on drivin' kitties insane.

PEEPERS!  WE HAVE AN INFESTATION OF SMOKE DETECTOR IMPERSONATING VENTRILOQUIST CRICKETS IN MY OFFICE!

What-oh-what should we do?

Or perhaps we have a cricket impersonatin' smoke detector or...  OR...  OR...

Peepers!  Where are you goin'?  DON'T LEAVE ME NOW.  Please-oh-please don't leave me here alone with this cricket.  Or crickets.  Or infestation of crickets.  Or...

PEEEEEEEEPERRRRS!!!!!

Now listen up here you cricket, you stupid cheepin' chirpin' cricket, you.  I've had enough.  I, Seville the cat, am ordering you to identify your whereabouts right here and right now.  I'm orderin' you to tell me exactly where you are.   And the longer you take, the worse off you will be 'cause let me tell you, I've just about had it up to my whiskers with your voice throwin' chirps and your...  YOUR... YOUR...


Awwwwwwww... 
MOUSES!

PEEEEEEEEPERRRRS!!!!!  Wait up! Wait up for me!!!  That cricket is drivin' me mad.  I can't stay in my office for one moment longer for if I do, I'll go crazier than crazy can be.

Why...  I'll go crazy...  Like YOU.  I'll go crazy like you, Peepers.  You know, I'll go your kind of crazy, for sure.

And we can't have now, can we.   MOUSES!

39 comments:

  1. OMC! Do you think there could be hundreds of them doing it on purpose to drive you crazy?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know! They're insidious little beasts, for sure. MOUSES!

      Delete
  2. Oh those crickets are sooooooo hard to find. I think you should just try to close your ears Seville. We like to chase those little devils too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dang, talk about an earworm, those crickets will do that to you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I hear that Sparkle was the queen of cricket catching! And am sad to say that no crickets have been caught (and consumed) since my arrival. I guess I'm just a cricket slacker.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perhaps they're just not to your taste? purrs

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. It sure is. Sneaky as sneaky can be. MOUSES!

      Delete
  6. "I'll go crazy like you!" Pretty sure Bear's said that to me a time or 100.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We cats have to say it to our peeps a lot, I'm afraid. purrs

      Delete
  7. Don't you just hate when a cricket is somewhere in the house? Well, apparently you do. I hope you find it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do. I DO! Yup, hidden and speakin' but not revealin' himself at all. MOUSES!

      Delete
  8. Awww, Seville. . . crickets are nice insects. They like to sing! If I was going to have an insect in my house, I would want a praying mantis, cricket or a katydid. They are all nice insects. They won't hurt you, whereas spiders and such can. When I was a kid growing up, my brother and I used to catch insects all the time. We enjoyed it -- although he would catch the spiders too (YUK!!!). I only caught the *fun* ones as mentioned already plus grasshoppers and cicadas. Don't be skeered of them -- let them sing you to sleep!! ♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Spiders are awful! I hate 'em. They are NOT allowed in my house at all. Too scary for me and WAY TOO SCARY for the peeps' liking, for sure. MOUSES!

      Delete
  9. Oh my word, I reckon this could be the Weasel Syndicate up to their no good stuff, trying to drive you made and stop the blog! Maybe send in your marmie brothers to to sort things out? purrs ERin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can TOTALLY see that dastardly Weasel Syndicate sendin' a cricket operative into my house, for sure. MOUSES!

      Delete
  10. Oh dear, hope you find it. Must be driving you bonkers!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Replies
    1. They sure do know how to bug. MOUSES! I wonder if that's why we call 'em, bugs.

      Delete
  12. dood...therz a cricketz in me garage doin de eggs act same thing....furst eye thinked him waz under de trash can then eye was like...uh....noe....coz him woodna bee a chirpin noe mor....then eye looked round... bee hind... & next two everee thing.... N even getted under de car til de food servizz gurl came out N saw me.... N her hada fit.....sum thin bout greeze N oil.......eye haz yet ta find em tho but if eye due... eye will tell ya HOW.... sew ewe can locatez that one ther ~~~~~~~~ ♥♥ tuna of moon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have 'em at your house, buggin' you, too? Mouses those crickets get around. MOUSES!

      Delete
  13. Crickets are SO MUCH FUN to chase....they hop at the last possible second and go out of reach....we have to be "on our toes" to capture them but they are mighty tasty!!

    Hugs, Sammy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You've eaten one? Plain? With nip sauce? Inquirin' minds wanna know. purrs

      Delete
  14. MOL..I thought you were looking for your mousie, Seville and wanted to tell you that it is in my housie...MOL ...When you find the chirpie chirpie cheep.. creek don't hesitate to call me :D Good Luck Pawkisses :) <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My nip mouse is in your house? How did he get there? MOUSES!

      Delete
  15. Crickets and smoke detectors both make annoying sounds. I hope your peep solved the problem for you- or got you some ear plugs. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Got a whole box of earplugs on order, for sure. MOUSES!

      Delete
  16. It could be worse, Seville. Mouses! It could be an Evil Cockroach!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've never seen one of those and hopin' I never do. purrs

      Delete
  17. I love bugs. Mom hates them. Thanks for the visit. 😺

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you like all bugs? I like ladybugs a lot. They're really pretty, for sure. purrs

      Delete
  18. Crickets outside are pleasant but inside not so much at all. We don't have them here so no'problem

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You don't have cricket in California? I never knew! MOUSES!

      Delete

I love hearin' from my pals. I absolutely LOVE it! Just saying...